


Document 5

by mot_a_muggle



Series: Rose Stiltskin [5]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 80,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27481210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mot_a_muggle/pseuds/mot_a_muggle
Summary: Rose is getting her magic back so technically you can come here from document 1 or 3, not document 4 though, that is incomplete, and document 2 is just a part of the middle of one so not that either.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Reader, Fred Weasley/Reader, Tom Hiddleston/Loki/Reader
Series: Rose Stiltskin [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008045
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

sitting in dumbledore a office, i could feel the power starting to course through my veins. i was growing stronger by the second but i didn’t know if i would get to a point where i would eventually stop or if i would just, keep accumulating power until eventually i exploded. i wondered if i should ask dumbledore but he looked so sad. even as harry turned to me, and said something.   
“i’m sorry.” i think.   
“oh harry. it wasn’t your fault. i-should have never let him come.” i said quietly. but i wasn’t thinking of the ministry. i was thinking of how it all began. sirius would have been there to answer harry if he hadn’t been with me hunting down rumplestiltskin. that’s where it all started. but it felt like so many years ago. i could barely remember why it had mattered so much that i find rumplestiltskin. to demand an answer out of him.   
i don’t know if harry wanted to say something else, but i guess he could tell that i was looking straight through him. anger and sadness were overwhelming me.   
“not now harry.” dumbledore said. and harry sort of left the room in a quiet reserve.   
when it was just us, i looked up at dumbledore.  
“im sorry. i couldn’t save him.” i said because it was guilt that was eating at me.   
“were you listening to what i told harry?” he asked slowly but i shook my head slightly.   
“sort of?” i said but i didn’t care. “harry’s the one who has to kill voldemort right? i’m going to be honest when i say that i think on some level i already knew. i’m pretty sure he did too.”   
i looked into his eyes for the first time and i could see sadness, the same kind of desperate longing to go into the past and change something that had happened. at first i thought it had something to do with harry, but then i looked deeper and i could see something that i didn’t think anyone had ever seen before. i didn’t know if it had something to do with my magic strengthening or just, something that i could feel but suddenly i knew what was wrong.   
i wanted to pity him, but i knew he wouldn’t want that, besides i didn’t really have any pity left in me.   
“oh gosh. i’m so sorry.” i said slowly. my eyebrows curling.  
“sorry?”  
“for- your loss. for ariana.” his expression changed. i couldn’t tell what he was thinking.  
“do. you want to know. who did it?” i asked slowly but i could feel that i had to be real careful what i said next. he was hurting, in pain, and whatever i could see, i felt like i could at least bring him a little peace. even if it wasn’t true.   
he shook his head a little horrified but it was so slightly, like he really wanted to, but didn’t at the same time. i knew what that felt like and if it were me, i would have wanted to know. especially if it wasn’t me.   
“do you want to know who didn’t?” i asked quietly.   
i took his silence to mean yes but he had tears in his eyes. the great powerful dumbledore. i doubt anyone had seen him this vulnerable. maybe even his own family. but i didn’t take any pleasure in it. i wanted to give him comfort because that’s the one thing i wanted. to know that what happened to sirius would have happened despite me. not that, if i hadn’t been there, maybe he still would be alive.   
“it wasn’t you.” i said finally. “it wasn’t you professor.”  
but it was him. i could see the series of events very clearly and the match that had struck her down had been him.  
what was the point in telling him that though? in that moment? no matter what had happened, who had been the actual final blow, dumbledore would never be able to truly forgive himself.   
“and it wasn’t your brother either. it was.” i swallowed. “grindelwald. so at least forgive yourself for killing him.”  
i don’t think professor dumbledore knew what to say.   
“professor, do you think. my power. do you think it’ll stop coming? because now, i can feel it growing with every second-“  
“it’s still growing?” he asked absentmindedly but that seemed to bring him back at least a little.   
“i may have- touched the infinity stones.” i said  
“stones? plural?” he asked but i couldn’t tell if he was fascinated or worried for me.  
“all six of them. loki had them. said it was ok.”  
dumbledore modded thoughtfully. “well if loki said it would be ok then i’m sure it will be.” he said a little sarcastically.   
“so it’s not going to be ok then?” i asked. but i don’t know why, i just didn’t care.   
“i didn’t say that.”  
i stood up. “i guess you can’t know everything.”   
“what are you going to do?”  
“well, for one, make sure things are alright.” i said.   
“are you- coming back next year?”  
i was turning around but i paused. that was a question i hadn’t even considered. was i coming back next year? how could i?   
“professor. i only have until i turn 17 to be here anyway. loki, well, i think my father promised him my life or- something. i’m not sure even if want my father to die, i could get out of that. if i did come back, it would only be for the semester.”  
“you still have a choice to make.” he said lightly.  
“i think i will. harry needs me.”  
“you’re going to stay because harry needs you?” dumbledore sounded like he didn’t believe me.  
“maybe it’s more than that.” i said quietly. “maybe i need them too.”   
he nodded. “well, if you do come back. things might be just a little different here.” he said and i have a mirthless laugh.   
“different? around here? i can’t imagine.”   
he smiled a little. “what are you going to do now?”  
“travel.” i said without thinking about it. of course i was going to spend the last summer before i was to be potentially imprisoned, traveling. now that i had time travel too, i could go anywhere, but i knew i couldn’t interfere with my own timeline. all i wanted to do was go back and save sirius. but no matter what i did to save him, it would change this moment which would be interfering with my own timeline which was illegal.   
dumbledore nodded again.  
“thanks professor.” i said. “and just, be careful. and forgive yourself.”  
“you too.” i heard him say quietly as i left the room.

what was next? what was next? i had a few ideas of what to do. should i talk to harry first? or should i just go? i couldn’t bare to have anyone stare at me, not at that moment, but i just also didn’t care.   
“hold on,” i remembered. “i literally have magic. can’t i just make myself invisible?” and that’s exactly what i did, and went to find harry, ron and hermione who were curled up in the corner of the gryffindor common room.  
“hey guys.” i said invisibly and all three jumped. “will you guys come with me outside?”  
they looked around but nodded and stood up in unison.   
“are you ok?” hermione started “what’s happening.” but i didn’t want to talk without them being able to see me. we walked outside and the world had too much sunlight. there were too many people laughing and talking happily as if the entire world hadn’t gone out. as if an important light hadn’t been extinguished too early and after too much pain.  
after we went to our usual tree by the lake, i turned visible again.  
“so you have your magic back then?” hermione asked quietly.  
“hell of a way to get it back huh.” i said.  
“rose. are you ok?” ron asked which was interesting coming from him. he still had the marks on his face from where the tentacles latched on to him.  
“i will be.” i said. “and so will you.” i looked at harry as i said that. “look, harry. i was in that house with him, for a whole year, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it. he hated it there.”  
“so you think he’d rather be dead?” harry asked in a tone that made me wish i hadn’t said anything.   
“no! but.”  
“where were you anyway?” he asked poisonously. “i did call you know. from umbridges office. to see if he was at home. and neither of you replied.”  
tears formed in my eyes.  
“harry, there’s a moment that everyone wishes they could go back to to change it. believe me, in my whole life, if i could change one thing it’s not being there to let you know he was safe. but.” i hung my head. “i needed to go to my fathers and he insisted on following me. i tried to stop him, i did, but he wouldn’t listen to me.”  
harry didn’t react. “where did you go?”  
he asked his voice breaking a little.  
“i wanted to- to confront my father. and he said, he said he wouldn’t let me go alone.” it didn’t seem important anymore, my father, he seemed to useless to me. i was angrier at him than i’d ever been because the series of events that he had put in motion ended with sirius dying. i couldn’t accept that.   
“harry.”  
“ok.” he said. but he didn’t say anything else. ron and hermione exchanged glances but none of the three of us knew what to say.  
“so what are you going to do now?” hermione asked gently. “are you. coming back next year?”   
“dumbledore asked me that exact same thing and honestly, next year, i think so. at least for a few months.”   
“what happens after?”  
“it’s complicated hermione.” i said. “there are- promises i have to keep.”  
“promises.” harry spoke. “to whom?”  
i wasn’t sure i wanted to say. i knew i had written to hermione about loki but it wasn’t really in detail about what he had said about this.   
“basically it means that i can’t be here after my 17th birthday.” i said quietly. “but until then.”  
“so you’re leaving us?” harry sounded a little mad. “you’re leaving us?”  
“well, when you say it like that, it sounds like i have a choice.” i said a little irritated.   
“you can’t say that.” ron said. “rose. come on. you know /you/ can’t say that and not elaborate.”  
right, i probably should but i didn’t even know how. i took a breathe trying to think of how to say it.  
“my father, before i was even born, promised my life to someone in exchange for his. i’m not going to die or anything.” i added quickly looking at the horror struck looks on their faces. “but, according to loki, even if i wanted my father to die i wouldn’t be able to stay here anyway. we have a link, or a blood bond or something. i don’t know i barely understand how, but i do understand blood magic and i think if i don’t go to asgard on my 17th birthday, it won’t end well for anyone.”  
“anyone meaning you? loki?” hermione prompted. “it is loki isn’t it?”  
“my father didn’t even know he would have another child.” i said but i didn’t know why i was defending him. “in that moment he was promising the life of some fictional thing in exchange for his own. i kind of get why he did it, i don’t agree but he didn’t know.”   
“but loki?”  
“isn’t terrible. he didn’t have a choice but to ask for a life in exchange for a powerful life. maybe he didn’t know i was going to be born either.”  
“right.” hermione muttered. “as if your father and loki had no idea what they were doing.”  
that point actually hit me because she was right. there’s no /way/ they had /no/ idea what they were doing. but what was the point of picking apart their motive right now? what was done was done, and there was no way i could get out of it.   
“bad for everyone, by the way.”’i said. “not just bad for loki my father and i. bad for /all/ of us.” i used my finger to do i rounding motion that i hoped indicated i meant the whole realm.   
harry sighed. “and i have to go home this summer anyway.” he said and explained everything dumbledore had told him. i just listened again because even though i already knew it, i just didn’t want to think for a moment. every time he missed a small point, i chimed in and hermione and ron were playing eye-table -tennis with us.   
“you have to kill him in the end?” hermione asked in a horrified whisper.  
“but didn’t we know this on some level?” harry asked.   
“i mean, i guess but it’s just so weird to hear confirmation.” ron inputted.   
i nodded. “you guys can do it.” i said encouragingly. “i mean. you have to. we all have our own responsibilities.” i said knowingly.   
“right, and yours is to be basically be kidnapped!” ron said sarcastically.   
“it’s not kidnapping if i’m going willingly.” i said slowly. i was, sort of. there was nothing left for me there anyway. my friends sure, but they would be fine without me. plus loki was intriguing. i wanted to get to know him more. and there was no point in complaining so i might as well start trying to convince myself anyway.   
“willingly.” hermione scoffed.  
“you guys are going to be great.” i repeated. “but i’m not leaving until my 17th birthday. i’ll be back next semester.”  
“you will?” ron asked skeptically. “because owls were this year and- well, you missed kind of a lot.”  
“oh.” i hadn’t thought of that. it was odd of ron to have made that point. i thought for sure hermione would have, but not ron.  
“i don’t know ron. even if i do come back, it’ll just be for moral support. why would i bother with classes anymore? everything i could possibly need, i have right here.” i tapped my temple.   
speaking of that, my magic was no longer coming, as in. it had stopped growing more powerful. i guess i didn’t burst. maybe it would have stopped itself or maybe it was just being on the hogwarts ground with my friends. but i had gotten it under control. the overwhelming feeling of the power growing, taking over my lungs had stopped. i could breathe again. but i also didn’t feel the power i had subsiding. whatever i had i knew would be there to stay.   
“you could always learn more.” hermione said earnestly.   
“yeah i know.” i shrugged “but honestly, school, hogwarts specifically is unnecessary.” i had a feeling anyway that my wizardry wasn’t going to work. i didn’t know why, but i knew that the part of me that worked with a wand was gone forever, gone along with sirius. but i didn’t need it because whatever i could do with a wand, i could do without one.   
“guys. we have a week left this semester.” i said. “can we please not talk about depressing things? i’m not staying now, i don’t think. i don’t even know if i have a bed, plus there’s no way i’m showing up with just a couple of days left.” i laughed a little. i couldn’t believe that i had just casually mentioned last year and i didn’t feel scared of overwhelmed. i had been avoiding the sun for a whole year, and now, i didn’t think it should be out. i thought that it should take a day to mourn in respect for sirius, but i wasn’t scared to be outside anymore.   
“if you’re not staying, where are you going?” ron asked.  
i shrugged. “i have some ideas, there are a lot of people that need help. and i have more than enough to offer.”  
hermione nodded. “if you want to travel-“ but her voice trailed off. obviously this wasn’t the summer for traveling. maybe there would be time next year but none of us really knew what was going to happen next.   
“anyway, guys. i think i’ll actually come stay with you over the summer.” i said with ease, “i mean, if we only have a few months left. might as well spend as much time as i can with you.”  
i looked at ron like i might have expected him to disagree but he nodded. “are you kidding? we’d love to have you.”   
i smiled. i would miss all of them so much but at least i had this summer and six months left.   
“harry. about sirius.”  
“we don’t need to talk about him.” harry shut it down quickly.   
“believe me i’d be ok if we never talked about what happened again.” i said lightly. “but him, not coming back as a ghost. that’s not because of you. it’s because- he’s been trapped too long. harry. first in azkaban and then in that house. this was the only way he could ever truly be free.”  
gods it sounded awful when i had said that, but it was true and harry needed to here it.  
an expression flickered over his face but if he was mad or irritated, he didn’t show it.   
“he’s free now.” harry repeated quietly.   
“i’m sorry.” i said matching his tone.   
we had a chill day, it was depressing though for me because i couldn’t stop thinking about what more i could have done to help sirius. if anyone expected me to get over it, they would be disappointed because i absolutely did not. but that didn’t mean i could sit around and sulk about it either. i had meant what i told hermione. i had some ideas about what i could do over the next few days. maybe i’d go stay with them over summer, or maybe i would do a lifetime worth of living in 6 months. but i could always do that from hogwarts too. taking everyone’s memories of my little “outburst” last year would be the practical thing to do. so that’s what i did, it took a wave of my hand but as far as everyone but my friends were concerned, i had simply taken a medical leave for the last two years.   
that evening, i left. i was really sure where i was going to go, but i figured i would meet up with ron and harry at the weasley’s house as soon as term ended.   
hermione hugged me before i left and ron and harry patted me on the back. i opened a portal to my home town because i thought my first step should be to help everyone my father hurt. 

there i was, 16 years old, looking older for my age. i was dressed in what people wore in my hometown, sort of a pirate look, but maybe less badass. i wouldn’t see my father again, everything had happened so quickly, but if i was a secret weapon he wanted to unlock, i wasn’t going to make it easier for him.   
sirius still circled my my mind every moment but i couldn’t let him overwhelm me. i loved him, and he loved me which is exactly why he wouldn’t want me to be locked up in my own mind. the irony was that his death had set him free, but it set me free too. well no, technically getting my magic back had. no matter how much i didn’t want to use sorcery, how much it scared me, it was who i was. sorcery was a part of me no matter how much i wanted to lock it away. but sirius wouldn’t have been scared. no, he would have been proud of me, helped me even. i was sure that he would have told me to try it, and help people with it.   
the first place i went was a pub. luckily it wasn’t local, plus i hadn’t been back in 6 years so no one really recognized me. i had changed a lot in six years, even for those most developmental years.   
no one questioned that i was 18, either the bartender didn’t care or i looked 18.   
i sat there with a drink of butter beer because there was no way i was going to drink alcohol in the middle of a place filled with potential enemies, even though they were who i came to help.   
there was an idea forming in my mind, it wasn’t a very good one, i didn’t even know if i could take down an entire establishment. but i had to try, there were too many rumors surrounding that place. plus, i knew someone who could take me there. i mean, not knew, but i could introduce myself. it would be risky, stupid, and i couldn’t reveal my final secret, not until i had everything in place, until the wheels were turning fast enough that no one could jam them.   
that’s why i was looked up slightly and looked back down at my drink when a man walked in. he was handsome, attractive even but that’s not what i was there for. he was wearing black leather everything, but his jacket wasn’t closed all the way. his jewelry was silver and glinted in the gold light of the tavern.   
i smiled a little looking down, there was something very- “sirius black” about him, but he wasn’t sirius black. no one else would ever be sirius black. and i couldn’t let anything distract me from what i wanted to do.   
i was enough to attract his attention, or maybe it was the way i was dressed in a tavern full of women with frilly, but cheap dresses.  
“rum, all around.” the man said pointing his finger around to motion the six other men who walked in behind him.   
i looked up again, but this time made eye contact with him for a second before i broke it off so that he would think he was in control of the situation.   
i could tell he had raised an eyebrow but he sat down a couple of seats down from me waiting for the drinks while everyone else had gotten a table behind him.  
i could tell he looked at me a couple of times but i didn’t look up. not until after he had gotten the drinks, set them down on the table and then come over to me.  
“so what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” he asks setting his own drink down next to mine and sitting down facing me.  
i pick my head up and turn towards him. “what do you mean ‘a girl like me?’” i ask smiling. “what do you think you know about me?”  
“well, you’re holding that drink like you’re afraid someone’s going to take it away, and you’re not exactly dressed like you’re waiting for someone. are you.” that last line sounded like an insult which was my cue to get up. if i made it seem like i was walking out, he wouldn’t like that, because no one would walk away from him.  
“right, so you’re judging me based on how i dress?” i asked. “how very man-ish of you.”  
“oh my apologies i didn’t mean any offense. it’s just, look around. all these women are clearly waiting for someone. but you. seem like you know exactly what you want.”  
i had gotten half up from the seat but i sat down again and put my head on my palm after resting my elbow on the table. “i don’t know about that.” i said quietly. “but i do know what i want now.”  
he laughed a little. “and what is that?”  
i smirked a little. “adventure.” i said simply.  
“adventure? well you’ve run into quite the right person.” he dropped his voice. “i’m a pirate.”  
i raised my eyebrow to look interested. “a pirate?” i gasped a little.   
“shh, not so loud.” he said.  
“well do you have a ship and everything?” i asked.  
“well depends on what you mean by everything.” he said. “but them? they’re my crew.” he gestured to the men he had seated and gave drinks to.  
“a crew too?” i was acting like an idiot, or maybe just a flirt which was my intention because i needed to get on that ship.   
“i never got your name.” i said  
“captain killian jones.” he said tilting his hands a little like my father used to do when he introduced himself. i hated that.  
“captain killian jones.” i repeated. then i looked down at his hand as if just noticing the hook for his hand for the first time.  
“no, i think i like captain hook better.” i smiled.  
“as long as there’s a captain. i don’t care.” he smirked. “would you like a tour of my ship?” he asked standing up and holding out a hand like he was sure i’d say yes without even waiting for an answer.   
he hadn’t even asked my name.   
i stood up and took his hand. “a ship.” i said in fake awe. “i would love to.”  
he took me to his ship and took me around, the whole thing and ended with the captains quarters. when he opened the door to his room eventually, he looked so proud.   
“captains quarters.” he announced throwing the door open.  
“it’s nice.” i walked inside and looked around then plopped on to his bed.  
“it’s a really nice room.” i said tilting my head.  
“i’m glad you said that.” he smiled and came closer as if wanting to kiss me.  
“but, it’s not that easy.”  
i said putting a finger on his lips as he sat down next to me and brought his head close to mine.  
“of course not.” he muttered and moved away.   
“listen, hook. you never even asked me who i am.” i said quietly.   
he looked embarrassed. “right, you probably don’t care, it probably doesn’t matter to you. you’ll forget me in a day. if even that long.”  
“no, that’s not-“ he stuttered.   
“it’s ok, really.” i smiled. “but, you’re a pirate. and i was straight up with you with what i wanted.”  
“adventure.” he said.  
“wow you remembered.” i mocked.   
“well i don’t usually take people places so if there’s something else you want, i’ll help you out with it, if not. please feel free to leave.”  
“fine.” i said. and i walked out of the room and to the deck.   
“i’m rose. by the way. rose stiltskin. not that you asked.”  
it’s like i could feel him freeze behind me. it had exactly the reaction i hoped. i knew he couldn’t see me so i smiled a little and started walking off the ship.  
“wait.” he called out. and i paused.  
“stiltskin as in rumplestiltskin?”  
i sighed dramatically and turned around.  
“oh gods this is so embarrassing, you know him?”  
“i-i’ve heard of him.” he swallowed, his voice was so reserved and i could tell it was so hard for him to not just straight up kill me. but he had to play this properly. and i knew what he was going to do. it was just something someone like him would do. besides i had planted the idea in his mind the second he walked through the doors of that pub. i knew what he would do.  
“i’m. his daughter. .” i said shakily. “i’ll see you around maybe.” i made to leave.  
“wait.” he called again. “i didn’t know that your father was a man of such- a man stature. i guess that allows for one. ‘adventure’. “ he sounded like it pained him to even say that but i couldn’t help but smiling a little before i dropped my head and turned around.  
“why?” i asked.  
“i’ve met him before.” he said. i knew that. rumplestiltskin has told me all about how he stole and murdered his ex-wife. but i wasn’t there for revenge. that wasn’t between me and hook.   
“we just have to wait for my crew to come back.” he said tilting his was.  
“aw we have to wait for them?” i asked mockingly.   
he laughed. “well i suppose we don’t have to, if you’re that. eager.”   
but i looked a little unsure. “no, you shouldn’t leave your crew behind.” i said. “but we can go get them.” i said.   
“i’m sure they’d love to be interrupted while they’re out drinking.” hook said but i thought he might have just been stalling because he didn’t want everyone to know he hadn’t been laid.   
“fine, then tell me about your experience with my father while we wait.”   
“i’m not sure what makes you think i have one.” he replied.   
“come on.” i said, “everyone who comes through these parts has an experience with my father.”  
at this point i wasn’t sure what i was doing. why did i care about his side of the story? i knew what he had done. but my father wasn’t exactly the most credible to me at that moment.   
i guess i just wanted to know what he dad done to my step mother. well she wasn’t never really my step mother, hook had killed her before i was even found by rumplestiltskin. and even if i did feel even a little sympathy for him, for whatever my father had done to get hook to hate him so much, i wanted to know. but i couldn’t give myself away. not at that moment.  
“i don’t have one.” hook said coldly, and i let it go. i didn’t want him to relive it. and i could have seen what happened if i wanted to, but at that moment; there was only one thought running through my mind and it had nothing to do with justice for my father or his ex wife.  
i stared over the side of the ship into the mellow ocean. i’d loved the ocean since i was a child but being at hogwarts year round didn’t give me much chance to go to the beach.   
i wanted to jump in to the water but not now.   
i could tell hook was staring at me like he was trying to size me up. like if what he was going to do next was ok. as if he was wondering if ruining my life over his hatred of my father was worth it.   
“the oceans my favorite place too.” he said taking a step closer.  
i turned around and pushed the hair from my face.   
“well i would think so seeing as how you chose to be a pirate.” i didn’t mean it as an insult but apparently it was a soft spot for him because he became defensive immediately.   
“you don’t know anything about me.” he growled.   
i raised an eyebrow. “look hook, i didn’t mean to offend you. i’ve just not had a lot of experience here.”  
he looked down. “right.” then he paused. “i’m a pirate because i like the danger and the risk of this life, but i wasn’t always a pirate.” i watched him carefully thinking he was going to elaborate but he didn’t. instead he left and went to set the navigation course to where i knew we were going.   
i watched the ocean a little more while i could feel hook take little glances at me, probably wondering again if what he was about to do was ok. and finally his crew came back, most of them were extremely inebriated but they all kept away from me. they probably saw me with hook and realized that they shouldn’t mess with the girl their captain had probably slept with.   
“we can go now.” he said looking up and watching everyone.  
“where are we going captain?” a small man with a red cap so seemed the least drunk asked.  
“on an adventure.” hook smiled.   
i didn’t take my eyes off the ocean. i figured where we were going,   
a few minutes later, after we travelled through a portal, we were docked in front of an island.  
“the first place you’re taking me is an island?” i asked skeptically to hook as he came down off the navigation deck.   
“i’ve been here before,” he said quietly, “trust me theres a lot of things to do here.”   
“right,” i muttered, but i still took his hand when he reached out to me.   
suddenly i wasn’t so sure about this anymore. sure i had magic, i was very powerful, but if something went wrong, well no. i couldn’t think like that. nothing would go wrong. i could do this. all those people were depending on me- even though they would have no idea who i am or that i was even coming.   
we walked through the beach and into a forest, the whole place was foggy and i couldn’t see two feet in front of me. when we got to the mainland, the scene was almost indescribable. most of the men there were in tribal wear, but not the racist kind that people are portrayed in in america. they weren’t wearing headdresses or animal fur coats. it was more, vicious than that. there teeth were sharper than most people, their eyebrows thicker, faces more square.   
there clothes had blood on them that i felt bad hoping was animals, and they had swords and knives strapped to them.  
most of the had really short hair standing up in the middle but two of them, in the middle of the circle, had long hair. i could tell they were probably the leaders of the group.  
“you have someone for us killian.” the man on the middle says. they’re sitting on a chair while the other men say in a circle around them, there were no women there which was exactly why i was there.  
I turned to look at hook and like i was wondering what the fuck was going on.  
“the mother load. or the father load i should say.” he stepped back a little but shoved me ahead. “daughter of rumplestiltskin.”  
that made the two men in the middle stand up and i noticed that one was clearly the father of the other.   
“daughter of rumplestiltskin?” the older one asked quietly and walked closer to me.  
“what are you doing?” i asked turning to hook but he looked sick.  
“i’m sorry.” he said but he turned away.  
“i told you i’m the daughter of rumplestiltskin and you’re using that against me?” i asked.   
“does this mean my debt is paid?” hook asked looking at the two men.  
“oh you can bet so.” the older one said smiling viciously.  
“why,hook?” i whispered to hook.  
“i lied.” he said.  
“clearly.”   
“i did have an experience with your father. he- he killed the love of my life.”  
actually that gave me pause.   
“no.” i said ignoring everything that was going on around me. “you killed his.”  
“that’s what he told you?” he looked like he wanted to chuckle but i really believe he would have thrown up if he had. “no, milah, she came to me. told me she needed to get out of that relationship. she said she wanted adventure too. just like you. and i- fell in love with her as we travelled. i made the mistake of coming back. she said she wanted to see her son, say goodbye to him and rumplestiltskin found us. he found us and he couldn’t handle her rejection so he ripped out her heart right in front of me and crushed it.”  
“ok enough catching up.” the old man snarled. “you can go now /hook/“ he sneered. and hook turned around and walked away. i stared after him distracted from what i was doing. why would my father lie to me about that? probably to make himself seem less evil. but still, even after everything i knew about him, it was one more thing that i had to stomach that i didn’t want to.   
the younger man grabbed me, i assumed to pull me away to where they were keeping the other women.   
i went compliantly even though i had no intention of being compliant. i just wanted to make sure i didn’t hurt the women or children in the process.  
i was right, there were hundreds of women’s huddled in small houses housing three each with their one or two children, there were no boys under the age of 12, and only women and their daughters.   
“daughter of rumplestiltskin, we’ll be coming for you later.” the man who had brought me here growled before locking me in a house with two other woman, their two daughters who couldn’t have been older than 4-5 and one little boy who looked like he was 11.  
“what’s going on?” i asked one of the ladies.   
“you don’t know?” she had a heavy accent but i could still understand her. “these men, they’re barbarians. they marry us and lock us away in these houses until we’ve had children. the boys are taken away when they turn 12 and the girls when they turn 16. he girls always come back though.”  
these were things i’d heard about this island.  
“these men, they’re the worst.” i growled. “but i’m here to help.”  
“help?” the other woman clutched her daughter. “how can you help? you are a woman.”  
i have a humorless chuckle. “yeah maybe but i’m done letting men walk all over us.” i said.  
“trust me. no ones ever going to hurt any of you again.”  
but they looked extremely skeptical.   
“my son, is about to turn 12.” the woman who was clutching her daughter spoke. “in three days, they will come and take him away and turn him into a hunter.”  
the whole thing didn’t actually sound as bad as it was. maybe some of these women were the daughters of theme here but i had heard that a majority of them had been kidnapped. people like hook who had brought women here to pay off a debt. i also knew this island held magical herbs, and that’s what was worth another human life. i couldn’t help but feel hatred surge through me for men who wanted youth of immortality in exchange for some one else’s life. it was so very. man of them.  
what was my plan next? well i figured as the daughter of rumplestiltskin they’d want to do worse to me than they’d done to any of the other women, or maybe i just had more standing so i’d be married to the chief. either way i wasn’t going to wait to find out.   
i didn’t sleep that night, i stayed up thinking of exactly what i was going to do. my biggest problem was getting these women off the island. i hadn’t actually come up with a solution to that. i was hoping to just apparate with them but i didn’t actually even know if i could apparate with so many people. guess there was a first time to try everything i just wished that it wasn’t such an important time that i’d be trying that for the first time.   
anyway, the next day came and just like i expected it was the chief.   
“get up.” he yelled at me, even though i wasn’t asleep the kids were so i wished he would shut up.  
apparently there were rituals that everyone had to go through to get married.  
“you’re a little older than 16 but that should be ok.” he smiled. “we will make an exception . this time.” gods i hated that attitude. i just wanted to kill him right then and there but. patience. that’s what i needed.   
i waited until they gave me the dress i needed to wear and until i was in the middle of the circle like the chief and his son were in yesterday.   
i waited until the son of the chief came up and explained that i would be his but first they wanted information on my father. i waited until they thought i was completely vulnerable, until they thought that i was broken and powerless. but i had been there once before and i would never get there again.   
finally, the moment came. we were far enough from the village that the woman and children would’ve safe even when i caused a mass massacre. but then, there was a distraction.  
“stop!” a voice yelled and i saw a glinting sword cut through the trees as a man came running through the woods.  
i stared in awe as hook and his crew showed up at the circle.  
“look i know what i did, but i take it back, i don’t want to pay off my debt like this.”  
“hook?” i heard myself say to myself.  
this was taking an interesting turn. maybe he wasn’t as bad as i thought. of course i put the idea in his head to bring me here but i honestly thought he would just leave and forget about me. i never expected him to be back at this moment. and trying to stop them? that definitely wasn’t the man who ripped out the heart of rumples wife and crushed it right in front of him. i didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about it, but i was sure i believed hook in that moment. rumplestiltskin killed his own wife because he couldn’t handle that she ran off with hook.   
before i could even fully comprehend what was going on,i yelled   
“go get the women and ask them to go to the ship with you i yelled!”  
but then heard heard “i’m sorry, i’m not leaving you here again.”  
“right like you had a problem with that before.” i muttered but i don’t know, i wasn’t really mad.   
“i can take care of this hook. go.” before he could leave, one of the men had thrown a spear at me, of course i sensed it and stopped it with my magic right before it hit me.   
“seriously?” i asked holding up the spear without touching it. “ok who threw this?”  
“oh you have magic?” hook whispered in awe but i guess that broke him out of guilt trance.  
“go!” i yelled at him. and he finally did.  
i turned to face the crowd of men, they were all silent and i stared at them.  
“you guys have out through so many people through so much he’ll, i don’t even know what punishment would be enough for you. “ i shook my head. “so whose going to come at me first?” i asked. “or” i tilted my head, “better question, whose going to die first?”   
they all came at me in a blur and all at once. i didn’t have a chance to decide exactly what to do but the ground beneath all of their feet opened just a bit and they all fell through enough so that only the head and upper torso was sticking out of the ground. i also made sure to stick their tongue to the roof of their mouth so none of them could say a word.  
“hm.” i said mock thoughtfully, “i wonder which way you should die. i could leave you here to starve to death or, i could set the place on fire and you’d burn to death or asphyxiate. i guess i’ll as you.”  
i pointed to the chief and unstuck his mouth. “how would you like to die chief?” i asked quietly.   
i could see the fear in his eyes and it was like looking into the eyes of batty crouch jr after dumbledore had found him.   
i didn’t feel any pity, i just wanted to finish them, to rip their guys inside out but i figured it should be the women they abused to make that decisions if it were me i’d have at least wanted to have a say in barry crouch’s demise. in fact i would have given a lot to watch the soul be sucked out of him. i figured these women should be given the same option.  
with these men safely secured in the ground, i left them and walked into the village where hook was trying to round up all the women but no one was listening to him.  
“listen ladies!” i exclaimed building a pedestal using the rocks and stood on it and amplified my voice. “the men that abused you, they’re the ones imprisoned now. i have a gift for you, you guys can decide how they die. there’s starving to death, asphyxiation or i can just rip their guts out. it’s up to you. what else is up to you is whether you want to stay on this island after their deaths, or you can come with us. i’ll set you up with money and a house and you guys can have a fresh start with your children.”  
the women were silent until the two i had spent the night with last night stepped up a little.   
“you did it?” the lady with the two kids asked timidly.  
i nodded smiling. “i told you i would didn’t i?” i said kindly.  
“i want to kick his face in.” she said. speaking up a little more. once for all the 14 years i’ve been stuck here, taken away from my family.”  
i nodded. “they’re all stuck in the ground.” i said. “please feel free to find yours.”   
she nodded and gripped the other woman who she was staying it. they both slowly walked towards the woods.   
“are you sure it’s safe to go after them?” another woman asked   
i nodded. “i improsoned them in the ground. you can definitely kick their faces in.”  
a few other women followed the two into the woods. we heard a lot of grunting, and screaming from the men but the women didn’t seem to care.   
soon, one by one, they found plastic bags, matchsticks or just their legs and one by one, the screams and grunting increased. the children stayed there and i muted it for them as much as i could.   
when they all came back, i cleaned them so their children wouldn’t see any residue on their clothes.  
“i want to stay here.” a woman said once everyone gathered around again. “without that could man, this islands not bad, and i’d like to raise my children here.” there were a lot of mutters of agreement.   
still 15 women came forward, 15 women who didn’t have mothers or children, most of them where 16-20 but one seemed older, she clutched her five year old daughter and moved with the rest of us to the ship.   
hook hadn’t said anything yet but i was planning on talking to him just as soon as we got everyone on the ship safely.   
“i’m so happy for you guys.” i said quietly to the women we were leaving behind. “raise your sons well, and protect your daughters. i’ll protect your island from any other colonizers who try to steal the herbs.” of course i was planning to steal some herbs but i wasn’t planning to tel anyone that. it wasn’t for selfish reasons, it was to help anyone that could have needed it for whom my magic wouldn’t have worked.   
once we were on the ship, it was dark outside. hook lead the women straight to his own cabin and let them slee wherever they wanted to.   
then he joined me on the deck staring out into the moon reflected into the water.   
“why’d you come back?” o asked when he finally joined me without looking at him.  
“i should have never left you in the first place.” hook said sounding ashamed.   
i sighed. i guess i should tell him. i didn’t want him feeling worse than he probably did. i could tel he could feel real shame.   
“i’m so sorry.” he said. “seriously, i just heard- you were rumplestiltskins daughter and i just wanted revenge so badly, but this. this was below the line.”  
i sighed and nodded. “look hook, don’t feel too bad about it ok?”  
“how can i not?” he sounded like he wanted to cry.  
“because. because i put the idea in your head.” i said dejectedly. “the minute we met, i set up the whole thing so i would end up on that island so i could do what i just did.”   
“you- put the idea in my head?” he asked  
“i’m sorry this time. look it’s not about you. this wasn’t about me either. it was about all those women who needed help. i never intended to make you doubt your self compass.”  
“bigger than both of us.” hook nodded looking into the ocean.   
“so you’re ok?” it sounded dumb coming out of my mouth but i didn’t know what else to say.  
“not really. but like you said, it’s bigger than both of us. you had this plan the whole time?”

i nodded slowly. “for months actually.” i swallowed.   
we were both silent for a while before i finally turned to him.   
“do you think, the women are going to be ok?” he asked without turning back.   
“i hope so.” i whispered. “they have the chance to raise their sons better, and they’re protected from the outside world. i may go check on them in a while, but i can’t go after a few months anyway. maybe you could though?”  
“why can’t you go?”   
“it’s complicated.” i said turning away again.   
“isn’t it always.”   
“speaking of complicated. can you, tell me what happened between you and my- father?” my voice broke.  
“your father.” he repeated but it sounded like he didn’t completely register it. then he finally looked at me. “you’re not, milahs daughter are you?”   
“no.” i whispered. “at least, i don’t think so. i never met my stepbrother. her son, and she died when he was young, so no. i don’t think i am.”   
“you remind me of her though.”  
i almost laughed. “yeah? how?”  
“she would have done the same thing.”  
“really.” i don’t know why i cared about milah, it’s not like she had any connection with me. she wasn’t my mom or even my step mother. she was simply the woman who my father had loved years before he had found me. the one he told me was murdered by a pirate with a hook for a hand.  
“he told me you killed her.” i repeated even though i already knew he knew this.  
“because he didn’t want you to know how evil he was. is.” hook said.  
“no, believe me that boat has sailed. he’s. evil. beyond evil.” i whispered.  
“yeah? you know this?”  
“i do.”  
“even as his daughter.”  
“family doesn’t make me blind.” i said. “of hes evil, he’s evil, i didn’t make him that way. the sword did.”  
“the sword?” hook asked.  
“the dark one sword.” i said.. “the only weapon that can kill him. if hook was interested in this, he didn’t ask anymore questions. i don’t know why i just told him that, i hadn’t even told barry crouch through the torture. i just didn’t care about rumplestiltskin anymore.  
“you going to bed?” i asked him.  
“i can’t. i have a bunch of women sleeping on my bed.”   
i laughed. “that must be a first.” i said. “women on your bed without you there to join them. probably don’t want your crew to know huh?”  
he smiled too, or at least i thought he did. his hook glinted in the light of the moon.  
“do you, forgive me?” he asked.  
“i never blamed you to begin with.” i replied. and we didn’t talk anymore. i left him to go find an empty space to sleep because i hadn’t slept the night before when a girl came wandering out.  
“what’s your name?” i asked her softly because she looked like she was going to cry.  
“they named me danica.but my real name is aliyah” she said quietly with the same accent as her mother and father. “what’s yours?”  
“rose.”‘i said.   
“thank you,” she said. “i don’t think i said that before.”  
i smiled. “it was no problem.” i replied. “where are you going?”   
“i was only taken a couple of weeks ago,y parents are still out there, on Hogsmeade I think.”   
“so you’re going to see them again.” i said kindly.  
she nodded. “i hope they haven’t forgotten about me.”  
i borrowed my eyebrows. “why would they have forgotten about you?” i asked.   
she shrugged. she couldn’t have been much older than me. 16- 17 max.   
“i don’t know.” she shrugged. i wondered if i should read her past. i was curious to know why she could have thought her parents had forgotten about her but at the same time. i had a feeling it had been more than a couple of weeks.   
“is it ok, if i. read your past?” i asked softy.   
“i’m not sure i understand.” she said.  
“i can, watch your past.” i said. “because of my magic.”  
she took a second to think about it but she nodded. her eyes were brownish hazel and glinted in the moonlight. her hair was light brown and she was gorgeous.   
i closed my eyes and gently placed my hands on her face.   
i didn’t watch back too far but i was right, she had been on the island much longer than two weeks. more like two years. and her parents had provided her a loving stable home, mostly. until she came home with a girl at 14 and they kicked her out so she fell right into the hands of another trafficker.   
“aliyah, your parents. i think they think you just ran away.” i said softly.  
“no.” she said determined. “they’re looking for me.”  
“darling. you’ve been on that island for two years.”  
“no!” she exclaimed tears forming in her eyes. that’s impossible.”  
i didn’t want to upset her anymore so i nodded.  
“darling maybe you should, try to sleep. i’ll help you find your parents once we land.”  
“you will?” she asked.  
“yes.” i stood up and help up a hand which she took.  
“rose?” she asked. “will you- stay with me tonight too? i’ve never slept without other people. amd my friends didn’t come with me.”  
i hesitated for a moment. she seemed smart but she was also very fragile. i didn’t want to make things worse for her. but if she asked me to stay with her, she obviously didn’t want to be alone. especially after what i had told her about her parents.   
finally, i nodded, and we found a small room at the base of the ship.  
i laid down next to her and watched as her chest went up and down with every breathe she took. i could tell when she fell asleep because she let out a small puff of air with every exhale which made me smile for some reason. i wanted her to be ok.   
ok, i wanted them all to be ok. but i didn’t want to leave her alone. i couldn’t even slee properly because i didn’t want her to wake up scared. but she didn’t wake up through the night and eventually i fell asleep too.   
i woke up because there was so much noise coming from the top deck.  
“rose wake up.” aliyah said. “i think we have docked.”   
i woke up and rubbed my eyes and used my magic to freshen myself up then we walked to the top together. all the other women had already gathered. they were clutching each other and muttering.   
they all seemed very nervous.   
“don’t worry ladies.” i said softly. “i will set you guys up with money and a house, and if you absolutely cannot adjust, just call me. and i’ll take you back to the island.” but i didn’t think anyone was going to take me up on that offer. there was too much to offer here, why would they ever go back to the hell they were trapped in? these women were all young, they had been there maybe two years like aliyah. the ones who chose to stay there would have either been born and raised there or must have been held there for decades. except the one older woman who chose to to leave. i admired her courage. especially with her daughter.   
i lead all of them off the ship and handed the 100 gold coins each and an address where a house had magically popped up.   
they all thanked me and i wished them good luck. if i had the chance i would have found every single one of their parents but no one asked and i didn’t even know if they wanted to find them. only aliyah asked me and i would help her.   
aliyah stayed behind. and i lead her back onto the ship where hook watched us.  
“would you give me a moment?” i asked her and walked over to hook after she nodded.  
“what are you doing?” he asked.  
i glanced at her and shrugged. “she needs help.”  
“they all needed help, and you helped them.” he said. “you don’t have to do this.”  
“what do you know about what i need to do?” i asked. “i’m just helping her find her parents.”  
“listen rose. that girl, just like the rest of them are emotionally unstable. she needs to be with the rest of them.”  
“she /needs/ to find her parents.” i insisted.   
“you’re right, but don’t get involved. trust me. she’s going to end up bringing you down too.”   
he was right and i knew it deep down, but on the surface i was mostly just angry that he was telling me what i needed to know.  
“no offense hook, but you don’t know what you’re talking about. you have no idea what she’s been through.”  
“and you do?” he asked. “you were on that island for one night.”  
“it’s not about the island.” i said quietly. “and it’s none of your business. look, i’m not going to get involved with her. i’m just going to help find her mom and dad. that’s all.”  
“that’s all.” he repeated skeptically.   
“again, none of your business, but yes.”  
“fine.” he sighed like he was resigned to me doing whatever i insisted i was going to do like he had known me for years.   
“i’ll see you around then. maybe.” i said turning away.  
“wait.” he said grabbing my arm. “here.” he pressed something into my hand. it was like a communication device. “press this button and it’ll signal me no matter where i am. use it if you need me.”  
“and why would i need you?” i asked but i hadn’t meant for it to sound so mean. i winced after it came out. “sorry, i didn’t mean.- it’s just, you don’t know me.”  
“no, but i have a feeling you might need my help. and after what you did for all those women-“ his sentence trailed off.  
“i’ll need your help because i’m going to get hurt.”  
“no, just. wow now i regret even doing this.”  
i laughed. “thanks hook.” i said. then i walked away pocketing the device realizing i’d probably never use it. i mean, when would i?  
i draped my arm over aliyah without thinking and she winced so i quickly pulled away. “i’m sorry.” i said horrified  
“no, it’s ok. i’m sorry. it’s just.”  
“too much too quick.” i nodded. “believe me in understand.”  
“what are we going to do?” she asked.  
“well i can help you find your parents.” i said.   
“yes. that would be good.” she said.  
i smiled. great i just need some dna.”  
“dna?”  
“just a piece of hair.” i plucked it off her head and she winced.   
“sorry.” i said but i was already working with it. soon it started to glow golden like it had found a trace.   
“now, we just follow it.” i said showing it like a piece of art.  
“that was amazing.” she smiled  
“don’t be too amazed yet.” i replied. “it still has to lead us where i want it to.”  
she rubbed my shoulder. “it will.”   
we started following the hair, after a couple of hours of walking, we were both tired. she talked for a while, told me she had went to school until she was 14 but after she was kicked out, she wanted to get a job but no one would hire someone so young so she went around pickpocketing. that’s when she found a group of people who offered to take her in and that hadn’t ended well for her.   
i told her that i had set up the whole encounter with hook to her to the island on purpose so i could liberate all the women in captivity and tears formed in her eyes because she couldn’t believe i had planned the whole thing.  
we took a break in a tavern for an hour after the couple of hours of walking. i bought us both cold butter beer and she took it gratefully.   
“it’s been so long.” she said gripping the mug and sipping it slowly and the. gulping it all down looking at me expectantly for another. i laughed at her foam mustache but ordered her another one.   
a couple of hours later, we were deeper into hogsmeade but the glow had started to go out which meant we were close to her parents. finally, we reached a small house that aliyah recogmized.   
she looked so nervous but i encouraged her. “it’s ok.” i said softly. “go on.”   
she looked at me nervously and then went ahead to knock on the door.  
a minute later, a man opened the door. i could tell he was definitely her dad. the resemblance was uncanny.   
“aliyah?” he asked thunderstruck. it looked like he didn’t know what to say.   
“dad?” she asked quietly.  
“maybe at one point.” he said coldly.  
i wanted to punch him. he had no idea what his daughter had been through, two years later she shows up and that all he has to say? unacceptable.  
“what do you know about what aliyahs been through the last couple of years?” i growled stepping up and crossing my arms. she didn’t say anything.   
“is she your latest fag?” he asked looking at me with disgust and i balled my fist. i couldn’t punch him, not yet.   
“dad don’t.” she said. “please you have no idea what i’ve been through the last two years.”  
“whatever happened to you, you did to yourself.” he snarled and just about slammed the door.  
aaliyah stepped back and started to cry. i wrapped my arms around her trying to comfort her and she started crying even more in my arms.   
“it’s ok:” i whispered.   
but i could feel her shake her head.   
“they hate me. they didn’t even care.”   
“because you didn’t get a chance to tel them.” i said. gently pulling her off. “but i will.”  
“don’t bother.” she said. “they won’t care.”  
but i didn’t listen. i went and banged on the door for a while until they had no choice but to give in and open it. this time, both her parents came to the door.  
“do - you have any idea! what she’s been through?!” i yelled in their faces. for some reason it was cathartic it was like i was yelling at my own father which i never got the chance to do.   
“how dare you come to my house and yell at me?” her father yelled but by that point i had already taken the memories out of her head and put them in theirs.  
instantly he shut up.  
“aliyah?” he whispered.   
she didn’t look up.   
“gods aliyah? i’m so sorry.” he voice broke. sure now he wanted to apologize to her.  
“aliyah.” her mother stepped out of the house and embraced her daughter. “what’s happened to you?” tears streamed down her face.  
“mom. you left me.” she cried. “for two year your didn’t look for me. you thought or didn’t care that i ran away.”  
her mom didn’t know what to say.  
“and i’ll regret that for the rest of my life.” she whispered but aliyah had pulled herself together by that point and pulled away from her mother.  
“i brought a girl home two years ago and you kicked me out and didn’t bother to look for me or realize i was missing. mother i spent two years hoping somehow you’d save me but you didn’t. she did.” she pointed at me. “and now i’ve come home and the first thing you did was tell me to get lost.” she wiped her face. “but now it’s my turn. my turn to tell you that i never want to see you again. you kicked your only child out for no reason, and now your only child doesn’t want to see you.”  
she turned to me. “we can go now rose.”   
i smiled to myself but took her hand as she pulled me away from the house leaving her bewildered parents calling out after her. but she didn’t even acknowledge it.  
we walked together but we didn’t know where we were going.  
i was worried about her but i wanted to ask how she was doing even though i knew it was a dumb question.  
luckily i didn’t even have to say anything.  
“i did the right thing.” she whispered after a whole of aimless walking. “i spent so long hoping they’d save me. but they- didn’t even care. you saved me.”  
she paused walking and turned to me.   
“you’re the person whose been showing up in my dreams. my savior.”  
i wished she would  
stop calling me her savior. “it was nothing.” i said quietly.  
“it wasn’t though.” she said tears streaming down her face. “it was everything to me. you saved my life.” then she did something that i knew she would, just not that soon. she kissed me. grabbed my face and full on kissed me. of course years were still streaming down her face which made it kind of awkward but i was crying too. when she finally pulled away after ruffling up my hair, she said. “that was nice.”  
i wiped my own tears away and then hers. “yes. it was.” i whispered.  
i kind of wanted to kiss her again but i resisted the urge. i knew hook was right. emotionally, this girl was where i was a year ago, and a year ago i would not have been stable enough to start anything with anyone. i needed a friend to be there for me, to take care of me. and that’s what sirius had been. plus it didn’t hurt that he basically knew what i had been through.   
i knew i couldn’t be to aliyah what i wanted to be. i wanted to be with her, the second i saw her on the ship i knew that. but i couldn’t. not then at least.  
“i’m sorry.” she said pulling away from me and reading me. “did you not want me to do that?”  
“it’s not that.” i said. “look, aliyah. i want you, more than just as a friend. but you spent two years on that island. believe me, i know how hard that must have been.”  
this time she stepped back from me.  
“you do? how can you?”   
i sighed unsure whether or not to tell her about the trunk. i didn’t really want to bring it up because i didn’t want to remember it either.   
“aliyah, it’s complicated but i know what you’re going through.”  
“really? you were forced to marry a man who, raped you over and over again and forced you to have a child?” she whispered.  
i looked away.  
“you didn’t need to tell me that.”  
“no, but you already knew didn’t you?” she asked. “that’s why you were there in the first place.”  
i sighed again. “a couple of years ago, i was held in a chest for a whole year by an insane man.” i whispered unsure of why i was bringing this up after i had already decided not to say anything.   
she looked sad. “i’m sorry.”  
“no, i’m not telling you so we feel sorry for each other. but”  
“we need each other then.” she said.  
“wait, you have a child then?” i asked suddenly comprehending what she said.  
she shook her head. “i was 15, i kept losing them so my “husband” locked me away and took another wife. i never say him again, and no one ever touched me again.”  
“so they’ve left you alone for a year?” i asked because i didn’t think they would actually be gentle enough to not force someone over and over again no matter what they had been through.  
she shrugged. “they honestly left all of us alone. not all of them men were ‘horrible’ just in the beginning. they let us raise our sons until they turned twelve, and they left our daughters alone until they were 16.”   
i nodded. she had went through so much, but from what i was hearing, it had been a year. did that mean she was ok? she was still stuck with abusive parents and the memories of being stuck captive on an island for two years.  
“are you doing the math as to the how emotionally stable i am?” she asked quietly and i looked at her suddenly.   
“why would you say that?”  
“because i kissed you. i wouldn’t have done that if i wasn’t ready. besides. you’re so, different.”  
i tucked a piece of her hair behind her eat which cleared up her face.  
“aliyah. it’s been a year for me too, but i wouldn’t even be where i am if i didn’t have a man named sirius. he really helped me and now he’s dead, recently actually, but i’m fine. i miss him, but based on what happened last year, i’m fine. i just want to make sure you are too because believe me, i don’t want to hurt you.”  
she stepped closer to me. “i don’t think you can.” she said quietly. “believe me, i know real hurt and i don’t think anyone can do that me again. especially you.”  
i smiled but all i wanted to do was kiss her again. i knew it was probably wrong, but she was as old as me which means that she must have known what she was doing.  
“we can take it slow.” i said cupping her face with my right hand. she pressed her face against my hand and then grabbed me and pulled me into another kiss.   
this time, it lasted longer because i wasn’t willing to pull away either.   
“hmm.” i cleared my throat after pulling out trying so hard not to blush. “well i still, have a few days before my friends are expecting me at their house.”  
her face fell. “your friends?” she whispered.  
“yeah you’ll love them.” i said without thinking. obviously i was planning to take her with me. i didn’t think the weasleys would mind, after all taking in strays was their specialty. first harry, then me, now they’d take in aiyah too. i was sure of it. she could share my room, even my bed if it got to that. i smiled at the thought.  
“they’d like me?” she asked.  
i nudged her gently with my shoulder. “why wouldn’t they.” i smiled. “i do.”   
“no, i mean, you’re taking me with you?”  
“well. where else would we go?” i asked.  
“we?”   
“i mean, unless you don’t want to. you can always get to live with the rest of the women who left the island too. it’s totally up to you.” i held her hands in mine and we looked into each other’s eyes before she started a light laugh. the sound was beautiful to here and even more beautiful to watch.  
“i’ve never had anyone do this for me before.” she said before she kissed me on the cheek.  
“what!” i laughed too because her laugh was contagious.  
“i can’t wait to meet your friends.” she said and i hugged her.  
“we still have a few days left though?” she asked.  
i don’t know why this brought me back to reality and reminded me of something that i was forgetting for so long.   
“wait, aliyah, there’s something i need to tell you.” i said quickly sobering up.  
she stopped laughing too.  
“what?” she asked seriously.  
i cleared my throat again. i couldn’t believe i had to tell her this minutes after i was finally truly happy again. i didn’t think i would be able to let anyone touch me, but she had and i didn’t even flinch. it was so different to when anyone else had come near me. sirius, even loki. but i knew i couldn’t let myself fall into her because i knew my future. and it was fair to her to lie.  
“i only have until i turn 17.” i said amd her eyes widened  
“oh gods are you dying?”  
“what? no!” i realized what i had said and what it sounded like. “no.” she stared at me but didn’t interrupt as i took a deep breathe.   
“before i was even born, there was a pact created between my father and a man named Loki.” i said shakily. “basically, when i turn 17, i have to go live with him. on asgard.” i added.  
aliyah stared at me because she did not know what to say.   
“you only have until you’re 17.” she said quietly but it sounded like she was trying to convince herself. “can you get out of it?”  
i shook my head. “even if i want to let my father die. i couldn’t get out of this.” i whispered.  
“and you don’t want to let him die.” she assumed.  
i shrugged. “actually, my dad might actually be worse than yours.” i said but sort of as a joke. they were both bad, just in their own ways.   
she nodded again but tears formed in her eyes. then she grabbed me and pulled me into a deep hug while caressing my hair.   
“i’m sorry.” she said “i know what that feels like, and no one deserves that.”   
at first i didn’t know what she was talking about, and then i realized she probably meant to the captivity thing.  
“no, it’s not that bad.” i said holding her back.  
“i’ve met loki. he’s nice. i just. needed to tel you because it’s not fair of me to lead you into this especially when i need to leave in 7 months.   
“7 months isn’t nearly enough with you.” she whispered. “but it’s better than nothing.”  
i still had no idea what i wanted to do next but i didnt want her to stop holding me. suddenly i could feel the fill weight of having to leave crushing down on me. i didnt want to leave for the first time since i realized i would have to leave sirius. and now even the sirius obstacle was gone. but for the first time, i hated loki for what he was doing to me.   
i started to cry right there in her arms but she just held me and didn’t let me fall.   
“it’ll be ok.” she whispered over and over again, but even i, who had the ability to sort of tell the future. couldn’t be sure of that, so how could she?  
when she finally pulled me out of the huh, she said. “we have all summer. where do you want to go?”  
“all summer?” i asked. she hesitated. “i’m 16, and i barely have an education. i don’t have magic like you so i don’t know what i’m going to do when you leave.”  
i paused. i hadn’t considered that i couldn’t take her to hogwarts. and she was right, she needed an education. i considered maybe dropping out of hogwarts but i knew i couldn’t. i needed my friends, at least until i couldn’t see them anymore.   
she nodded but if she had any more concerned she didn’t bring them up.   
“well there’s a lot i missed.” she whispered.   
“and you’re the one with the traveling ability.”  
i smiled. she was right, i could take her anywhere and there was no point worrying about the future when there was a perfectly good summer waiting for us. i even wondered if ron, harry and hermione would want to come with us.   
i grabbed her hand. “what do you say we go see the world wonders?” i asked.  
“world wonders?”  
“well, there’s nothing really wonderful about humans, but nature. that’s a whole other story.”  
she laughed. “you know, i have to agree.”  
we spent the next few days just traveling. every time we ended up somewhere i picked up a brochure and selected a spot. we saw so many places, both natural and man made. we went to butterfly arboretums, planetariums, even museums. it might have been more than a week from how fast time went. i loved spending time with her. every time she laughed i could feel my spirits being lifted. every time her hair hit my face, i could smell her. she had just been using the generic hotel brand that i had but somehow she managed to make it smell so much better. (ok so hogwarts is on the enchanted forest i think and “london” is part of the enchanted forest. but magic works on earth for me and everywhere else because i have the power of the infinity stones and there’s no where it doesn’t work, but when loki dies i choose to forget to protect myself and hylla. not because i wanted to forget loki.)   
it wasn’t enough. even the time we spent going everywhere, it wasn’t enough. i never wanted it to end. i wanted to spend eternity with her but at the same time, i knew this wasn’t sustainable. i mean, we needed a plan. money wasn’t a problem, stability was. what if someone were to find us? me specifically i could protect myself but i couldn’t watch over aliyah every second. and i couldn’t be the reason she got hurt.   
during our seventh nature park, i paused with her at the top of a mountain. it was pretty cold even for june, but we needed to talk.  
“aliyah, i think my friends should be home.” i said holding her hands  
she nodded smiling. “i was going to bring it up but i was worried you didn’t want me meeting them anymore.”  
she had brightened up over the last week. the sad, broken girl had gone and she was replaced by someone more confident. she didn’t flinch when people came near her, even though she never flinched when i touched her, she was more open towards me too. she openly touched me, draped her hand over my shoulders, even wrapped her arms around me from behind and didn’t flinch when i did it to her. i was ok with being touched by her in anyway. i didn’t flinch at her touch either, but i didn’t think i would at anyone else ever again. j was stronger and more in control than i had ever been. even before the chest.   
“why would you think that?” i asked. “my friends are going to love you.”  
she smiled and nudged me with her arm.   
“well then i can’t wait to meet them.”   
i just realized i had said that they would love her but i hadn’t even told her that i loved her. i didn’t, not yet, but i could’ve. i loved her in a way that wasn’t lust. i mean, i wanted to be with her every second of everyday, but a week into our relationship, i wasn’t in love with her. and it wouldn’t have been fair for me to tell her that i loved her. realistically we had maybe two months left together before we absolutely had to go separate ways. i guess i could’ve gone to visit her even through hogwarts, but again, i had to think of what was fair to her. i could feel myself getting lost in her eyes again so i blinked slightly.   
“aliyah, i would love to keep traveling with you.” i started even though she didn’t ask.  
“but?”  
“but, it’s dangerous.” i finished. “i have no shortage of enemies. and my father. might be first on the list.”  
that took her by surprise, not that she didn’t know about abusive fathers, i guess she just didn’t except my own father to come after me.   
“yeah, listen. at one point, i didn’t believe that my father would hurt me. but at this point, i’m just not sure. it’s only been a couple of weeks since i saw him last, but we just, didn’t leave it off on good terms.”  
“worse than me and my father?” she asked quietly.   
“oh much worse.” i matched her tone. i wasn’t sure whether or not to tell her about what he had said about basically raising me to be a weapon but i decided not to. that’s something that i didn’t want to tell anyone. only sirius knew and he was dead. why should i relive that worst moment? especially to this girl i could have had a chance with.   
“it doesn’t really matter.” i said quickly. “just believe me when i say that my father is not someone i can depend on for protection.”  
she nodded but didn’t push the subject any further.  
“should we go meet your friends then?” she prompted quietly.  
“yes.” i smiled and i apparated us both to the Burrow.  
everyone was already at home, it was the middle of the day so ron, harry and ginny were outside playing quidditch. i wondered how long it had been since they had got home. i thought only a day but seeing how they were already playing outside, i wasn’t sure.  
I held aliyahs hand and lead her to the front door. the three siblings hadn’t noticed us yet, not that i expected them to because they were flying high on their brooms.  
“mrs weasley!” i exclaimed as she opened the door. her face immediately lit up when she saw me and pulled me in for a hug.  
“and who is this?” she asked finally pulling me out and looking at aliyah.  
“aliyah.” i introduced. “we met while we were- traveling.” i didn’t know what else to say.  
mrs. weasley smiled at her. “welcome first, my names molly weasley.”  
“hi?! it’s so great to meet you!” aliyah said.  
“oh well the boys and funny are playing quidditch outside, but i can show you to your room.” she said. “and then you can meet them outside.”  
i nodded but i wanted to talk to her alone. i wanted to make sure she was ok with this. i knew how much pressure she was under and if she didn’t want to take care of one other person, i would have to figure out where we were going to go. even though i had no idea. it’s not like we could back to Golds Palace.   
she took us to an empty room upstairs that i had never been in before, i figured it was probably percys room because percy had left last year. fred and george didn’t live at home anymore either and bill and charlie had moved our ages ago.   
“it’s a nice room.” aliyah said looking around at the single bed.  
“we can always duplicate the bed.” mrs weasley said looking around like she didn’t think of it before.  
“don’t worry about it.” i said. “i’ll take care of it.” but i gave a slight wink to aliyah when mrs weasley wasn’t looking.  
“when’s mr weasley coming home?” i asked.  
“well he’s pretty busy at the ministry these days after- well.” she faltered. yeah. i imagined he would be.  
“well you two should go outside. they’ll be happy to see you.” mrs weasley said leading us both downstairs.  
when we walked out, ginny was the first to notice us. she landed and came over to hug me.  
“we were expecting you days ago!” she exclaimed.   
“days?” i asked. “really?”  
“yeah.” ron said landing next to her. “seriously, where have you been?” i looked at aliyah but i didn’t know we had been traveling for a couple of weeks. i figured we were two days late at the most.  
harry looked between us and then shared a look with the other two.  
“no, we’re just kidding.” he said.  
“that was the most /pointless/ practical joke ever.” i said slapping harry on the arm. “seriously.” i looked at ron and ginny. “years of being fred and george’s siblings and that’s the best you could come up with?”   
ron looked down but ginny laughed.   
“yeah we can do better.” she said with a wink which made me nervous.   
“no, that’s ok.” i said quickly smiling. “that was a great joke.”  
aliyah stood there awkwardly before i remembered she was still there.  
“this,” i said pointing to aliyah, “is aliyah, we met while i was traveling and she well, we’re friends now.” they shook her hands and aliyah started talking to them. i wasn’t worried because she was very charming. i figured that was the perfect time to go talk to mrs.weasley.  
“i’ll be right back.” i squeezed aliyahs hand and she nodded. ginny looked between us but didn’t say anything.   
i walked into the house where mrs weasley was wiping her brow over the stove.  
she noticed me and smiled.  
“what’s wrong?” she asked.  
“um. mrs weasley.” i started awkwardly. “i just want to make sure this is ok. aliyah staying here i mean. the last thing i want to do is give you extra work.”  
she smiled like she was touched. “of course it’s fine.” she said. “this house has been emptied than it’s ever been. besides it’s not like she’s going to cause trouble. is she?”  
i shook my head. “i hope not. she’s just been through so much.”  
that made mrs weasley pause.   
“is she. ok?” she asked suddenly like she was unsure of agreeing to take in an emotionally traumatized 16 year old. she knew me so it was fine, but i could tell that she wasn’t sure if she could be responsible for another girl.  
“no, she’s fine. we’ve been together for a while now, and she seems to be getting better.” i said.  
“how long have you actually known her?” she asked quietly. i could tell she was trying to sound casual about it. but at the same time she just wanted to look out for me.  
“um, ten days?” i said. it had literally only been that long but i still found myself attracted to her.   
she nodded. “how are you?” she asked. i was a little surprised bu this sudden change in questioning, but i was glad she wasn’t telling me to be careful around her. i knew she was right but hook had already warned me and i was so tired of people telling me to be careful. they would be absolutely right. i did need to be careful, but i wasn’t 14 anymore, i had more of an ability to take care of myself. whatever was happening between me and aliyah, i didn’t want to involve everyone in it.   
“i’m ok.” i said. “i definitely did not fall apart as much as i thought i would have.”  
then a thought passed through my mind. “hold on, how is harry here? shouldn’t he have gone gone first?”  
mrs weasley nodded. “technically he has to go back, but dumbledore decided it would be better if he wasn’t stuck in that house immediately after what just happened. he’ll probably be going back in a couple of weeks and then come back a couple after that.  
that made sense. i wouldn’t want harry to be alone either but dumbledore didn’t even really care after voldemort came back. why did he suddenly care now? for some reason i thought it had something to with me. maybe he was expecting me to take harry back to the dursley’s? ambit then why hadn’t he told me of the plan? how would i even know if he didn’t tell me about it? maybe dumbledore was waiting until i came back.  
that night, i was proved right. when mr weasley came home for dinner, we had a special guest. dumbledore accompanied him which was actually a huge surprise. mrs weasley invited him in excitedly but he said he couldn’t stay for dinner. he talked to harry aside from everyone else but didn’t talk to me or even ask who aliyah was.   
we all stared at them but especially aliyah.  
“who is that?” she asked in the middle of eating dinner.  
“that, is professor dumbledore.” i said. “headmaster of my school.”  
she nodded but still watched them curiously.  
dumbledore came to the table and gave a curt nod before he dissaparated.  
we all watched harry expectantly to learn what he said.  
“so, dumbledore asked me when i wanted to go back.” harry started. “and he told me i could go back whenever i could. actually ro-“ he looked at me. “i was wondering if you could take me. to the dursley’s.” i nodded.   
“yeah i expected as much.” i said but i was still wondering why dumbledore didn’t speak to me directly. was he mad at me? but i couldn’t see why. or maybe he was regretting telling me what he told harry. but that seemed unlikely.   
“professor dumbledore.” aliyah repeated. “powerful man huh.”  
i looked at her.   
“you could say that.” i said.  
over the next few days my friends liked aliyah just as much as i expected them too. i wrote to hermione and asked if she was planning to come but she said she couldn’t because she wanted to spend as much time as she could with her family. i understood that. after all, that’s why i was even there. to spend as much time as i could with my family. but that included hermione too so i wished she was there.  
around the end of july, harry finally decided that he should just finish his visit and come back before his 16th birthday.  
i had never actually met the dursley’s before and i didn’t know whether i was excited or itching to punch them. all i knew was that that would have been the perfect time to unload something big on them- that was until harry told me not to.  
“it’s not worth it.” harry muttered as he packed a few clothes so he could stay over for a few days. “believe me, i want to let them have it too, but we have bigger problems.”  
i snorted. “bigger than dudley?” i asked.  
harry smiled a little but didn’t exactly laugh. “look it’s fine.” he said resigned. “really. just, pick me up on july 29th. seriously. i cannot stand another birthday with them.”  
i nodded and gave him a slight hug. “of course i will.” i said. “are you sure you don’t want to wait until after your birthday though?”  
harry looked like he was thinking about it for a second but then shook his head and sighed. “no, it’s just a few days.”  
i walked downstairs with him and aliyah met us downstairs. we hadn’t actually told anyone we were dating, even though we were, sort of. it was so easy with her. she was just always there, it was like hanging out with hermione. i could tell ginny knew and maybe even mrs weasley but neither of them said anything. maybe they didn’t want to assume anything, or maybe they just thought it was none of their business. they would have been right but i couldn’t imagine a world where mrs weasley didn’t make this her business. whatever it was i was glad she wasn’t telling me it was a mistake. i still had the device hook gave me but it was locked away in a suitcase. i didn’t need it, but i never forgot it. every night when i went to bed next to her i would lie away for a while thinking about when i would have to leave her. i already knew she wanted to go to school so i would have to find a boarding school for her but i already knew one relatively close to hogwarts. we still hadn’t discussed if she wanted me to visit her though. and i didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. at least not yet.   
i squeezed her hand and gave her a small smile while helping harry with his luggage.  
“you ready?” ron asked him.  
“all of you surrounding me like this makes me feel like i’m leaving for longer than a few days.” harry said. “guys. i’m good. seriously.”  
mrs weasley gave him a hug and said. “well write if you need us.” and harry thanked her.  
i grabbed his hand and appeared us both to the dursley’s doorstep.  
when we rang the doorbell mr dursley opened the door and he looked deeply unhappy.  
“i thought you were coming back this summer.” he muttered.  
“i wonder what gave you that idea.” harry said.  
i smiled looking between them and held out my hand to shake his which he ignored.  
“so harry’s here for just a few days.” i said patting harry on the back.  
“if i hear you’ve done anything to him in that time. i will burn your house down” i was still smiling.  
“yeah? and who are you?” he asked looking at me menacingly.  
“the most powerful sorceress in the universe.” i said without missing a beat.  
that’s when mrs dursley came to the door.  
“vernon?” she asked. “what’s going on?” she noticed us. “oh.”  
“well there’s no need to look so excited.” i said. “listen,”  
“petunia.”  
“right, petunia, harry’s here for a few days, just don’t. do anything to him.”  
harry nodded at me and walked inside. no one helped him with his luggage so i walked right in after them.  
“nice house.” i said looking around. “but if you don’t mind i’m going to help harry with his stuff.”  
“you’re 17?” vernon asked because i had lifted the suitcase without touching it.  
“nope.” i said walking up the stairs.  
“then you’ll be expelled.”  
i shrugged. “perks of being the most powerful sorceress in the universe.” i said.  
harry’s room was a mess. i cleaned it up with a flick of my hand and he muttered a thanks.  
“how did you let it get this bad?” i asked before i cleaned it up.  
he shrugged. “i was going through a think last year.”  
i raised my eyebrows and plopped down on his bed. “right. i remember.”  
he sat down next to me.  
“can i ask you something?” he asked and i nodded.   
“where did you meet aliyah exactly? cause you said you had a plan and then- you just showed up with her.”  
“do you not like her?” i asked concerned.   
“no, we like her. i was just- wondering where you met her.” i wondered if he was wondering or if mrs. weasley was wondering.  
i sighed. “i met him when i was traveling with a pirate.” i said simply. “she needed help so i helped her, and then she just sort of, tagged along. and i started enjoying her company.” harry nodded  
“a pirate? wow you were gone for what? ten days? you were really busy weren’t you?”  
i laughed. “you have no idea.” i said.   
then i squeezed his hand and said goodbye.  
“five days.” he said. “seriously.”  
“i promise.” i said and the left him sitting on his newly made bed on his newly made room. he’d be ok for five days.   
i felt bad leaving him but i had no choice. it was only a few days and he didn’t seem as badly off as he had even last year.  
i showed up in the room where aliyah was waiting for me.  
“how were they?” she asked.  
“oh, very punchable. but i managed to restrain myself. for harry’s sake.” i said.  
she smiled and grabbed my hands. “so i was thinking, harry’s not here either, maybe we should go out. just for a few days?”  
i knew exactly what she meant by “out.”  
“you know what? that’s a great idea.” i said. there was more i wanted to see anyway. we had travelled places over the summer but it wasn’t the same as when it was just me and aliyah.  
“do you want to meet hermione first?” i asked. i kind of missed her. i was going to see her again in a month anyway, but after harry left it felt a little emptier in the house. dropping by to see hermione and then traveling would have been more fun.  
“um you mean your best friend?” she sounded nervous. “yeah, of course i do.”  
i smiled. “i’ll ask if ginny and ron want to come visit her too.” i said. and then added “don’t worry, we’ll drop them off before going off anywhere.”   
i went downstairs to find ginny and ron but i couldn’t find them in the kitchen so i went outside. they weren’t out there either.  
“ginny?” i called. “ron?”   
no answer. i sighed and went back inside. it wasn’t a huge house but i guess they could have just been in their rooms.   
but thats when i saw them with a shadow outside in the front. i didn’t want to interrupt because it looked like they were talking in a very heated way, still, i pushed my way to the front and cracked the door open just a little. it was mrs weasley and dumbledore?  
what was dumbledore doing there?  
that was so weird, he’d never stopped in to make home visits before and harry wasn’t even there. but before i could even hear what was going on, dumbledore dissapparated.   
i moved back from the door quickly because a very stressed looking mrs weasley was coming back to the house.   
“what’s wrong?” aliyah had just come from downstairs and she placed a hand on my shoulder.  
“shh.” i said quickly pulling her back to the staircase.   
“what happened?” she whispered.  
“that’s what i want to find out.” i replied quietly.   
if ron and ginny were in their rooms, i hopes they wouldn’t choose that time to come down and stop mrs weasley from whatever she was going to do next.  
i cornered aliyah against the staircase and wanted to know what she and dumbledore had spoken about so badly that i actually forgot that i could make myself invisible.   
she picked up her wand and created a patronus.  
“dumbledore was here.” she said. and i immediately recognized what she was doing. i knew you could send messages through patronuses and she was probably sending it to mr weasley.   
“what are you two doing?” ginny asked loudly coming down the stairs and i winced. the patronus disappeared and mrs weasley waved her wand over the stove and a wonderful smell started floating around the kitchen.   
“are you two finally going to admit you’re together?” ginny whispered to me as we walked into the kitchen. there was no point in pretending that we were standing there and no point in waiting around for mrs weasley to start sending another message. but there was something going on and i would have to figure it out without literally prying into her memories. if it was something dumbledore didn’t want me to know about, i wasn’t sure even that would have worked anyway.   
actually, ginny had brought up a good point. i guess we weren’t actually purposefully hiding that we were together, it’s just that we hadn’t actually figured out what we were going to do after summer and we didn’t need anything looking over us other than the threat of an imminent end to our relationship come the end of vacation. as much as neither one of us to admit it, this was most likely a summer fling.   
“we haven’t actually talked about it.” i muttered to ginny so that aliyah couldn’t hear me. she looked kind of embarrassed but didn’t say anything else about it.  
“what are you guys up to?” mrs weasley asked in an overly sweet and calm voice.   
i stared at her wondering how i could ask about dumbledore and if she even wanted us to know.   
“so, um, what was happening with the patronus?” i asked casually going over to see what she was cooking.   
“patronus?” she asked in a shrill voice.  
“oh sorry.” i said. “i just saw that you conjured one so i thought i’d ask if everything was ok.” my voice was so casual, i wanted to convey as little as possible. she looked at me intently like she was trying to figure out if i saw her with dumbledore or not but i kept my face as nonchalant as possible.   
she seemed to decide that i didn’t know anything because she finally said “nothing dear. i was just going to ask arthur what was going on in the ministry.”  
i nodded swallowing. she was clearly lying but that’s what made me even more curious about why he was there. i didn’t expect a personal audience with dumbledore or anything, but it was his idea for me to drop harry off at the dursley’s for a few days, why hadn’t he at least included me in the conversation with him? and this new development with mrs weasley. there was something he was hiding, i just wasn’t sure from whom.  
“it smells amazing mom.” ginny bounced. aliyah agreed. “thanks mrs weasley.”   
i helped her lay out the plates on the table with my magic, and then ron came downstairs too and the five of us settled in to eat.  
i cleared my throat. “so, i was thinking that we would go visit hermione.” i said squeezing aliyahs hand under the table. “do you two want to come with us?”  
ginny looked between us. “hermione? why now?”  
i shrugged. “i don’t know if it’s seeing harry all alone in the dursley’s or just, one more month left of vacation but i want to check in to see how she’s doing.”  
“plus, you know. introduce aliyah to her.” ron added in an undertone and ginny glared at him.   
i cleared my throat and looked at her. she nodded. we hadn’t talked about it, but i figured we could tell them that we were together. right? but what if i said it and i was wrong. would that make her less inclined to be with me? granted, this was the girl who had been sleeping in the same bed as me and kissing me goodnight every night for the last two months. i didn’t see how making us official was going to scare her off. but it sure as hell scared me.  
“yeah. we’re together.” i said and i pulled out hands from under the table.  
mrs weasley smiled at us, which i was glad about. i wasn’t sure how she felt about it even though i knew ron and ginny would be fine.   
“i am so happy for you guys.” she said softly. then she put down her spoon. “i think going to see hermione is a great idea.”   
i had a feeling she was just trying to get us out of the house so that she could send whatever message that had to do with dumbledore.   
we finished lunch and then stood up.   
“have fun guys!” mrs weasley said but there was an undertone to her voice. i already figured she was trying to rush us off. but i didn’t know whether or not i should tell the others about what i saw with her and dumbledore. maybe i should tell hermione first and see what she thought, but that would mean that i trusted her more than i trusted ron, ginny, even aliyah. which was only a little true.   
i took us to the grangers doorstep. in the five years that we’d known each other, i actually didn’t know anything about her parents other than that they were dentists. i actually didn’t even know their first names.   
when i knocked on the door, her father (i assumed) answered.   
“hello.” he said kindly.   
“hi.” i shifted awkwardly. we’d actually met once, three years ago at diagon alley but i wasn’t sure if he recognized us or not.   
“rose?” he asked. “ginny? ron? what are you guys doing here?” before we could even answer, he had ushered inside. “hold on let me get hermione. oh she’ll be so pleased you’re here!”  
he went upstairs to find hermione and his wife came out into the hall.  
“hermione never told us you guys were coming.” she said with a warm smile. “i would have made something!”  
“don’t worry about it. mrs granger.” ginny said. but ron looked expectantly at the kitchen.  
“what dyou reckon she would have made?” he whispered.  
i rolled my eyes. “you literally ate five minutes ago.”  
“i know!” he said defensively. “i was just wondering.”  
hermione came down the stairs followed by her father and i ran over to wrap myself around her. then ginny did the same and hermione and ron had an awkward exchange of hello. it took me a second to remember aliyah was even there. seeing hermione again had me unnecessarily happy. i loved how i felt when she was there. she was truly the best friend i’d ever had an i would miss her so much once i had to go to asgard.   
“hermione.” i said pulling aliyah towards me as she shifted nervously. “this is aliyah. my. girlfriend.” i said girlfriend tentatively almost expecting her to pull away immediately but she didn’t. she smiled brightly and pulled hermione into a hug too.   
“it’s so great to meet you.” she said. “my girlfriend has told me so much about you!”  
i couldn’t help but smile even though i tried to stifle it. she had used the word “girlfriend.” and i was the most ecstatic i had been in months. i even almost forgot about all of my problems for a moment.   
“she’s wrote to me about you too!” hermione said finally pulling her out and examining her.  
“we could have waited until diagon alley, but i didn’t want to.” i said.   
and hermione laughed. “yeah, i’m so glad i you guys got here earlier.”   
we spent the evening on her couch and it was so great to see her again, i just wished that harry didn’t have to be on his own during this time. still, i didn’t let that depressing thought get in the way much. i still wanted to talk to hermione alone.  
“hey can i see your room.” i asked her quietly while aliyah and ginny were deep in conversation about something hermione had started talking about.   
she got up from the sofa and i did too. “sure. it’s upstairs.” she obviously didn’t fall for this cover but i needed to talk to her  
“what’s up?” she asked once we were in her room that looked exactly like i expected it to. wall to wall with books with a desk filled with papers, probably hogwarts homework, and a single bed that looked just comfortable enough to sleep on.  
“i saw something weird.” i said not sitting down.  
“define weird.” she said.  
“dumbledore came by. twice and didn’t talk to me either time.”  
she shrugged. “yeah is that weird? he talks to you every time.”  
i sighed. “no. but” i wasn’t sure how to explain this exactly. “he wanted me to drop harry off at the dursley’s and he didn’t even let me in on the plan.” i said. “and then, just before we came here, dumbledore was outside talking to mrs. weasley and she was acting very shifty about it.”  
hermione looked down. “well yeah but mrs weasley always acts shifty when it comes to order business.” she said. “remember last year?”  
i did, i remembered last year very well and how agitated she for every time sirius or anyone brought up order business in front of us kids. but this was different.   
“but, this time, she didn’t even mention that dumbledore was there. she was acting weird like. he didn’t want us to know.”  
“maybe he didn’t.” she said. she was clearly not taking this as seriously as i was, which was understandable. in the five years i’d known her, it was always me and harry coming up with the conspiracy theories while ron stood around and hermione shot us down.   
i was starting to get a little exasperated. hermione was the best friend i ever had, but i don’t know why i thought she would agree with me on this.   
“fine.” i said. “it’s not important. i just want to know why dumbledore is making secret visits to the burrow.”   
she shrugged again. “it’s probably just order business.”  
she could have been right but i don’t know why i just had a feeling it was more than that. but she wouldn’t listen to me anymore  
“so.” she said changing the subject. “aliyah?”  
“yeah she’s been great.” i said without wrapping my mind around the subject change. “seriously. she’s been through so much too and the two of us have just had so much fun this summer. we just really miss you.”  
“yes, i miss you guys too, but my parents. i don’t know when i’ll get this time with them again.”  
“absolutely. i understand.” i said. “but we’ll see you in diagon alley? right?”  
she nodded. “absolutely. we will coordinate.”   
we got up and went back downstairs and too fast it was time for us to leave.   
aliyah and i decided to go off for a few days after dropping ron and ginny off and that’s exactly what we told them.   
actually, ginny was a little too invested in us going off on our own.  
“have fun!” she exclaimed hugging me to see me off. i thanked her and then said goodbye to mr and mrs weasley telling them that i’d be back with harry in a few days.   
mrs weasley seemed relieved that we were going. i couldn’t peg it and i know she would never say it to my face. i wasn’t sure if it was two less people to take care of, or something else.   
should i corner her and ask what dumbledore was doing there? that would just make things worse right? plus hermione was probably right, he was just there for an Order thing. nothing else. in that moment i decided to let it go. there was no point in obsessing over why dumbledore was there. i had a girlfriend and a world to travel and that’s what i was going to do.  
we spent the next day going to places just like we had in the beginning of our relationship.  
on the second day, we ended up on a bridge overlooking a hundred foot drop. i know i had said i wanted to let it go, but standing there on the bridge, it just kept nagging at me.   
“can i ask you something?” i asked holding her hands in mine and facing her.  
she smiled. “of course.”  
“ok this is important and it’s ok if you do, but do you know dumbledore?” the words came tumbling out very choppily.   
she inhaled. “were on this beautiful bridge surrounded by this place and, that’s what you want to ask me?”  
i nodded sheepishly. “i’m sorry.” i said “i tried to forget about it, i did. but that man is up to something and i need to know what.”  
she nodded. “hmmhm and this need comes from needing to control something that you can’t control?”  
“look i don’t need to be analyzed i clearly am not in control of a lot right now. i just. want to know what he has planned for the order.” i sighed and she moved her head to try to get my to remake eye contact. “i need to make sure my friends are safe before i leave.” i said finally.  
“ah so that’s what this is about.” she said knowingly.   
i couldn’t believe i had come to that conclusion even though i had never even thought of it before. ok obviously i had, but that was the reason i was obsessed with dumbledore? i felt like it had to be more than that. but nothing that i could think of at that moment.   
“i don’t know him.” she said quietly. “i’ve never met him before.”  
i nodded. “i didn’t think so.” but now that i had figured out why i was so obsessed with dumbledore, i found it was easier to relax. well about that one thing.   
something else was making me nervous and that’s that i hadn’t heard from loki in months. the last time i’d seen him was the future him and he was giving me my magic back through the infinity stones. infinity stones that he was really vague on how he got them.   
(OK *insert I don’t remember exactly what happened in the last story because I haven’t read that far yet again but I do know that I overheard him in the throne room saying that I was the weapon that would help defeat the army. so I’m not really sure where to go from here like I have a lot of ideas but they’re just not good for being written down)  
“my father might still be after us too.” i added as an afterthought. “that is why we stopped traveling before in the first place.” i paused thinking  
“but he knows for sure i would have been at the burrow so if he wanted to come after me he would have.”   
at that point i was pretty convinced that he would leave me alone, but why i wasn’t sure. i wondered if maybe dumbledore had something to do with it but i really couldn’t start thinking about dumbledore again.  
over the next few days. i didn’t think about rumplestiltskin or loki or dumbledore. i just concentrated on aliyah and being with her. i wasn’t sure if we would ever get time like this again, plus we hadn’t actually talked about what came next and neither of us wanted to bring it up even though it was an ominous threat looming over us.   
when july 30th finally came around, i knew it was time to go pick up harry.   
we apparated right on to the doorstep like last time and i knocked on the door violently.   
“sup guys?” i asked after his uncle opened the door.  
“oh what are you doing back here?” he asked.  
“i’m here for harry.” i said like it was obvious because it was.  
“harry? harry’s gone.”  
“who is it dad?” their son came to the door.  
“oh you’re dudley.” i said.   
he cowered behind his father.   
“what the hell do you mean gone? what did you do with him?”  
vernon kind of looked nervous actually. “look what’s his name. dumble- dumbledore came and picked him up this morning!”  
i stepped closer to him and he stepped further back into his house.  
“i swear if you’re lying to me i will snap your perfectly set to set in two.” i said menacingly.  
“no. i’m serious. he just came over and picked up harry and they left.”  
i sighed acceptingly. “fine.” i said finally stepping back.   
he closed the door quickly and we heard shuffling probably as he was going to complain about me to his wife.  
“what happened?” aliyah asked.  
“i’m not sure.” i said. “he said dumbledore came to pick harry up this morning.”  
“dumbledore?”  
“why wouldn’t he tell me? he asked me to pick up harry.”  
“i thought your issue was that he didn’t ask you.” she said smartly but i ignored her.   
“can i even trust that man?” i muttered. “he could have killed harry and be lying about it.”  
“well it’ll be solved by simply going to the burrow.” she said. “come on.” she was right. she grabbed my hands and i transported us back to the burrow where, harry was waiting outside.  
“hey ro!” he called. “dumbledore picked me up this morning.”  
“yeah clearly.” i said irritated. “why’d you tell me to pick you up then?”  
“i didn’t know he was coming.” harry said.  
“no, you specifically told me that he told you to ask me to drop and pick you up.”  
harry nodded. “well technically, i just assumed that you would be picking me up.” he said sheepishly.  
“seriously?” i asked.  
“i’m sorry. i didn’t know.” he apologized. “are you mad?”  
“no, i’m not mad. it was just weird with the dursley’s.”  
“did they give you any trouble?”  
i kind of laughed. “no. but it was always a pleasure to bully them.”  
“so dumbledore made a house call?” i asked.  
“actually, two house calls.” harry explained. “hold on, i just got here. i want to explain it to all of you together.” we went inside the house.  
“oh you’re back!” mrs weasley exclaimed already holding harry out and examining him.  
“where are ron and ginny?” he asked hugging her back.  
“upstairs but do you want to eat something?”  
“not yet mrs weasley. but thanks.” harry was already bounding up the stairs. i looked at aliyah, gave mrs weasley a sligh hand squeeze and we followed him upstairs. ginny was in her room so we had to knock on her door and pull her out to ron’s.  
then. harry breathlessly explained what exactly happened after dumbledore picked him up.   
“slughorn?” ron asked after he was done. “what kind of name is slughorn?”  
“seriously?” i asked slapping him on the shoulder. “that’s what you got out of this?”  
he shrugged. “well we figured dumbledore would be bringing in a new guy. it’s not really that surprising.”  
“you’re right but this? this was a house call. and he took harry along with him. that must mean something.”  
“are we back at doubting dumbledore?” aliyah asked me. and when they all looked at us, she said “yeah, she’s been a little paranoid about dumbledore actions.”  
i looked at her annoyed. “i’m not paranoid. i trust him. i just don’t know what he’s planning to do and that bothers me.”  
“since when have we ever known anything about that man?” ginny asked casually. “besides, slughorn? i wonder what kind of teacher he’s going to be.” i didn’t want to get into that because aliyah wouldn’t be coming to school with us. so i just sat there holding her hand while ron and ginny talked mostly to each other.   
the next day, fred and george visited for the first time since we’d been there. i was so excited to see them. i wasn’t going to lie i missed them almost as much as i missed hermione. without them around; there was just not that much to laugh about, especially in these days.  
they told us all about the joke shop and how it was thriving but they also said that they couldn’t stay long. still it was nice to see them again.   
i left the room feeling a little empty. i wished they could have stayed and i had absolutely nothing to do with the money even though it was nice having actual wizard money rather than having to make straw into gold like my father.   
i decided to leave them in ron’s room but a few at a time so he’d just think he lost them.   
over the next week, mrs weasley started talking more and more about diagon alley. she was right too. term started in less than a month, and there was still a lot we needed to get even though no one was willing to actually go to diagon alley on their own.   
we decided to go on august 20th, because that would give us sufficient time to pack and if we missed anything we could always go back. ginny and i wrote to hermione asked her if that day was ok and she agreed.   
there was one thing though that was bothering me. in the two months that i had been there, my father hadn’t bothered me but i didn’t expect him to. but neither had loki. it was like he had cut off communication with me completely and it made me really uncomfortable.  
he needed my help, i knew that much, but my magic was back and if he wanted me to destroy the army sooner, why didn’t he just ask?   
i wondered if aliyah was right, if i should just show up and confront him. but it was harder to do it than just think about it simply because i wasn’t sure i wanted to see him right then. everyday i was falling deeper and deeper in love with aliyah and i couldn’t stand that she would be ripped from me, or rather i would be ripped from her, on my 17th birthday.   
but eventually, my nervousness was growing more and more and a few days before we were set to go to diagon alley, i knew i didn’t have a choice. i wouldn’t be able to sleep if i didn’t know what loki was up to. ginny may have been right, we never knew what dumbledore was up to, but loki. he didn’t get to do this. he didn’t get to drop our of my life completely like our lives weren’t connected.   
i figured i should tell aliyah before going though just in case.  
so that night when we were getting ready for bed, i said   
“hey, i was thinking.” i said pulling the covers back in the orange light of the room, she paused and looked at me.   
“i should go see loki right?”  
she resumed what she was doing which was moisturizing, we were like an old married couple already, sleeping in the same bed after our nightly routine.   
“are you asking me or are you telling me that you’re planning to?”  
“it’s not like i /want/ to, i just need to know   
what’s happening. he hasn’t said anything to me in months.”  
she nodded. “ok then.”  
i couldn’t tell if she was mad or not but she didn’t sound like she was jumping at me voluntarily reaching out to loki.  
“ok, you’re mad at me.” i sighed.   
she looked at me like i was crazy. “what gives you that idea?” she asked. “i’m not mad. i trust your judgement.”  
“which is why you brought up me being paranoid about dumbledore in front of my friends?”  
she stared. “that was like two weeks ago, you’re still mad about that?”  
“no, i’m not mad! it just doesn’t seem like you trust me. that’s all.”  
“i do trust you. i just think that you have some trust issues that’s all.” she said it so casually.  
i stopped. what made her think that? had i acted that way towards her? i had basically accused her of knowing dumbledore a couple of weeks ago but even that was sort of just a general question. what if she was right though? i mean i had a good excuse for having trust issues. especially when it came to how dumbledore handled things, but that’s not what was going on? was it?  
“i have trust issues.” i repeated.  
“look i didn’t mean anything by it. it’s not like you don’t have the right to. but loki? if he wanted to see you he would have come down.”   
i nodded and was silent for a second.   
“so i shouldn’t go make sure he’s ok?”  
“it’s not your responsibility.” she shrugged.  
i guess she was right. but still, what if he was in trouble? what if that was the reason he didn’t reach out? again, she was right, it wasn’t my responsibility, but what would happen if he died in the next few months? would i die too or would the bond just be broken? i hadn’t actually thought about it because no matter how much i wanted to be free, i wouldn’t wish someone else to die.   
i let it go that night but i couldn’t sleep for hours. i tried to move as little as possible because i didn’t want to disturb aliyah but my mind just went to some weird places, most of them involving loki dying and it being my fault because i got to him too late.   
i couldn’t leave her side, she’d notice, but i could have astral projected. the same way i had done before when i took the sleeping potion and slept so deeply i had met him.   
i didn’t know if i could do it without the potion even with my magic but i guess i had to try.  
before i fell asleep, i put a spell on myself to sleep deeply and concentrated on loki’s whereabouts.   
as soon as i fell asleep i was somewhere else.   
i looked around to see where i was but the setting was unfamiliar. i was in a room as big a throne room but it was closed off. the walls were deep crimson and there’s was a huge gold table in the middle surrounded by chairs.   
i saw a shadow sitting on one of the chairs, a familiar shadow, with his head in his hands and elbows resting on the table.  
i stood around for a second contemplating whether or not i should interrupt him. he clearly seemed like he was deep in thought about something.   
i cleared my throat slightly and his head jumped out of his hands.  
“how long have you been standing there?” he demanded.  
“just for a second.” i shrugged. “but still, you have a lot of guts yelling at me when you’re the one who has been missing in action for months.”  
“months? what are you talking about.” i walked up next to him. “you’re joking right? it’s been months since you’ve been to see me! i thought you were hurt. or worse!”  
“you cared about me?” he asked mockingly.  
“don’t flatter yourself.” i muttered. “i was just worried about something happening to you because i’m not sure how it would affect me.”  
“uh huh. anyway, i didn’t mean for it to be months, it’s only been a couple of weeks for me.”  
“a couple of weeks?” i asked. “how is that possible. the last time i saw you was when i took too much sleeping potion back in april. it’s almost september.”  
he nodded. “one day for me is a week for you. so like i said, a couple of weeks.”  
“fine.” i sighed. “like i said i just wanted to make sure you were you know, alive.”  
he looked down but something was off. even when i came in he looked sad, or maybe even scared.   
i softly walked closer to him and conjured a chair.  
“ok, what’s wrong?” i asked softly.   
“why do you think somethings wrong.”  
i shrugged. “aren’t you in the middle of a war?”  
he looked at me. “fine. i thought, we thought, we’d have months, but the truth is. we at this moment, i don’t think we even have days.”  
i closed my eyes. the conversation we had last stood vividly in my head. “oh.” i was the secret weapon. i was who would save asgard.   
“why didn’t you tell me?” i asked quietly.  
he shook his head. “it’s not your responsibility.” he said quietly.  
“loki, please. i’m supposed to help asgard, you’ve already told me as much. why wouldn’t you tell me before?”  
“i didn’t know we had so little time left.” he said.  
“well i can help you now.” i said.  
loki shook his head slightly. “i can’t ask you to do that yet.”  
“loki.” i paused. “is there something you’re not telling me?”  
“like what?”   
i shrugged. “like, i’m supposed to die.”  
“supposed to?” he asked. “no. but no one knows “supposed to”.”  
“well thanks for clearing that up.” i said fakely.  
“you didn’t ask me.” i said quietly after a minute.  
“what?”  
“if i would.”  
loki stared at me. “i don’t want you to.”  
he said, but that’s not what i had said.   
“i can help you now.” i put my hand on his.   
“let me help asgard now.”  
he raised and eyebrow. “what if, something happens?” he sounded scared.  
“what could happen?” i asked with fake confidence. “i’m the most powerful sorceress in the universe.”  
but before he could say anything else. i was being shaken awake.  
aliyah looked at me curiously when i woke up and sat up. i would have to go to asgard but if if what he said was true and a day there was a week here, would i have a little bit of buffer time? i didn’t want to miss anything here and i knew i wouldn’t miss anything there. maybe i could wait until everyone went to school? yes, or at least, diagon alley. i really wanted to see fred and george’s joke shop. and it would be hours for them right?


	2. Chapter 2

we left to diagon alley, and i tried my best to put loki out of my head. i just needed one more week. that was barely one day on asgard. they’d be fine for one more day without me. right now, i wanted to be with aliyah and yeah i knew that wanted to be with her was so much more selfish than needing to be on asgard. but it was just one more day.  
that morning i was quiet but only aliyah noticed and she didn’t say anything to me.  
i took us to diagon alley, it’s not like it was hard. transportation wasn’t exactly apparition so it was perfectly legal for ron harry and hermione to do it. our first stop, even though all of it wanted to be the weasleys joke shop, then the cauldron shop, then the book store.   
we finally got to the robe store and aliyah was so excited to see everything. honestly, i knew how she felt because that’s how i had seen diagon alley on my first day.   
unfortunately everything good had to come to an end since that’s when we ran into draco and his mother.   
“oh look who they let in here.” i heard draco sneer when we walked through the door.   
we found them trying on robes in the middle of the store.   
“hi, you’re looking good mrs malfoy.” i said. “for someone’s whose husband is in azkaban for being a death eater.”  
she pulled out her wand quickly but i just examined my nails.   
“is that really a good idea?” i whispered menacingly. i helped her lower her wand and she couldn’t control herself.  
“we’re not here to pick a fight with you. we just want to shop.”  
but they had already packed up their stuff.   
“we’re not shopping here.” she sneered.   
i hadn’t wanted to do that. i kind of wanted to stay on dracos good side but she pulled out her want first. maybe i shouldn’t have said what i said but i couldn’t resist.   
i pulled on a pair of robes and modeled them for aliyah.   
“i can’t believe i’m going to miss all this.” she whispered smiling.   
i smiled too. “you don’t have to you know?” i said. “we don’t have to break up.”  
“we don’t have to talk about this now.” she said quickly.   
i sighed and pulled away.   
“you’re right.”  
“did something happen last night?” she asked.   
“what do you mean?”  
she shrugged. “i just mean- you’ve been weird today.”  
i stared at her. “how could you possibly know that?”  
“so something did happen.!” she paused. “was- it loki? did you go see him?” she whispered.  
i closed my eyes. “i just wanted to see if he was alive.” i whispered.  
ron, harry and hermione were looking at robes but they stayed a bit away from us. i guess they could sense some kind of tension and didn’t want to come by and make it worse.  
“is he?”  
i nodded. “but asgard’s in danger.”  
“asgard’s in danger?” she repeated.  
“you don’t need to worry about this.” i said reaching out for hand but she pulled away.  
“rose. i don’t think it’s a good idea. to, continue seeing each other. after this break.”  
she said.  
this time it was my turn to say “we don’t need to do this here.”  
but she shook her head.  
“no, what you said, you’re leaving, and loki.-“  
“doesn’t have anything to do with us.” i finished but she shook her head again.   
“but he has everything to do with us.” she whispered. “he’s the reason, we need to break up.”  
“at the end of the week?”  
she shook her head. “there’s something i didn’t tell you.” she said and my stomach dropped. “i got a letter to my parents a few days ago. i wasn’t sure how to react so i didn’t tell anyone. they- asked me to come back home for a few days before i went to school.”  
i stared at her. i couldn’t believe she hadn’t told me. i told her everything. well, i guess i hadn’t told her about me being the secret weapon yet. but that didn’t matter to our relationship. this though, did.  
“so are you going to go home?” i asked quietly not knowing what else to say.  
“i wasn’t going to.” she said. “but now. you’re leaving anyway-and ro- i don’t have anyone else.”  
i stopped dead. i hadn’t even considered that she didn’t have anyone elseZ i figured that once she went to school, she would have made friends, but if her parents wanted her back in their lives, it wasn’t fair of me to stop her.  
“ok.” i whispered finally.   
“ok?”  
“i’ll take you home today. if that’s what you want.”  
she nodded. “what i /want/ is more time. with you. but that’s not going to happen.”  
i shook my head and wiped away a tear.   
“no, it’s not is it?” i asked.  
realistically i knew she was right. realistically. ending this now would be the best case scenario for both of us.   
“ok.then one last day?” i asked.  
but she shook her head. “i can’t, it’s too painful.”  
i closed my eyes again. “so now? this is it?”  
“i think it would just be best if this was a-clean break.” she said.  
i nodded. “i’ll take you home.”  
“rose.” she paused. “i’m sorry. i really care about you- but.”  
“i know.” i nodded. and then took her hand and disappeared right in the middle of the shop.   
we ended up on her doorstep.  
“do you want me to come in with you?” i asked. “make sure they’re ok?”  
but she shook her head. “you should get back to your friends.”  
i could tell she was trying not to cry and i was too so i didn’t push it.   
“wait, rose.” she stopped me just i was turning to go back to the robe shop.  
i turned around and she grabbed my hand and kissed me. one last kiss, containing all the hundreds of ones that we were going to lose. a deep passionate one that ended up taking my breath away. still i didn’t pull out until i tasted salt water in my mouth. i wasn’t sure whose it was, probably both of ours. finally though, the door opened and she pulled out.   
her parents stared at us but didn’t say anything.  
“aliyah.” her dad said. “you came.”  
she pulled me out and said, “goodbye rose. and thank you. for everything. seriously.”  
i nodded. “goodbye.” i said. but she had already gone inside and i was left staring at her house.   
i finally turned to leave because there was no point in standing around.   
i turned back up at the robe shop and luckily ron, harry and hermione were still there.  
“what happened?” hermione came rushing up to me.   
“aliyah and i broke up.” i whispered unwilling to talk about this anymore.  
hermione hugged me, and i let myself hug her back.  
“we should go to the joke shop.” i said. “i want to see how they’re doing.”  
“you don’t want to talk?” hermione asked gingerly but i shook my head.   
“please, i think all knew this is how it was going to end. plus. i have to tell you guys something anyway.”  
on the way to the joke shop, i told them all about how asgard was in danger and how i would have to go for a couple of days to help them but how that would be a couple of weeks here. still, i told them that i wasn’t going until the term started because that was just a day for asgard and they’d be fine for a day.   
ron and hermione looked horror struck.   
“are you sure you’re ready to take on that responsibility?” hermione asked.   
“i don’t think i have a choice.” i said quietly. “i’m asgard’s secret weapon. loki told me as much the third time we met.”  
luckily by that time we’d gotten to the joke shop so that’s where the conversation ended.  
“we need to talk more about this.” hermione whispered.  
“there’s nothing to talk about.” i said quietly. “believe me, i don’t like this either, but i need to help them. i think i can do it.”  
inside the joke shop, there was more than i could have ever even imagined but the most in my face thing was a huge statue of a guy who looked vaguely like fred and george taking off his top hat.   
“top of the, well, evening to you!” fred said as he and george showed up on either side of me and harry.   
“hey!” i said jumping a little. mrs, mr weasley and ginny had just walked into the shop too.  
“great shop you’ve got here.” ron said awestruck.  
“thanks little brother.” george said. “blimey hermione, what happened to your eye?” i looked at her as her hand went up to her face instinctively. “on of your inventions punched me.” she said.  
“oh well that’s no good.” fred said. “hold on, we’ll get you some cream for that.” fred said sheepishly.   
“come with us.” fred said to me and i followed them into the back room while my friends perused the shop.  
“here.” i stood back as fred gave something to george. “for hermione.” they shared a look before george walked out to find her.  
“what?” i asked with a small smile.   
“here.” he held out another bag for me.   
i took it tentatively because i didn’t know what could be in it.  
“what is this?” i asked before opening it because i didn’t want something bursting in my face.   
“well, you’re an investor, aren’t you?” he said. “it’s yours.”  
i held out the bag again. “you know i was didn’t meant it when i wanted any of the profit.” i said.   
but fred shook his head. “you’re an investor. not a bottom less fund.”  
“you know, i would prefer seeing you more often over this.” i rattled the bag.   
“you know as much as i would love that, we’re pretty busy here.”  
“and i’m really proud and happy for you.” i looked around at everything on the table   
“are these some of your new inventions?”  
fred nodded as i walked over to the table, placed the bag down and picked up a small glass of what looked like water.  
“what is this?”  
“invisiwater.” he said.  
“but i can see it.”  
fred gave a small laugh. “yeah we’re still working on the title, but it’ll make you tune out of class for an hour and it looks and smells exactly like water so no one will suspect.”  
“right.” i placed the glass down again. “do you think, i could try bewitching something?”  
fred looked at me curiously. “i didn’t know you would be interested in that.”  
“what? helping you create all these cool products? no, why would i ever be interested in that?”  
fred smirked a little but held out a pill. “here, we’re trying to make this into a pimple vanisher.”  
“seriously?” i asked looking at it a little disappointedly.   
“why?”  
“i don’t know i thought you’d give me something more exciting to do.” i shrugged.   
“wow, well now that you’ve said that. i feel obligated to give you something else.” he put the pill down and picked up a box, inside was a small humanoid looking thing but it wasn’t alive.  
“a prank box.”  
“aren’t they all prank boxes?”  
he ignored that.  
“we enchant this guy and whenever a student opens the box, he runs out and causes a distraction in class. we only recommend this in extreme cases though.”  
“ah yes, if there is another professor like umbridge.”  
he shook his head. “ok you do not know the half of it with umbridge.”  
i laughed and took the box. “enchant him to come to life when the box is opened.” i saw closing my eyes and concentrating. i could feel a little whirring so i shut the box and put it down next to the bag of galleons.   
“should i open it?” fred asked.   
“don’t ask me. i’m not the expert, but he’s supposed to be distracting so it’s not my fault if he does something.” i said defensively   
“i should probably lock the door then.” fred said pointing his wand at the door.  
then he opened the box. the little man wizzed out and started zooming all over the room, knocking down books and papers everywhere.  
“well you did it properly.” fred said as i winced as a book shelf fell.  
but i came to my senses and managed to stop it. then i put everything back.   
“if you ever want a job here.” fred said staring at the man in the box who had looked like he fell asleep.  
i smiled. then we were left staring at each other in the office filled with soft orange light. i’d never actually noticed fred’s eyes before, or his jumper. he and george had always just sort of been there. i had never even thought about getting close to him, not until that moment.   
there were so many thoughts in my mind at that moment but the most overwhelming one was how soft his lips looked.  
this was terrible timing but i missed aliyah so much. maybe it would be ok if i made a terrible decision? right? i knew there was so much to think about, but thinking, well that would get me nowhere. so without thinking about it, before either of us could move away from each other. i kissed him.  
at first it was light, it felt almost wrong, so i pulled away.  
he stared at me for a second and i could feel myself turning red. “i’m. sorry.” i said not knowing what else to say.  
but before i could walk away, he had grabbed me again and kissed me properly this time. i let myself fall into him. months of being with aliyah was forgotten in just a second.   
i wrapped one hand around his hair and the other around his waist and his hands grabbed my hips.   
when he finally pulled away, i almost couldn’t stand the thought of what i’d done.  
“wow we just have.”  
“amazing chemistry.” he said.  
“terrible timing.” i finished.   
he didn’t say anything. “hold on, what about aliyah?”  
i swallowed. “we broke up.” i said.  
“i’m sorry.”  
“no, it’s better this way.” i said. “but fred, i’m sorry i kissed you.”  
“don’t be. that was. really something.” he said amazed.  
but i shook my head. “believe me, that was. one of the best kisses i’ve had, but i was serious about this probably being the worst timing ever.”  
“it’s always about the timing isn’t it?” he asked a little sadly.   
“look, fred, there’s no way you aren’t aware that i have to go with loki on my 17th birthday.”  
he nodded in an interrupting way, “-which is still five months away.” he said. “a lot can happen in five months.”  
i smiled. he was right, but that didn’t change the fact that aliyah and i had literally /just/ broke up. i wasn’t ready for this yet.  
“i just need some time.” i whispered.  
fred nodded. “hey. you know where to find me.”  
the door knob rattled and fred unlocked it quickly.  
“what were you two doing that you had to lock the door for?” george asked walking in.  
“she figured out a way to perfect the nuisance man.” fred said. “we locked the door to make sure that he didn’t get out.”  
“you figured out the man issue?” george asked. “we’ve been working on that for weeks.”  
i smiled. “guess it helps when you have sorcery.” i muttered.  
“anyway, everyone’s waiting for you two.” george said.   
when we walked out, hermione’s face had cleared.   
“you look good.” i said. and she smiled.  
“so what were you two doing?”  
“he gave me my investor money.” i muttered.  
“you’re not holding anything.”  
my mind was so far away though. i couldn’t believe i had kissed fred. and even more, i couldn’t believe that i had liked it. i had had a crush on him in my first year but he’d never looked at me twice or anything more than a friend so i got over him. besides it wasn’t a real crush, it was more of an admiration because of his sense of humor and wits.   
“hermione we need to talk.” i whispered to her. and she nodded. i could tell she knew at least something about what had just happened.   
but we didn’t have time to talk about it there because we noticed draco shuffling outside by himself.   
“where do you reckon he’s going?” harry whispered.  
“we should follow him.” i said recklessly.   
“are you sure?” hermione started but i was already pulling harry out of the shop.  
“come on. we’re not losing him. not after he had to lose his mother to go wherever he’s going. plus, you guys are with me, you’ll be fine.”  
“that’s not-“ hermione tried to stop me but i was already out the door of the joke shop. we stayed considerably behind draco, enough so that we wouldn’t loose him but also so that he wouldn’t see us.  
we ended up at knockturn alley, a place called borgin and burke’s.  
“i’ve been here before.” harry whispered as i opened a line of audio between us and draco.  
“absolutely not. how ridiculous would i look carrying that with me down the street?” draco said.   
“sir?”  
“just, keep it here.” draco continued. “one of my friends will be here later to pick it up.  
we assumed borgin had nodded but it was difficult to tell from the stained glass.  
“what do you reckon he’s buying?” ron asked.  
“here? nothing good.” harry replied.  
draco left the shop and i pulled us to the side.   
“hermione?” i asked because she had a very hermione plan look in her eyes.  
before asking us anything, she went into the shop and was asking about a gift for draco. i had to hand it to that girl, she was smart and very good at lying. unfortunately he didn’t tell her anything but was kicking her out of the store.  
“hold on.” i said and i walked in. i wasn’t going to be dumb enough to ask about anything, but if i could just look around, i could do research about some of these items and maybe even figure out what he wanted. but with all the items in there, hermione had already asked about this beautiful blue and black necklace. amd nothing else caught my eye as making him look ridiculous carrying it down the street.   
i walked out with a curt nod as borgin eyed me with menace.  
“did you get anything?” harry asked.  
i shook my head. “hermione already asked about the necklace. but i guess he could have looked ridiculous carrying that wardrobe down the street? that’s the only thing in there that he couldn’t have walked out with.”  
“what could malfoy possibly want with a wardrobe?” ron asked. i shrugged.  
“maybe it’s bigger on the inside?”  
we snuck back into the joke shop. and as it was our last stop, i took us home after that.   
everyone was hyped up on our visit to the joke shop but still, i slipped into hermione’s and ginnys room.  
“what’s wrong?” hermione asked making her bed and i sat down on the edge.  
i could talk to ginny too. in fact, i liked talking to ginny too.  
“aliyah broke up with me.” i said quietly. “but weirdly, i’m fine. i knew it was going to happen, i mean. i thought i had another week, but i don’t know if that would have made a difference anyway.” hermione nodded without interrupting.   
“i need to go to asgard to help them defeat an army that i know nothing about, by the way.”  
i sighed. “and, i sort of kissed fred, in their office.” i finished quietly.  
that got the reaction i was expecting. hermione’s mouth fell open and ginny stared at me.  
“you and fred. kissed?” ginny asked.  
i nodded. “it’s not great timing. i know-“  
“no, it’s not.” hermione exclaimed. “rose. i love you but this isn’t, i mean. was it good at least?”  
i stared at the shift. “um, yeah. it was great.” i said. “actually. i didn’t expect it to be so good. that’s why i’m kind of in trouble now.”  
“so you have feelings for him?” ginny confirmed.   
“i can’t.” i said, but the truth was, i did. “this is literally the worst timing ever. and i have to go to asgard.”  
“yeah but not for another few months.” ginny confirmed.  
hermione shook her head though. “no, she’s planning to go now.”  
“well, i was planning to go after term started.” i said. “just not for good. not yet. there is an army, and i. talked to loki last night. i’m not sure they’ll last another three days.”  
“and you’re going to help defeat this army?” ginny asked.   
i nodded. “i mean, i have to try. right?”  
after that, we were all quiet. i kind of didn’t want to sleep by self so hermione moved over in bed and i snuggled in next to her.  
what was i thinking kissing fred? why would i complicate everything. maybe it didn’t need to be complicated though. i mean things with the twins were never really complicated and fred tended to make things easier actually.   
maybe this was something i needed to talk to him about. he was the one who said that he wanted to keep going with me though. maybe he’d be ok with a long distance relationship like the one i wanted to have with aliyah. i could go visit him every night and spend time with him in his joke shop.  
but would that be fair to him? of course not. nothing about this situation was fair to any of us. if it had been, aliyah would have been the one next to me in bed, not hermione.   
the next morning, i woke up to smells of wafting breakfast but i wasn’t really in the mood to eat.   
hermione and ginny knew what was wrong but thankfully they didn’t bring it up in front of ron. i knew ron would just make fun of me.   
when we went back to the room, harry kept trying to bring up draco but my mind was far away, until he said “what if he’s a death eater? what if he took over his fathers spot?”  
that brought me back. i stared at him and hermione immediately shut it down as impossible. but i wasn’t so sure.  
“i think- you could be right.” i whispered.  
all three of them stared at me. even harry.   
“what?” i asked defensively. “you thought of it.”  
“yeah but i didn’t expect you to agree with me.” he said quietly.  
“no, but look, voldemort’s mind isn’t exactly sane. he could just be trying to punish them for lucius’s mistakes at the ministry last june.”  
i guess harry was happy that i was warming up to the idea.”  
“don’t you have other things to worry about?” hermione asked me.  
i shrugged. “i always have things to worry about.”  
“don’t we all.” harry agreed. “but seriously, do we really think /draco/ could be a death eater?”   
i watched him intently.   
“no!” hermione said. i guess she wanted to shut this down before harry became obsessed with the idea. “look. he’s 16, even if voldemort was ok with it, i doubt he could do much from hogwarts.”  
i actually agreed with that, sort of. “come on hermione.” i said. “you and i both know, us out of most people, that there’s a lot that can happen from hogwarts.”  
hermione huffed but that was the end of our “draco could be a death eater conversation.”   
“what about you?” hermione asked.   
“me?” i asked.  
“all you’ve told us is that you have to fight an army on asgard? what army rose? do you know what you’re going to do?”  
i froze. she had a great point, i didn’t know anything about the army that i had to defeat. at first it didn’t seem like i needed to.   
“does it matter?” i whispered. “isn’t the magic enough.”  
“it can be.” hermione said. “but i think we know from experience that it’s easier when you know what you’re getting into.”  
she was right. i actually had no idea what i was getting into. i couldn’t believe loki hadn’t told me anything. to be honest though, he hadn’t asked me to go to asgard yet. i volunteered. and i didn’t want to miss too much so i decided to wait until school actually started. but what if i went back in my sleep? it had been two days which might have just been hours for him.   
“that’s a great point actually.” i said. “i don’t want to go to asgard yet because i’ll be losing days here in just hours, but. i can talk to him in a dream again?”  
“is that a question?” ron asked.  
“no?” i sounded unsure. “just. if i do know what the army is-“  
“we’ll help you determine how to defeat them.” hermione finished.  
i nodded feeling thankful for friends like them.   
in bed, i cast another deep sleep spell on myself. it was just like me to fall asleep rather than deal with problems in real life.  
but this was a real problem.   
i fell asleep and woke up in a room that i had been in once before. i recognized the velvet on the walls and his messy bed as i looked around. Loki was taking a nap so i gently bounced down onto his bed. he jumped up and said “what?!”  
“sorry.” i said quickly. “i didn’t mean to wake you, it’s just. this is important.”  
“wait i just saw you.” he said.  
“yeah but i need more information.” i said lightly. “you haven’t told me anything about this army.”  
“oh i suppose i didn’t.” he said like he didn’t even consider that i would need to know anything.”  
“right, well?”  
“they’re called the doridiums.” he said and i scoffed.  
“sounds like a flower.”  
“believe me, they are neither fragile nor beautiful creatures” he said. “no, quite the opposite. they are vicious. large, creatures. only one weakness because their hides are thicker than rock.”  
“what’s their weakness?”   
“there’s a spot on their forehead, it’s the only thing that you could hit that would kill them.”  
“kill them, is there anyway we could just imprison them?” i asked.  
“not all of them.” he said looking at me weirdly. “you know they’re an army right? rose. do you understand how wars are meant to be fought?”  
“shut up.” i muttered a little angrily. of course i did, i just didn’t want to kill them.  
“that’s just what my father would do.” i said.  
“i’ll be here, tomorrow, maybe the next day. i just have to go to school first.”  
“i’m not even asking you to come yet.” he said. “you can always wait until your birthday.”  
“isn’t that a couple of weeks for you?” i asked. “because last time we talked, you lead me to believe that you may not even have a few days left before asgard falls. unless you’re lying to me about something.   
he raised an eyebrow. “no, i meant it when i said that we’re in danger. it’s just. i hate asking you to leave everyone for the weeks you have left.”  
i nodded. “well, nobility has always been my strength.” i said. “doridiums, one weakness. and no other option but to kill them.” i repeated.   
“well, if you can find another option-“  
“one more thing. i’m not entirely sure how to get here.-“  
“oh, don’t worry. i’ll come get you. just. come back in this form and tell me when you’re ready.” i nodded even though i had no idea how. i supposed the same way he had come to see my father that one time.  
but i wanted to wake up. i could feel myself slipping away from loki and back onto my own bed. it wasn’t even night time yet, but i could smell dinner. i went downstairs to join the rest of the family.   
i was thankful hermione decided to come home with us instead of going with her parents. she figured it was easier to leave with us than having her parents drop her off.  
hermione nodded at me but didn’t bring up what loki could have said. i wanted to talk to them privately, not in front of mrs weasley especially since i didn’t want her to know that i was supposed to fight for asgard.   
after dinner, i went straight up to ron’s room and hermione met us there.  
“so?” she asked.  
“they’re called the doridiums.” i said.  
“i’ve never heard of them.”  
“i didn’t expect you to.” i said. “i’ve never heard of them either.” i told them that loki told me they only had one weakness.  
“he thinks i’m an idiot.” i whispered. “because i don’t want to kill them. i want to somehow end the war without killing an entire army.”  
“is that even possible?” ron asked.   
“that’s what he said!” i exclaimed. “but why is everyone acting like murdering an entire army is the rational reaction?”  
hermione looked down. “maybe because it might be the only option.” she said.  
i sighed. “you too hermione?”  
she shrugged. “i don’t know.”  
“what about voldemort.” i brought up.  
“you mean that i have to kill him?” harry asked.  
“how is that situation any different? you don’t know his weaknesses either.”  
“i think dumbledore will give me more information.” he said  
we all stared at him. “right, i meant to tell you, dumbledore may have mentioned private lessons. over the year.”  
“and you’re just telling this to us now?” ron asked.  
“i should have told you. i guess i sort of forgot.”  
“how could you possibly forget this?” i asked in disbelief.   
“i’m sorry.” he said again. “but don’t worry about this war now. your war is closer.”  
the rest of that week went by so slow but so fast at the same time. hermione and i spent so much time trying to find any books we could but we couldn’t find anything on aliens. i guess humans didn’t really know much about alien life. the only solution i could think of was that my father might have books on them but there was no way i was going back to his place.   
the night before we were supposed to leave to hogwarts, i couldn’t sleep at all.  
i knew it was extremely close to the day i’d have to go to asgard, and i still didn’t have any idea what i was going to do other than just hit them in the middle of their forehead using magic.   
if i had to be honest, i was scared. my only fear was ending up like my father, murderous, our of control. and it really seemed like that’s where i was headed. i didn’t bring it up, no one would understand. they would just say that it wasn’t up to me and that that’s how wars were fought. plus harry had to do the same thing. but for him it was different, he didn’t grow up with rumplestiltskin for a father. he had seen evil sure, but not the depths that i had seen.  
when 9:30 am came, i packed up my bags hastily in seconds. i could have done it before but i didn’t need to.   
i dragged my luggage downstairs to the rest of the weasleys stuff and waited until mr weasley brought the muggle car to the front of the house. there were only five of us so a regular van was enough although i would have been more than willing to take us there like i had to diagon alley.   
at 11 am, we had boarded the train even though i wasn’t really in a beginning of the year mood.   
hermione and ron went off to perform their prefect duties so harry, ginny and i went to find a compartment. luckily, we found neville and luna already sitting in one so we joined them. a few minutes later, a boy came over to pick up ginny and she said goodbye brightly and left with him.  
“what did you do over the summer?” neville asked us and this was eerily like what had happened last year. i almost didn’t want to answer him.   
“we just spent it at the weasleys.” harry said. “what did you do?”  
“nothing. gran disappeared a few times. but this time she told me it was for the order meetings.”  
“what about da?” luna asked. “are we doing that this year?”  
“i don’t think so.” harry said. “i mean last year, we only did that because we didn’t have a good defense against the dark arts teacher.”  
“oh.” luna looked sad. “well those meetings were fun.”  
i smiled sadly at her. “oh luna. what was your favorite part?”  
“it was like. having friends.” she said and my heart dropped.   
“we’re your friends.” i said firmly.  
she smiled.   
a while later, like literally minutes. there was a knock at the compartment door and a second year handed harry and me a parchment.  
“it’s an invitation.” harry said aloud reading the parchment.i scanned the paper too. “slughorn. isn’t he the knew defense against the dark arts professor?” i asked.  
harry nodded. “he’s inviting us to his compartment to meet us. but he’s already met me.”  
“right and i don’t think he’s willing to let go of you easily.” i said.  
“do you think we have to go to this?”  
“harry, i think you should definitely go to this.” i said.   
“please come with me.”  
i smiled. “fine. this time.”   
we said goodbye to luna and neville telling them we’d be back, and headed to slughorns compartment.   
there were a few students already there. and slughorn ushered us inside.   
it didn’t take long to discover why we were all there. all of us had connections to someone famous and powerful.   
when he introduced me as rumplestiltskins daughter i shifted uncomfortably.  
i wondered if i should correct him but i had just had to wipe everyone’s memory of one incident involving me and i didn’t want to cause a scene and have to do that before i even got to school so i just smiled and gave a small wave.   
the meet up felt like it lasted forever but when it finally ended, harry and i ran into ron and hermione in the pathway. they were just finishing up their duties and were coming to find us in our compartment.   
“what was that?” ron asked and harry explained all about how slughorn had invited everyone who had famous connections.   
we were almost at our compartment and neville and luna waved at us from inside when harry stopped. he seemed to have noticed something and whispered “i’ll be right back.” it didn’t take much more than i turn of my head to realize that he was about to follow draco.   
“i’ll come with you.” i whispered and before he could object, i draped the invisibility cloak over him and started following draco to his compartment.  
i threw open the door confidently and draco had just sat down next to his friends.  
“what are you doing here?” he sneered and i shrugged and went to sit next to him.  
“just wanted to see what you were up to.”   
draco and his friends stared at me but i didn’t care. we sat in silence for a minute while i just look around. the train was shaking violently and making a lot of noise and i wondered if i should use my magic to calm it down but realized that maybe i shouldn’t give that up in front of draco.  
i ask draco what’s wrong because he looks agitated even though i feel perfectly comfortable with making everyone else uncomfortable.   
“i don’t know what you think you’re doing.” he whispered, “but you need to go.”  
but his right hand instinctively went to his left sleeve. it was such a minor movement i almost missed it, but i didn’t.   
“so you’re ready for this year?” i asked casually. and draco scoffed.   
“right. this year. that’s what matters.”  
“what do you mean draco?” pansy asked in concern.  
“this place has really gone to the dogs.” he muttered. “but we have more important things to think about than this year.”  
“what are you talking about?” i asked. i mean, i knew what i had to worry about but i wondered what he could have had to do. did this have anything to do with voldemort? i didn’t think harry would be back next year either but draco just blatantly telling me, i didn’t know if that was a good sign.   
“nothing.” he muttered. “can i talk to you.”  
“we’re already talking.” but he had already stood up and grabbed my arm and pulled me away from his friends.  
“what do you think you’re doing?” he sneered.  
“i already told you, just making sure you were ok.”  
“right. first you insult my mother and now you’re here making sure i’m “ok?” “  
i sighed. “i’m sorry i said that in diagon alley but you guys were being unnecessarily mean. besides, draco. i care about you. whether you like it or not. and i’m worried about you.”  
“for the right reasons?”  
“please. you just lost your father-“  
“i didn’t lose him.”  
“ok but he’s in azkaban. that can’t be easy on you. i just want to make sure you’re not going to do anything-“  
“what do you know about me?” he asked. “how are you just standing there asking me if i’m ok, when you know absolutely nothing about me.”  
“maybe that’s the problem.” i whispered. “i don’t know you. last time we had a proper conversation was years ago, and i know a lot has changed since then. but draco. i don’t believe that you’re this person you always put up an act for.”  
i sighed. “draco. i lost my girlfriend too. ok. maybe i understand more than you think.   
he pulled away from me. “i don’t know what you’re up to, but you don’t know me. stay away from me.” he turned around and walked back to his friends leaving me standing at the entrance of his compartment. i sighed and held open the door to make sure harry had enough time to walk out.   
(ok so, technically what happened in the book could happen here and it would make sense because harry would think that draco wouldn’t say anything in front of me. but then, draco wouldn’t trust me but i guess he doesn’t trust me anyway, and so i think what happens in the book happens now.)   
i waited until i almost got back to the compartment before calling our for harry but there was no answer. i sighed in disbelief. i should have made sure harry had left the compartment. i couldn’t even go back now. he’d probably stayed behind to hear what draco would be saying when i wasn’t there because why would he say anything to me?  
i opened the door to my friends and sat down next to neville and luna.  
“where’s harry?” ron asked and i shook my head.   
“he’s an idiot.” i said.   
“please don’t tell me he-“  
i nodded. “yup. he is still in dracos compartment.”  
“draco?” neville asked.  
“yeah. harry’s super worried about him.” i said sarcastically. “seeing as how his father just went to prison and all.”  
harry didn’t show up for the rest of the train ride and he didn’t show up when we got off the train. i decided to go looking for him but i couldn’t as i was ushered off the train by the head boy and girl. luckily i ran into tonks.  
“hey!” i said calling out to her.  
“hey!” she said unenthusiastically.   
“listen. harry went to the slytherins compartment and we haven’t seen him since.” i said.  
“oh i’ll take care of it.” she said and left without another word.  
“she does not look ok.” i whispered to hermione after she left.  
“do you think it’s because sirius died?”  
she shook her head. “i can’t imagine why. they weren’t that close. but maybe she thinks it’s her fault?”  
i scoffed. “yeah. she’s probably the most innocent one out of her, me and harry. so i wonder how she got to that conclusion.”  
harry didn’t show up for the entire feast. he didn’t even show up until we got to the common room.  
“snape wouldn’t let me go to the feast.” he gasped when we finally found him. his shirt was covered in blood.  
“harry.” i said angrily. “why didn’t you leave when i did?”  
“i was hoping he’d say something else.”  
“did he?”   
“no. i don’t know how he figured out i was there though.” he pointed to the blood on his shirt. “luckily tonks was able to fix my nose.”   
“why would you do that?” i asked. “now he’s going to think i was just there to spy on him.”  
“but you were there just to spy on him.” harry pointed out.  
i sighed. “well yeah. but now he’s not going to trust me.”  
“did you think he was going to trust you anyway?”  
good point.   
“anyway, did you see the way he kept pulling at his sleeve? that’s not the first time i noticed it either. even at the robe shop, he helped when she touched him.”  
“shh!” i scolded him.   
“what?”  
“not here harry!” i whispered alarmed. “look i believe you but if it gets back to him that you’re saying this, and even worse, it’s true? just, be careful.”  
“did you know slughorns the potion professor this year?” ron asked harry. “you said that he was the defense against the dark arts professor.”  
harry looked flabbergasted. “i didn’t know!” he exclaimed. “oh gosh does that mean /snape/ is the defense against the dark arts professor? what was dumbledore thinking with that one?”  
for a moment, i almost forgot that i would be going to asgard soon. i was so preoccupied with harry and draco. i didn’t even remember asgard until hermione slapped me on the arm and mentioned it again. i didn’t remember that i wanted to talk to dumbledore either until harry brought him up.   
“oh i have to talk to dumbledore first!” i exclaimed standing up.  
“i’ll see you guys in a bit. maybe.” i said ominously.   
“wait you’re not going to go off without telling us first. are you?” ron asked.  
i smiled. “no, i’ll wait until i see you again.” i said. but i got up and left to find dumbledore. i hoped he would be in his office and it wasn’t hard to open the door without the password. i wondered if he had changed some setting so that i could get in with sorcery.  
“professor dumbledore?” i knocked on his door and he opened it.  
“ah yes, i was expecting you.” he said smartly and i stepped in.  
“professor?”  
“you’re going to asgard. aren’t you?” he asked and i wondered how he knew.  
“sirius told you?” i asked.  
“no.”  
“then?”  
“loki did.” he said. i had no idea he was talking to loki. i didn’t even know he knew loki.   
“sir? you know loki?” i asked surprised.   
“we’ve met once.” he said. “only recently actually. he came asking about you.”  
“me? you talked about me?”  
professor dumbledore smiled slightly. “yes. he came down after sirius’s death. he told me what you were, well are expected to do. he wanted to ask me if there was a prophecy about you.”  
that was so weird because that’s exactly what i wanted to know anyway.  
“sir, i was going to ask you if there was a prophecy about me as well.” i said.  
“there isn’t a prophecy exactly. but the war on asgard, the one against this race, can only be won by someone with no asgard blood.”  
“so i am meant to fight them.” i said.  
“well, perhaps. the universe does work in mysterious ways.”  
i nodded. “sir, i’m going tomorrow. but one day there is a week here.”  
“so you’ll be gone for a couple of weeks at least?” he clarified.  
i nodded. “do you think i can do it?”  
for some reason that was so important for me to know. if professor dumbledore, the most powerful wizard thought i could do it, then i would know i could do it too.   
he smiled knowingly.   
“i don’t think there’s anything you /can’t/ do.” he said lightly. my spirits lifted.  
“thanks. professor. can i ask you something else?”  
he nodded again. “when you came to the burrow to tell harry he had to go back to the dursley’s. you wanted me to drop him off.”  
“why didn’t i tell you directly?” he asked finishing my question.  
“i mean, i know you don’t have to tell me, i was just wondering, since i was part of the plan.”  
dumbledore sighed. “it’s not that i didn’t want to talk to you.” he said. “i just, know aliyah.”  
i stared at him. i knew it! i knew he had to know aliyah. but she didn’t know him so i didn’t know how it could have possibly connected.  
“well, i know of her. she was meant to come to hogwarts.”  
“she’s a witch?” i asked. but in the time we had spent together she had shown no inclination towards magic.  
he shook his head. “no, that’s the thing. she was born as a witch but then. as she grew up, she showed no powers. nothing. something like this has never happened before. i wasn’t sure if i wanted to talk to her. that’s all.”  
“she’s a squib then?” i asked.  
“but that would require her parents to be wizards, but they’re not either. i really don’t know how she got onto the list without showing any kind of powers.”  
“she’s never had any powers all her life?” i asked because i knew one could lose their powers after a traumatic event.  
he shook his head. “she’s never been a witch.”   
i didn’t know what to say. i was honestly glad i was right and that dumbledore was hiding something. not that he wasn’t hiding more, but i knew it had to have something to do with aliyah.   
“you’re going to be ok.” dumbledore said. “you’re coming back to school?”  
i nodded. “at least for as long as i can.”  
i was about to walk out when dumbledore called out one more time. “aliyah can’t know.” he said quietly and i turned.   
i shook my head. “i wasn’t planning to tell her.” i whispered.  
he nodded and the doors closed.  
i wasn’t going to tell her anyway, i meant that. there was no point in making her feel worse, plus she never wanted to see me again.   
by the time i got back to the common room, everyone had gone to bed except my friends which i was glad for. this way, i could go tonight rather than wait until the next morning.  
“you’re going to come back.” hermione said like she was trying to convince herself.  
she hugged me tightly and for a long time and i thought i felt a tear fall onto my shoulder.  
“hey. i’m going to be ok.” i said. “seriously. i’ll be back in a couple of weeks.”  
harry and ron hugged me too and there was so much more i wanted to say to them, but if i did, it would feel like goodbye and this was not goodbye. i’d see them again, for me it would only be a couple of days. i just had to destroy this army. without losing myself. i think that’s what i was most worried about. i couldn’t bare the thought of ending up like my father, using power just because i could. maybe once i was on the battle field, i would be able to come up with a way to defeat them that didn’t end up in genocide. still my priority was asgard. not the doridiums.  
i fell asleep with the same deep sleep spell cast on my and i ended up in loki’s bedroom.  
“you’re ready?” he asked and i nodded a deep pit in my stomach.   
“well, ready. that’s subjective.” i said with a slight smile. “is the battle going on right now?”  
“the battle is always going on.” he said. “thor’s out there right now. i was just waiting for you.”  
how did he know i was going to be here right now? i didn’t even know.   
“it was just lucky timing.” he said reading my expression.   
“right. well. should i wake up there then?”  
loki nodded.  
“just. be quiet ok? i’m in the gryffindor common room.”  
i waited for him to show up, which he did in a bright flash of light that i had to turn away for. at least he was quiet though.  
“are you ready?” he asked quietly.  
“ready is subjective.” i deflected.  
“you still don’t have to do this right now. i know the situation were in, but rose-“  
“stop trying to talk me out of this.” i said annoyed. “i know what you’re asking me to do, and i’m not happy about having to fight a war. but i can do this.”  
loki nodded and held out his hand. when i grabbed it he pulled me in closer and wrapped his hands around my waist. without thinking, i fell into his arms and put my head on his shoulders so his hair was in my face. i could feel his breath on my cheeks but i tried not to concentrate on that.   
“heimdall?” he called and in the same flash of light that had brought him to hogwarts, we were transported to asgard.   
well, technically it was a golden room that looked like a galaxy. there was no one there except who i figured was heimdall standing around a sword.  
“heimdall.” loki gasped. “this is rose.”  
“ah yes.” he said ominously. “welcome to asgard.”  
i looked around catching my breath. under any other circumstances this would have been the most gorgeous view i’d ever seen. we were overlooking a bridge that lead straight to the heart of asgard but there was just space all around us. not even a sky, just. space. i wondered how we were even breathing.   
“where’s the. fighting?” i asked because it seemed so quiet.  
“on the other side.” loki said. “thor’s already there.”  
i nodded swallowing hard. “ok well. lead the way.” i ushered him to lead first so i could follow.   
“it’s nice to meet you heimdall.”  
“i just wish it could have been under different circumstances.” heimdall nodded.   
before loki could even leave the room though, a figure came flying in.  
“loki!” he called landing in front of us.  
“thor.” loki called out. “good you’re here.”  
“thor?” i asked.   
“ah yes, rose. i’m here because i figured it would be easier to take you myself.”  
“right. you can fly.”‘i remembered based on what i had read about him when i was reading about loki too.   
“great i get a free ride from you too?” i asked trying to mask my nervousness.  
thor looked around and then grabbed my hand. it wasn’t like when loki had grabbed me just minutes ago. he was simply just getting me from one place to the other.   
“i’ll be back for you brother.” thor nodded at him and pulled me off the ground.  
with every second that he flew us, my stomach dropped. i couldn’t even appreciate the beauty of flying over asgard. not was not the time for self doubt and i knew that. i was the most powerful sorceress but maybe that could end up being the problem. what if this ended up in a situation where i lost control like my father? seriously though? i had had these thoughts all along and it hadn’t stopped me from agreeing to this. now was a really bad time for all this self doubt.   
when we landed, there was a fight raging all around us, but everything was eerily calm to me. it’s like i could feel every movement that was happening around me. like i could feel every single life form and their essence. thor disappeared from behind me for a couple of moments while i was left to take in the scene. there was so much carnage. so many bodies lay on the ground and almost none of them doridiums. i wanted to cry just looking at the scene. so many asgard soldiers were either injured or dead. if they were injured, i could help them, but if they were dead, i couldn’t do anything about it.   
the doridiums stood at least 15 ft tall, they looked like rhinos made up of rocks. the single horn in the middle of their forehead stood out and i figured that might have been their weak spot.   
i closed my fist slowly feeling any magic coursing through me. how could i handle this? was there a way i could do this without killing all of them?   
but as i felt thor come back next to me with loki, i could feel a couple more asgardian’s fall and i knew that the only way to stop this would be to kill them. dumbledore told me that only one who had no asgard blood could stop this and as far as i knew, that was me.   
“rose-“ i heard loki say through the wind, but i could only barely hear him. i didn’t know what came over me.  
suddenly, i knew what to do. i froze the entire battlefield. they were still conscious, and i knew they could hear me.  
“surrender now, doridiums.” i said quietly but my voice reverberated around the battle field.   
who i assumed was the leader of the group stepped forward because i allowed him to.  
“but why would we do that?” he asked mockingly. “we’re winning.”  
my eyes gleamed. “maybe before, but not anymore.” i said. “surrender and perhaps i’ll let you live.”  
“such a promising promise.” he smiled. and waved his hand which broke the spell. i didn’t know how he did that but maybe i just wasn’t concentrating hard enough.   
and that’s when the army attacked again, this time all at once, to me, it seemed like they all held up their weapons at the same time and started screaming and coming towards us. i pulled the asgard army back quickly all together and put up a barier that stopped them from coming any further. some of the struggled against the barrier and i knew it was only a matter of time until even one of them broke through.   
i knew i had to act fast. i looked around quickly at loki who was looking at me with an eyebrow raised in concern.   
i quickly turned back around and felt them in the tips of my fingers.  
“it’s not the same as my father.” i whispered but i could feel myself ride up in the air and the vibrations in my fingers grew.   
before i knew what i was doing, i was honing on the horn in the middle of all of the doridiums foreheads. it was too easy, all i had to do was concentrate on that spot and i could feel them melting away. literally, each one crumbled like they were made up of rocks that they looked like.  
once each one had dematerialized, i landed gently back on the ground. my fingers which were coursing with power started to settle down and i turned around to stare at loki and thor who were both watching me intently.  
“that’s. it?” thor asked his voice breaking a little.  
i looked around at the asgardians laying dead on the battle field and the injured that i had to pull back. i could feel the little pieces of the doridiums scattered around me, in ash and dust, making it hard to breathe.  
“what you expected more?” i asked disgusted.  
“no- i just meant.” thor stuttered. but i didn’t care. i had just taken out this entire race, i mean technically it was just the army but still. it was committing genocide right? but i hadn’t lost control. not really. i did exactly what i wanted to do, which was get rid of the doridium army and save asgard.   
“you did it.” loki whispered and it was all very anti climatic. i don’t know what i was expecting to have happen but the skies were still dark. morning didn’t magically come.   
“the soldiers.” i stepped back and into the gathering that i had assembled them into.  
“you’re going to be ok.” i said as i healed each one who could have been healed. unfortunately there were too many dead.   
“loki. the dead.” i pointed out  
“we’ll collect them.” he said quietly. “and take them to the infirmary.”  
but those were the last words i heard him say because my mind was descending into a black mass. i couldn’t keep focus no matter how much i tried. i wish i could have kept standing at least until we got to the infirmary but i couldn’t. i felt woozy and before i could stop myself, i was falling.  
after that, i wasn’t sure what happened but i woke up on a comfortable bed surrounded by the men that i had healed on the battle ground.  
“oh no.” i whispered because i didn’t know how long i’d been out. could have been days which meant weeks at hogwarts.   
i got out of bed quickly but immediately regretted it as i stumbled unable to come to focus.   
“no.” i muttered, but just then, loki came running in.  
“hey, you’re awake. thank god.” he said.  
“how long?”  
“two days.”  
i sighed in relief. “two days, that’s good. how’s everyone here?”  
“everyone’s fine. we. we’re able to give all the asgardians a funeral.” he said and i nodded.  
“i was worried about you.”  
i raised an eyebrow. “yeah? i was a little worried about me too, when i felt myself, you know, passing out. i’ve never used magic of that caliber before. i didn’t even know that could happen.”  
“i was worried that something like that might.” he said truthfully.  
“is that why you wanted me to wait until i was 17?” i asked.  
“so your magic would come in completely and i’d know you’d be safe?” he asked. “yes. but i always knew you wouldn’t die. you have so much more you need to do. so much more i want to live through with you.”  
i smiled slightly. but it was an irritated sort of smile. “but when i asked you if there was something you weren’t telling me-“  
“i told you the truth. i didn’t think you were /supposed/ to die.”  
“i can’t believe you used semantics on me.” i said. “anyway, i need to go back. i promised them a couple of weeks. my friends will be worried.”  
loki nodded. “yes, of course.”  
“i just. tell me how the rest of the asgardians are ok? and check in. i know it’s not very long for you, for me either to be honest, but i don’t want the next time i’m here to take me by surprise.”  
“you want me to let you know how the asgardians are? why would you care about that?”  
i looked at him disgusted. “did you seriously think, i went through all of this? just because i didn’t care about them? what the hell is wrong with you?”  
“i’m sorry.” he said like he just realized what he had said. “i didn’t mean that. but you’re a good person.”  
i scoffed. “yeah i know that.” i said sarcastically.   
“i’ll take you home.”  
“the weasleys joke shop.” i said suddenly knowing what i wanted to do next. i wasn’t sure if it was the shock of winning against an entire army, or what, but all i wanted to do was go see fred before i went back to hogwarts.  
“the joke shop?” loki asked surprised.  
“i want to see my friends.” i said.   
if loki found that odd or if he felt anything, he didn’t say anything. instead he, lead me back to the room where heimdall stood.  
“you did it” heimdall said in a flat statement. then he smiled. “i always knew you would.”  
“you always knew?” i asked. “we met five minutes before i defeated them”  
he smiled knowingly again.   
“well he’s a bit of a seer.” loki said. looking between us. “it’s because of him, well he’s the only reason that i even agreed to letting you fight them.”  
“letting me fight them” i muttered. this wasn’t the first time loki had said something like this. once before he said i was his even though he immediately took back those words. i couldn’t believe he was standing there telling me he thought he had a say in what i could and couldn’t do. i feel like i should have said anything but there was too much that i could have said. i realized in that moment that i didn’t know him at all. literally, i thought he was a nice guy, but i didn’t know him at all. how was i supposed to spend the rest of my life with him? the high i felt from defeating the army had worn off. now i couldn’t help but wanting to get away from loki as soon as possible.  
heimdall looked at me apologetically because he realized what loki had said, but loki himself seemed oblivious to my plight.  
“ok.” i said finally choosing to ignore what he had just said. then inhaled. “can you send me back to the weasleys wizards joke shop?”  
heimdall nodded.   
“thanks. rose.” he said before he turned the sword and i could feel myself being lifted by the light the same way i had a couple of days ago with loki.  
moments later i ended up right in their office where i had been once before. there was no one there so i decided to walk out the door, but before i could even reach the door handle, the door swung open and fred walked in without looking into the room.  
“yeah george i’ll get it.” he was yelling.  
“hey fred!” i exclaimed which made him jump violently.  
“rose? what? how did you even get here? ron told me you were on asgard.”  
“yeah i was. literally a minute ago, but i decided to come home and i wanted. well i wanted to see you first.” i ended a little awkwardly.   
“right, well and i thought you had forgotten about our little kiss.”  
“well, there was nothing little about it. was there?” i asked smirking.   
for the first time, his quick wit had failed him because he just sort of stood there. i walked up to him.  
“fred. we should talk about it.” i said.   
“how was asgard?” he asked after clearing his throat.  
“i defeated an army all by myself.” i said quietly while tracing a finger over his chest.  
“and i feel. amazing, so i’m going to kiss you again. if that’s ok.”  
fred stared at my lips and nodded clearing his throat again. i smirked and pulled him in for a kiss. it was deep and i forgot about everything else that was happening, about how loki seemed to think he owned me, about my father who was still very much out there and about how i would have to leave him in three months anyway. for that moment, when our lips were connecting and i was grabbing his hair and he had his arms wrapped around my waist, none of it mattered.  
when i finally pulled away, i couldn’t stop smiling. “that was better than last time, wasn’t it?” i asked.  
“well, it was as good as last time” he whispered placing his forehead on mine. “but then the first time is always the best, isn’t it.”  
the door opened again and i jumped back from fred smiling.  
“oi! you were supposed to bring the documents minutes ago.!” george exclaimed barging into the room.  
“what’s taking so-“ then he noticed me. “rose! what are you doing here? aren’t you supposed to be on asgard.”   
“hey george!” i said. “yeah i was, i just got here a minute ago actually, to check in and see how things are going.”  
“ok.” he said looking between us clearly sensing something. “well, i just came to get these.” he picked up the papers on the table. “and um, come out whenever you’re. done.”  
fred turned bright red. “um.” he mumbled.  
“listen, fred. i should go. but i can come back.” i said.  
“oh you’re leaving now?”  
“well you seem like you’re pretty busy-“  
“actually we’re just sending out order forms to hogwarts.” he said. “mail order is our biggest form of business right now since no one really comes by the shop anymore.”  
“and you can just deliver anything to hogwarts?” i asked, because i knew filch must have banned some things.  
“well, somethings take more effort than others because of forbidden objects-“  
“frederick gideon weasley you know i’m here right?”  
he looked uncomfortable because i had used his full name.   
“dude! i can get in and out of hogwarts with a snap of a finger. i can be your delivery service! for things that require the extra effort i mean.”  
he looked unsure but also excited. “are you sure?” he asked. “you could get in trouble.”  
i slapped him on the arm playfully. “yeah i think i’m way past that.” i said  
“you know, that’s actually a great idea.” fred said. “if you’re sure-“  
“i brought it up.”  
he nodded. “ok, i’ll tell george.”  
we walked out of the office together to find george who was writing a mail order form.  
“you’re still here?” george asked me surprised.   
“come on, you know i couldn’t leave without seeing you too!” i said.   
“george. ro says she can get in the forbidden products.” fred said and george smiled.  
“of course you can.” he said nudging me a little. he seemed to be taking the offer differently but maybe it was because he didn’t have feelings for me and maybe cared a little less about my own safety.  
“i’ll come by every couple of days.”  
“just to pick up product?” george asked raising an eyebrow.  
i made a face at him like i was going to stick my tongue out. “shut up.”  
george just laughed though.   
“you’ll come back in a couple of days?” fred asked holding my hands.  
“for more than the stuff.” i winked but kissed him slightly. he didn’t pull away. i could feel george smiling at us.  
“thanks for being here.” i whispered him out of the blue. i almost didn’t want to let go of him even though i was just going back to hogwarts anyway.   
“i kind of wish you could come to hogwarts with me.”  
“yeah me too.” fred said kissing me again.  
“bye.” i slipped away from him teleporting to the gryffindor common room where everyone’s head turned towards me.  
“oh hey.” i waved at everyone and smiled, i knew no one would know that i was gone for a couple of weeks, but i still couldn’t help but smile mysteriously. everyone stared at me.   
“have you guys seen hermione-?” but before i could even finish the question, hermione came running up to me and body slammed me with a hug.  
“ro! you’re back!” she exclaimed breathily. i laughed and hugged her back.   
“hermione! i missed you!”  
“i missed you so much too.” she said. when she pulled me out, harry and ron both took turns hugging me too.  
“so?” ron asked.  
“listen, it’s only been two days for me. how’s slughorn. more importantly, how’s /snape/ as defense against the dark arts professor?”  
they stared at me. “you, defeated an army. and you want to know about snape?” ron asked.  
i nodded. “asgard’s not my life. this is. of course i want to hear about hogwarts.”  
“well snapes been a nightmare, i had my first lesson with dumbledore and slughorn seems to think that i’m better at potions that i am.” harry said. “are you going to tell us about asgard now?”  
i wanted to hear more about dumbledore a lessons but i could tell i wasn’t going to get anything from him until i told him about defeating the army.  
so i did. i made it seem as safe as possible, and i didn’t mention the part where i passed out for two days. i didn’t bring up loki at all except to mention that he had been the one to take me there. they watched and listened intently, even though i made it as uninteresting as possible.  
“you defeated an army and you’re making it sound as if you went out and got a cup of coffee.” harry said. “seriously. how did you do it?”  
“they had a weakness.” i said. “a horn in the middle of their forehead. i sort of, honed in on it and just. made them go away. i don’t know, it’s my magic. it’s hard to explain.”  
they didn’t seem satisfied but they didn’t push me anymore.   
“tell me about dumbledore.” i said.   
“he’s teaching me how to defeat voldemort.” harry said.  
“finally! like spells and stuff?” i asked interested.  
“no, more like memories that could lead to his defeat. so far, we’ve been in a ministry workers head. i “met” his mother, grandfather and uncle. they honestly treated his mother so badly.”  
“you, feel bad for voldemort’s mom?” i asked. sometimes i forgot how good harry was as well. that boy had more feelings than i gave him credit for.   
“hey, she’s not the one who murdered all those people.” he said.  
i couldn’t help but smile.  
we talked a while more about dumbledores plan for voldemort. we didn’t bring up loki again which i was grateful for. i didn’t know what to think about him. he was so, arrogant. i didn’t want to dwell on that because i was afraid i would end up hating him and that wasn’t really an option.   
the next day, i went back to class like nothing had happened. it had been years since i’d properly gone to a class to actually learn and it felt so, weird. i remembered my last day of third year when professor remus lupin had left because snape had spread the rumor about him. well technically it wasn’t a rumor, but still. i hated snape for that, and so much more, but mostly for that. i hadn’t absorbed any information since then, and i didn’t even know if i could learn again but apparently it was like riding a bike. honestly, only the teachers even knew i was gone for a couple of weeks because i didn’t want to take their memories too. i had to make the rest of the students forget that i was gone though. i didn’t want to answer anymore questions. at that point, i might as well have just introduced myself as a new student. everyone knew i was gone in my fourth and fifth year but they just thought i was at home taking care of my father. no one knew the truth except my friends and obviously i wasn’t going to take their memories   
when i walked into defense against the dark arts, snape greeted me.   
“just because you have experience defeating an army does not give you an excuse to slack off in my class.” he whispered to me as i walked in.   
“i was planning on it sir.” i said solemnly. he glared at me but let me go sit at my seat next to neville and hermione.   
“hey, did you do the homework?” neville asked.  
i shook my head, “special circumstances for today.” i whispered.  
“from snape?” he whispered back.  
i nodded. “well, not really i just didn’t want to do it.”  
neville looked horrified. “he’s going to kill you.”  
“yeah i’ll probably get detention.” i nodded, which was totally unfair but also, he would have to keep up the facade. i groaned internally. i was probably going to get detention from all of my professors for not doing this homework.  
each class dragged on and actually, mcgonogall didn’t give me detention, but she and flitwick were the only ones. i was glad i had dropped divination because i could not imagine spending a whole hour in her room with trelawny.  
i sighed walking to potions just waiting for slughorn to give me detention too.  
i dropped my bag on an empty seat but i noticed that there was a seating chart in the front of the room. when i went to look at it, i was seated next to draco. i didn’t know whether to feel excited or dread. this was the perfect way that we could work together and i could keep my eye on him but i also knew that he wouldn’t trust me at all, especially after the stunt harry pulled on the train.  
“look, i know we’ve been partners for the last two weeks, but let’s just keep doing what we’ve being doing and not talk.” he said as soon as i sat down next to him.  
“you know, i’m different than i was even two weeks ago.” i said.   
“well don’t be.” he sneered. the whole lesson he kept trying to avoid me but i wouldn’t let him. we were supposed to work together and i didn’t know what he remembered from the last two weeks but i wasn’t going to leave him alone now.   
at the end of class, i thought our potion was probably the worst one in the class because draco point blank refused to work with me. i thought i might have had to ask slughorn for a new partner because if we kept working like this, i was going to fail that class.   
just before i could make the decision for sure though, draco said.   
“that was awful.”  
“yeah, and it was mostly your fault.” i said  
“no it wasn’t!” he said indignantly. “if you would just stay out of my business.-“  
i snorted. “right because you and i creating a potion together is basically me prying into your life.”   
“ever since you did that on the train. i can’t stop thinking you’re watching me.”  
i stared at him. “i’m not- look. draco. i meant what i said. i do care about you. but i won’t. i mean. i’m not going to go out of my way to do something to make you uncomfortable.”  
draco froze. “maybe i don’t want you to leave me alone.” he said so quietly i almost missed it.  
i smiled slightly. but before i could say anything else, he had turned bright red and walked out of the room.   
i packed up my things to catch up with ron, harry and hermione but before i could even leave the room, slughorn stopped me.  
“ms. stiltskin.” he smiled at me. “glad to have you in my class.”  
“thanks professor.” i said. “i’m sorry about today. i’m not usually that bad at. well anything.”  
“oh no. don’t worry about it. harry has told me all about your skills. you and ms. granger of course.”   
i didn’t know harry had talked about me and i couldn’t help but blush a little.  
“i um-“ i wasn’t sure what to say next.  
“well, this is a follow up to the train. i’m having a little get together this weekend, and i would of course like you to be there.”  
i nodded a bit.  
“sure professor.” i said. he nodded at me.   
i left the room where hermione was waiting.   
“what happened?” she asked.  
“he um, formally invited me to his meet up this weekend.” i said.  
“oh right. he asked me and harry and ginny to go to that too.”  
that was sort of the farthest thing on my mind though.   
“we should get started on homework.” i said. “i have detentions all week starting tomorrow.”  
“that’s pretty unfair.” hermione said. “especially seeing as how they all knew you weren’t going to be here.”  
“yeah, well.” i sighed. “it’s not like they can exactly let me off the hook. it has to look like they’re being fair.”  
still, it’s not like i needed any of this. i was only here for harry, but i guess i could have stood to learn something. i wondered if i could get by with just using sorcery instead of wizardry. i mean it had only been one class of each subject but it was pretty easy so far. i used a wand because everything was cooler with a wand. i remembered i used to tell aliyah that. she used to make fun of me for using a wand when it didn’t even work for me. whenever she would give that small laugh, i would tell her that it looked cooler with a wand. now, that thought made me sad, but technically this was just for show too.   
that night in the common room, i could barely concentrate on doing the work so i decided to just cheat.   
“you can’t just. do that!” hermione said as i absorbed the book and sort of had the paper write itself.  
“ok technically i’m not cheating.” i shrugged as the quill scratched on the paper.”  
“hey, how come you can do that?” ron asked staring at the paper.  
“because i’m not going to make a career out of any of this.” i said blandly. “anyway, you can definitely use it. just. you know, try not to make it obvious that you copied off of this.”  
“thanks!” ron’s eyes brightened.  
“that doesn’t mean stop doing your work.” i said. then i stood up. “i’m going on a walk, i’ll be back.”  
“hold on? a walk?” hermione asked. “it’s past curfew you’ll get in trouble.”  
i shrugged again. “i’ll make sure not to get caught then.”  
“aren’t you already up to your neck in detentions?” harry asked.  
“yeah, but i just need a minute” i said leaving through the portrait hole.  
“plus, you guys are ones to tell me about not sneaking out.”


	3. Chapter 3

i don’t know why, i just needed a walk by myself. i hadn’t actually been alone in so long, i didn’t even know where i was going to go. probably the lake, or near the whomping willow. i kind of wanted to go into the shrieking shack because that’s where i could feel closest to sirius at hogwarts but i also wanted to watch the moons reflection in the lake.  
that’s where i ended up in the end. the lake. i sat under a tree that over looked the lake, close enough that i could put my feet in the water. i didn’t though because i didn’t know what could grab me in the dark.   
i picked up some pebbles and through them in watching the water ripple in the moonlight.   
what i wanted at that moment was to talk to sirius. i knew that was impossible. or at least, that’s what i thought until he literally popped up next to me and scared me half to death.  
“sirius?” i exclaimed my heartbeating loudly in my chest. no, that was impossible. sirius was dead. whatever this was was magic. it wasn’t real. it probably would have been best if i just got out of there at that moment because i didn’t know if this was going to take a bad turn.   
“sorry to scare you.” he said a little too cheerily. “i just thought you might want some company.”  
i shifted away from him. “no, you’re not really here. i don’t know what this is, but it’s not funny.”  
“no, it’s not funny. ro. this is you.”  
“what are you talking about?” i was really confused.  
“it’s you. you brought me here.”  
i shook my head. “no, even i can’t bring people back from the dead.” i whispered.  
“who said anything about being back from the dead.” sirius asked. “i, am simply your memory.”  
i gaped at him. i didn’t even know it was possible to bring someone back from a memory. but i guess it kind of made sense.   
“wait, so you’re just. a figment of my imagination?” i asked.  
“well, yes.” he said furrowing his eyebrows. “but i’m sirius, technically. just what you remember. but i’m also you. so basically i’m what you need to hear most.”  
“great. that’s not complicated at all.” i muttered. “but i didn’t conjure you. i didn’t even think of this.”  
“ah, but the thing is, you did.” he said smartly. “you’re magic coupled with your strong desire to see me just now. that conjured me.”  
at first i didn’t know what to say, then i realized what was happening. sirius was right here. i didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. good because in that moment i could have broken down from everything, into his shoulder, but bad because i knew that if i did that. if i let him hold me for a minute then i would never be able to let him go again. and sirius, the real sirius was dead. i couldn’t just let myself pretend he was alive.   
“sirius, as happy as i am to see you-“ i started.  
he nodded like he knew what i was going to say. “i know. and even if you try to bring me back again i won’t come.”   
i didn’t know he had a choice.  
“ok, i don’t really have a choice, but i won’t listen. this is a one time thing. and you’re going to be ok without me. you’ve done well this far.”  
“i don’t know what i’m supposed to do anymore.” i said. “loki, he’s such an ass. i mean, you should have heard him on asgard. he “let me fight the doridiums?”” i out in quotes. “and the second time we officially met, he said my life belonged to him.” i scoffed. “i mean. i know i was “ok” with it before, but i just realized to the full extent how much i don’t know that man. i guess i just didn’t fully believe it until i went to asgard. oh right. and now i have intense feelings for fred weasley. and i can’t even let it go anywhere because my 17th birthday is three months away! sirius. i don’t know what to do. i mean, my life is here. it wasn’t that serious when i was locked up in grimmauld place anyways, away from my friends. but now. i have a life. i’m back at hogwarts and my friends. and the war.” i stopped. “the war.” i muttered again   
i finally finished my rant and realized most of it was about loki and how much i didn’t want to go with him.   
“have you talked to loki about it?” sirius asked quietly.   
“why does everyone keep telling me to do that?” i grumbled. “i don’t want to talk to loki. i’m so sick of loki. and his stupid name. and his stupider arrogance. he doesn’t own my life. why should i give everything up because he decided to save my fathers life so many years ago?”  
i sighed. “gods i cant start thinking like this now.” i put my head in my hands and grabbed my hair. “please ro.” i muttered to myself. “you know you don’t have a choice, there’s no point in thinking about this.”  
but i had said that so many times to myself. “there’s no point” at that point it seemed like there was almost no point to any thing.   
“ok. you don’t talk to loki.” sirius said. “but when you talked me. you said that your life was connected to /loki’s/ not asgard’s. it’s an equal relationship. tell him to stay with you. at least until the war with voldemort’s over.”  
i stared at him. he was absolutely right. the solution was so simple, so easy. but was it simple? would loki even agree to that? he would have to, i decided in that moment. there was no way i was going to leave everyone behind, especially when harry had to do what he was supposed to do. loki was just going to have to suck in up and go to hogwarts with me. that thought actually made me fidget uncomfortably. loki in hogwarts? everyone would love that. how would i even introduce him. i almost laughed though. that was a problem for later me. now, it was like an intense weight had been lifted from my shoulders. it was almost like i could breathe again because ever since i had gotten back from asgard, i just could not help but feel more dread than i did before i even fought an army.   
“see?” sirius asked quietly and stood up to hold a hand to help me up.  
i hugged him aggressively and wiped the tears from my eyes.   
“how do you do that?” i asked in awe. “you’re not even here and you’re just. amazing. now i don’t want you to leave me.”  
sirius held me right back. “i know. but you have to. i’m not here.” he said. “please, don’t bring me back. it’s painful for me to see you too you know.”  
he had just let go of me and i was turning to head back to the castle under a spell of invisibility when i suddenly had a thought. “hold on! harry!” i turned around and sirius still hadn’t left yet.  
“i can’t.” he said sadly shaking his head. “if harry sees me again, i don’t know if he can handle it.” he paused. “i’m not sure i can either.” i nodded but i didn’t want to turn around again. i really didn’t want to leave him. i knew i had to. i did, but i didn’t want to. maybe i could go see fred to make me feel better but it was almost midnight, i couldn’t interrupt fred then.   
“sirius, wait until i’m gone before you go.” i whispered. “i don’t want to watch you leave me again.”   
he nodded and i could see the tears glistening in his eye because of the moon light.   
i was going to walk away, but i couldn’t help it. i took a step towards him and grabbed him into another hug. this time, i made it count, i knew it would be the last time and i was grateful for even that because i couldn’t remember the last time i hugged him. i didn’t want to let him go. but after a few minutes, he gently pulled my arms off.  
“thanks sirius.” i said. “for everything”  
he nodded and winked one last time and i turned away to walk back to the castle. yeah i felt better but i also felt worse somehow.   
i guess i could have brought him back, but i knew he wouldn’t want that. and i didn’t either because losing him again would hurt too much. i also kind of felt bad because i knew i couldn’t tell harry about seeing sirius.   
back at the common room, i went to bed quietly so i didn’t wake anyone up. i felt calm in the silence with just the presence of three other girls there. i lay on my side facing hermione and watched her breathing. i didn’t even realize when i finally fell asleep since i wasn’t really trying to. but when i did, i was still in the dorm. i sort of sat up, but it felt wrong, not like i was awake. everyone was still there, sleeping but it was like they were in the background. i stood up and looked at my hands. it looked like i was solid but i’d never dreamt like this before.   
“rose.” a voice came from behind me and i turned around startled, but not exactly surprised.  
i stared at loki. “what?”  
“i just wanted to make sure you were ok.” he said.   
“make sure i’m ok?”  
“well,you did pass out for two days-“  
“i’m fine.” i interrupted. “so if that’s all you’re here for.”  
he raised an eyebrow, opened his mouth and then closed it again like he didn’t know what to say next.  
“are you mad about something?” he asked finally.  
i crossed my arms. “mad? why would i be mad?”  
“that’s what i’m trying to find out.” he said.  
i shook my head. “no.” that was definitely a lie. i was mad, but what was i supposed to tell this prince of asgard. i would have bet no one had told him off in his life and i didn’t want to be the first one to try.  
“i don’t believe that.” he said smartly. “look, if we’re going to live together- you have to be honest with me.”  
“well that’s the problem, isn’t it?” i said under my breathe.  
“see i knew that was the problem!” he exclaimed.  
“yeah?” i muttered. “how’d you come at that conclusion?”  
loki was quiet. “i am sorry you know.” he said. “i never meant to-“  
“steal my life?” i finished. “of course you didn’t. but that’s not the entire problem.” i said wondering how i was going to phrase this.  
loki watched me intently. “and?”   
“it’s, you know what the problem is? it’s that you think you know everything. that you control /everything./ but you don’t, you can’t. and me, you don’t know me at all. and i don’t know you.”  
“we don’t know each other. that’s your problem?” he asked.  
“isn’t that enough?” i asked. “you just expect me to give my life over to you, but i can’t, because you don’t know what it will do to me.” i sighed. “there’s a war that’s about to happen loki. and i can’t leave my friends.”  
he nodded. “well, i expected as much. but me? controlling and a know it all?”  
“what? no ones ever told you that?”  
loki smiled a little which made me want to punch him. here i was telling him how much i was worried about our future and he was basically making fun of me. being condescending.  
“i’m not coming with you.” i said and he opened his mouth. “at least, not on my 17th birthday. not until voldemort’s dead. my life is connected to yours, not asgard’s. and it’s what you said. this is an equal relationship. we’re equals. stay with me, here. and then once everyone’s safe. we’ll go back to asgard.”  
he watched me as if he was trying to get out of it. but then finally he said “ok.”   
this time i stared at him surprised. i wasn’t expecting it to be that easy. not that he had a choice, worst case i could have just ties him down and tossed him somewhere in hogwarts. of course that would have put a strain on our relationship.   
“you’re right. we’re equals. and honestly, i expected this.”  
i squinted. “one more thing. you seem to be under the impression that you can “let” me do anything. i need you to get one thing straight.” i stepped up closer to his so my head was inches away from his and put a finger on his chest. “you don’t own me. you can’t let me do anything. i do what i want to do.”  
loki smirked and grabbed my hand by the wrist.   
“do you know how much i want to kiss you right now?”  
all thoughts of fred weasley slipped from my mind as i grabbed his face and pulled it closer to mine. suddenly we were enlisted in a wrestling match but with our faces. it was passionate, but more than that, it was violent. like both of us were trying to get the upper hand. he grabbed my hair too and pushed me against the wall but i pushed him off.  
“nice try, prince of asgard.” i said wiping my mouth.   
he smirked again. “i can’t wait to get to know you rose stiltskin.” he said.  
i gave him a half smile. “as long as we don’t have anymore problems.”   
“oh i think we’ll have problems.” he whispered but he stepped closer to me. “but they will be magnificent.”  
he reached down to kiss me one more time but gently. then he was gone and i was left standing up against the wall breathing hard, slightly disheveled by what had just happened.   
i decided not to tell my friends exactly what happened just yet. i didn’t know exactly what it was but that was the first time i’d ever kissed loki. i guess i should have seen that coming. from the very beginning our relationship had been so full of tension. the first time we met, i had felt safe enough to take him into my garden. but now, i still had to deal with real life and that meant that whatever loki thought was going to happen wasn’t. i couldn’t. he basically had control of my life even though he was trying his best not to make me feel like that. i didn’t want our relationship to be like that. yeah kissing him was nice, well, not nice exactly. it felt right. but three months from now, he would be here, with me, and i couldn’t face that.  
i was silent on our walk down to the great hall for breakfast.  
“quidditch try outs are tonight.” harry said. “6 pm.”  
“6 pm?” i asked suddenly. “no! i wanted to try out.”  
“seriously?” hermione asked me surprised.  
i nodded. “yeah i think i’d be a great beater. i have so much pent up frustration.” that was meant to be a joke but only ron smiled slightly.  
“well why can’t you make it?” harry asked.   
“detention with snape.” i said dejectedly. “but i’ll try to get out of it.” i didn’t know if that would work, especially with snape, but i really wanted the beater position.   
“i can always push it to 7” harry said thoughtfully but i shook my head. “it’s fine, either way, i’ll be there by the end of try outs.”  
when class ended at 4 pm, i made my way to snapes dungeon. i couldn’t stand the thought of spending a hour with snape for not even doing anything wrong.   
i walked in the room and took off my my backpack. no one else was there yet so i stood up and walked to his desk.  
“professor.” i said lightly. “i was wondering if. if i still had to serve this detention.”  
snape looked up and raised an eyebrow. “and why wouldn’t you?” he asked.   
“well, you know that i couldn’t have done the homework, i wasn’t even here and i know you gave me detention to make it seem real in front of everyone else but-“ i paused because i was talking too fast.  
snape looked at me intently but then nodded which i was really not expecting. “fine ms. stiltskin. this time. but if you ever miss out on homework again, i will make sure to make it a double detention.”  
“technically i didn’t even miss it this time.” i muttered but i was grateful he was letting me leave. i still had homework to do which i could have cheated on it but still, working on homework was time to spend with my friends.   
i caught up so the harry and ron in the common room.  
“where’s hermione?” i asked.  
“library.” ron shrugged. “she said she needed to check out a book for ancient runes. why aren’t you in detention?”  
“snape actually let me out.” i said and both of them stared at me in surprise.   
“snape did?” harry asked.  
i nodded. “believe me i wasn’t expecting that either.”   
“listen, quidditch tryouts are in an hour. do you want to go down to the field and practice before?”  
“what and risk people think you’re giving us preferential treatment?” i asked. “i’m not sure that’s a good idea.”  
but harry had sort of stood up. “i’m not biased.” he said. “i want what’s best for the team and i’m not going to pick you and ron just because you’re my friends. i just need a break from all this anyway. let’s just go fly for a while.”  
i smiled and shook my head to myself before leaving a note for hermione on her bed telling her that we’d be going down to the quidditch pitch.   
harry was right. flying was exhilarating. i didn’t even practice hitting a bludger. i just wanted to fly. i hit a few quaffles and ron saved everyone of them. about 30 minutes in, i noticed hermione carrying a book and settle into the stands. i smiled and waved at her and she waved back.   
in the air. flying around watching ron, i suddenly zoned out for a moment. this was the first time i’d had all day to really think about what happened in my dream last night. loki would be coming here on my 17th birthday, at least until the war ended. and i had kissed him. oh my gods i had kissed him. and honestly it had felt different from everything. i was in love aliyah and even kissing her didn’t feel like what it had felt like kissing him. plus fred and i hadn’t really talked about us but i had feelings for him too. how was i going to explain that to him? fred weasley who had been nothing but nice to me, who always made me laugh. i groaned but a ball whooshed past me reminding me of where i was. i scrunched my eyes and zoned back in. i couldn’t tell fred about kissing loki. i wanted to be with fred, at least as long as i could. and i didn’t want a stupid kiss from a controlling man to ruin that. no matter what loki said about not believing that he owned me, he had already said things that he couldn’t take back.   
i landed gently on the ground and ron harry and i waited as everyone who wanted to try out came bustling onto the grounds. ginny was the amongst the first to arrive. there were so many more people this time than i had seen before. i watched hermione up in the stand, she looked nervous. maybe even as nervous as me.   
one by one, everyone raised their brooms into the air and the team started playing. there were obviously some better players than others and i knew immediately that ginny would secure chaser position. when ron went up against cormac, he saved 5 out of 5 where cormac only saved 4, but honestly, cormac missed it by so much that i wondered if someone did something to him.   
when it was finally my turn and the bludgers were released, i didn’t concentrate on anything else except keeping the balls away from the other team members flying around in the air. i hit every single one away from everyone else. under my watch not one bludger hit anyone else. i started smiling in relief as i landed breathing hard. with my response time towards the balls and how hard i’d hit them away, i was pretty sure i too would make the team.  
out of the 6 other beaters who tried out, only one other girl managed to keep all the bludgers away from everyone. i clapped for her as she landed next to me.  
“great job.” i whispered patting her shoulder.  
“thanks!” she breathed back trying to slow her breathing down. “you too!” her name was amaya witter.  
the sun had gone down on the grounds by the time everyone had finished their turn. harry gathered us all into a group and stood in front of us even though we could barely see him by that point.   
“you all did great at tryouts tonight.” he said. “unfortunately as you know, there are only 7 spots on the team but i will be posting the list of those of you who made it on the team by tomorrow morning. if your name is on the list. please show up to practice tomorrow at exactly 5 pm. thank you all for your time and effort, and again, great job.”  
i smiled and followed the rest of my classmates back to the gryffindor common room. i couldn’t wait for a hot shower and then to see fred weasley.   
i wasn’t a prefect so i couldn’t use their bathroom, but honestly, i didn’t need to. our bathroom although crowded, was still pretty great. i peeled off my sweaty school uniform and entered a stall where i let cool water drip all over me trying not to think of anything. unfortunately, as i should have known from experience, thoughts were not as easy to stop as i would have liked.   
the only thing i could think of was loki grabbing my hair and shoving me against the wall. i could feel his fingers running through my hair and his other hand grasping at my waist as his mouth pushed into mine. he was aggressive and i closed my eyes trying to overpower it with the memory of my kiss with fred.   
fred was obviously the better choice. he was sweet and kind and funny and smart. loki was smart too, but he wasn’t sweet or kind. then why was it him i wanted? why couldn’t i get the thought of kissing loki out of my head. for a moment i wondered if it was actually loki who was manipulating me into thinking about him but as easy as it would have been to blame him for my feelings, i couldn’t because i knew there was no way he could have gotten into my head.   
i stepped out of the shower and shivered. there was one thing i knew for sure at this point though. i would definitely have to tell fred that i kissed loki. i wasn’t sure how he would feel about it, and i wasn’t even sure what i wanted to do. what if he asked me if i wanted to be with him or loki? i wanted to be with him. i thought i was sure about that. but what would happen when loki did come down? there was no way i could be with fred then. it wouldn’t be fair to either me of us.   
i reluctantly got dressed and went back to the common room where hermione and harry were already sitting with homework spread out around them.  
“so how did we do?” i asked grinning at harry but he mimicked locking his lips.  
“you’re going to have to wait to find out with the rest of the team.” he said solemnly. “no favorite treatment, remember?”  
i smiled. “that’s my boy.”  
i sat down with them at our usual table near the fire. there were no chairs so we sat on the floor which was my favorite way to do homework. the fireplace was crackling loudly and the red carpets and wallpaper were adding to the warmth of the room. i just wanted to stay sitting there forever. ten minutes later, ron came into the room. we had skipped dinner that night so ron and ginny had apparently snuck into the kitchen to steal some food. not that it was really stealing according to them.   
i munched on a buttered roll as i stared at my homework absentmindedly. ginny was sitting with us that evening because she was eating with us too.   
“how’s fifth year going?” i heard hermione ask ginny and i watched her as she shook her head slightly. “it’s only been three weeks but it’s kicking my ass.”   
hermione looked at her sympathetically. “well, i’m always here if you need anything.” she said. and ginny thanked her but for some reason i had a feeling she wouldn’t take hermione up on that offer. i’d studied with hermione before and she could take things too far sometimes.   
i stared down at my homework while we ate.  
“Hold on!” hermione exclaimed looking at me all of a sudden and i looked up at her a little surprised.  
“you tried out for quidditch!”  
“yeah hermione.” i said a little confused since she was literally there.  
“no, i mean. the team, well. it’s a year long isn’t it?” she said hesitantly.  
“well you don’t expect me to waste my last three months here do you?” i asked smiling slyly.   
harry stared at me like he had forgotten i was leaving. i guessed now was as good of a time as any to tell them what i had talked to loki about last night.   
“so listen. i might not actually be leaving, on my 17th birthday.” i said slowly. no one said anything but hermione and ginny stared at me intently. “i sort of, spoke to loki last night. you know, like usual? and i told him that you guys need me. at least until the war is over. and that if he really meant the blood connection thing, that he could come and stay with me until voldemort is defeated.”  
they all gaped at me. i don’t know what reaction i was expecting but it certainly wasn’t nervous silence.  
“he’s coming to stay. here?” ron asked finally. “the prince of asgard’s. coming to hogwarts?”  
i shrugged a little but when he said it like that it made me uncomfortable. “we haven’t exactly figured out the details yet.” i said.   
“you’re saying!” ron said. “he can’t just sleep in the boys dormitory. can he? and what’s dumbledore going to to say?”  
i pursed my lips. “dumbledore?” i asked meekly. “i haven’t exactly thought about that yet.”  
hermione was being uncharacteristically silent so i turned to her and raised an eyebrow. “hermione?” i asked.  
“well, as happy as i am that you’re staying, i don’t know how it’s going to work out with loki.” she said thoughtfully. “i mean, you’re going to have to take into account that he could be dangerous. and well, ron’s right. he can’t exactly stay in the boys dormitory, can he?”  
i looked at harry hoping he would say something different. but harry just shook his head.   
“maybe he could stay in a hotel in hogs meade?” he asked and i nodded. that suggestion made sense.   
“yeah, see. that works.” i said, but there was still so much to figure out. there were other students at hogwarts too, not just me and my friends. i guess i could ask dumbledore to introduce him as new student, but through the middle of the year? it had never happened before. but the timing would be perfect given that it would be right after christmas. i didn’t know what else to say so i just stared down at the work that we were completing silently.   
“still it’s great that you’re staying.” ginny said. “seriously. even if it is only until the end of the war.” i could feel my eyes starting to tear up involuntary s i looked down quickly.  
“i don’t know how i’m going to leave even then.” i whispered.   
at about ten, i couldn’t concentrate anymore and harry seemed to have had enough too.   
“i’m putting up the list for the quidditch team now.” he announced as he got up and went to the big wall off the side of the fireplace. by that point, only the first and second years had gone to bed so the rest of us who had tried out.   
dean thomas got to the list first.   
“chasers: ginny weasley, demelza robbins and katie bell.” he called. “keeper: ron weasley. beaters: rose stiltskin and amaya witter.” his face fell a bit when he noticed that he wasn’t on the list. but the ginny walked up to him to confirm it and dean sort of walked away. they didn’t exactly look happy, so i wondered if they were doing ok even though that was the least of my problems. i knew ginny liked harry and harry was starting to like ginny back to i was pretty sure they’d end up together, just like i was pretty sure hermione and ron would end up together. plus, i kind of liked dean and seamus together anyway.  
i beamed at harry. “thanks man!” i said clapping him on the back.   
i was excited to be on the team. at least that was one thing that i had to look forward to since my life was basically a mess. i took a breath feeling like at least something was looking up for me.  
the next day, right before quidditch practice, harry, hermione and i got a letter from slughorn inviting us to an event he was hosting over the weekend.   
i stared at the letter. it was such a small thing but it was like, that letter was tying me down to hogwarts. i almost wanted to laugh.   
“we have quidditch practice that day.” harry said but i could tell he was relieved he didn’t have to go. ron’s face had fallen a bit because he hadn’t gotten one.   
“are you sure harry?” hermione asked.  
“hermione, i really don’t want to go to this.”  
“right, but don’t you think you should?” she asked. harry stared at her.  
“no?” he asked.   
“well, dumbledore did take you to ask him to come back to school-“  
“yeah, because i’m me and i expect dumbledore thought slughorn would want to get to know me better-“  
“exactly.” hermione pointed out.   
“no hermione.” he said flatly. “i’m not sitting through this.”  
at least rons face lifted a bit. this way, he wouldn’t be the only one to miss out on slughorns meet up. of course, hermione would have to go by herself.   
i patted her on the arm and gave her a sympathetic look like i was sorry that harry was keeping me from going to the party with her.   
harry, apparently was very serious about being captain. he ran the team like we were a military team. i didn’t know if oliver or angelina had run everyone like this, but the first day of training that evening, harry had us all running laps around the pitch even though we literally didn’t have to run at all. then he made us all practice fly tagging, and finally, during the last hour, he released the balls. if we had to do this three times a week, i was going to be exhausted. still, i had a lot of fun. being part of the team felt better than i had expected. i had never been part of a team before, even though i had harry ron and hermione, we were a team sure, but this was different.   
i felt exhilarated by the end of practice, and by the time i went to the bathroom with amaya, katie and demelza, i was so sweaty and hungry i could have eaten half the table. luckily harry hadn’t given us a diet or anything.   
“how was practice?” hermione asked catching up to us at the great hall. she was catching up on homework and decided not to come down to the pitch.   
“harry’s a great captain.” i told her. yes he was in ear shot but i really meant it.  
“seriously.” i turned to him. “i mean, i’ve never been so motivated to play before.”  
“you’ve. never played before.” he pooh ted out.  
“which is why i’m glad my first time is with you as my captain.”  
we made our way back to the common room after a filling dinner and the four of us sat down at our usual table. i pulled out some papers from my backpack and started flipping through a book when hermione suddenly looked up because there was a popping sound.  
“hey, there are no weasley products allowed!” she exclaimed standing up to go confiscate it from the third years who were watching a small witch on a broom hovering in front of their faces sending sparks from the end of the broomstick.  
oh no, the weasleys products. i promised the twins i would be their secret source into the castle. the reason i hadn’t gone to see fred again was because i fel so guilty about loki kissing me even though it wasn’t even my fault.   
i didn’t want to tell him. i didn’t even really want to see him again because i felt bad lying to him too. but what good would telling him do? in the shower after quidditch tryouts i had decided that i was choosing fred. not loki. loki was stealing my life, even if it was later rather than sooner. fred was everything i wanted in that moment. then why did it feel so wrong to choose fred?   
i wanted to see him. there was no decision, not really. loki and i would never work. but fred and i wouldn’t work either. especially after i had to leave. i had to be honest with him. i had to tell him that i wanted to be with him, but that it would have to end once the war was over.   
i watched hermione walk back over and sit down.   
“i have to go.” i said.   
“where?” ron asked bewildered.  
“funny you should be the one to ask.” i said looking at him.  
“seriously where are you going?” harry asked.  
“to snog his brother probably.”   
ron looked disgusted, “what the bloody hell are you talking about?” he exclaimed.  
“yeah. i sort of kissed fred.” i said lightly. “when we went to diagon alley.”  
“and you didn’t tell us?” ron was borderline yelling.   
“shh.” i said. “listen, it’s only been a few days for me. it’s not that i kept this from you on purpose like it was some big secret. but i would appreciate it if you would stop looking at me like that!” i added because ron looked like he was angry at me but also like he surprised that i could possibly do that to him.  
“fred?” he muttered. “you snogged fred?”   
i could tell he wasn’t going to get over it immediately so i sort of stood up.  
“we can talk more when i come back.” i said. he looked like he wanted to say something else but his mouth opened his mouth and closed it with nothing coming out.   
before any of them could say something else, i ended up in the office of the joke shop, a place i had been so many times. neither of them were there so i opened the door and walked out. it was totally dark, they had closed the shop. i forgot it was almost 10 pm. i walked back into the office to try to find a document with their address on it, luckily, i found one and seconds later, i was standing in fred and george’s living room.   
“fred?” i called out and two doors opened.  
“rose?” fred asked stepping out of the room in his striped pajamas. “i was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me.”  
“as if that’s possible.” i said. “hey george!” his door had opened too.  
“hey! hold on. how did you know we lived here?”  
“i. sort of broke into your shop.” i said. “found a document.”  
“so you stalked us.” george said. “sounds about right.”  
“sorry. i didn’t know how else to find you.” i gave them a sheepish smile.  
“no, i love it when you stalk me.” fred said coming over to wrap himself around me. i smiled and breathed him in.  
“well. that’s my cue.” george said turning. “good night.”   
i hugged fred back and we just stood there for a minute. i didn’t want to let him go. i was right. i wanted to be with fred. kissing loki was a mistake, and it was unexpected.   
“do you have anything for me to take back tonight?” i asked.   
and fred pulled me out.   
“tonight? no, everything’s at the shop. but you should come back this weekend.”  
“hey, i have something to tell you.” i said smiling.   
“yeah?”  
“i, took over your position on the quidditch team.”  
“that’s great!” he exclaimed hugging me again. “see i always knew that we shared a secret talent.”  
i laughed a bit. “i sure hope we have more in common than being able to hit a ball away from our teammates.” i said.  
“ah but being a beater is so much more than that.” he said smartly. “it takes (something funny but like i can’t think of it right now).   
i laughed and slapped his shoulder. “it’s always great to see you.” i said resting my head on his shoulder.  
“do you want a tour of my room?” he asked.  
“absolutely i do.” i said and i let him grab my hand and pull me into his room. it was basically what i expected, his table that was filled with bee ideas and his queen bed, which was actually not littered with anything. i bounced onto his bed.  
“i don’t actually care about the room tour.” i whispered. he fell into bed with me and i grabbed his face and started kissing him.   
i spent a couple of hours with him that night, we mostly just made out, talked and held hands. it was so cozy in the orange light of his room on his bed under his sheets. i cooled down the room with my magic so that we could cozy up to each other even more.   
i didn’t want to leave, but by 2 am, he was half asleep and i still had one more day of class to go before the weekend.   
when he finally fell asleep, i kissed his forehead gently and left to go back to my bed in the gryffindor girls dormitory.  
i still barely slept after that. i couldn’t stop smiling.   
hermione and i woke up before ron and harry.  
“what happened?” she asked me.   
“oh i spent the night with fred.” i said coolly.”  
“did you two?-“ she left the question open ended but i shook my head.   
“no, we just talked and held hands mostly.” i said smiling at the memory of last night.   
“that’s so romantic.” she said. i’d never heard her use that word before. and that brought back the terrible memory of loki and asgard.  
i wondered if i should tell her, fred was her friend too but i definitely couldn’t tell ron and i couldn’t tell harry either because he’d tell ron, and i couldn’t keep it to myself forever either.   
“hermione.” i said reluctantly. “there was just one small bad thing that i did.” we were still in the girls dormitory so at least the boys couldn’t walk in. she stared at me.   
“the night when loki came to me in my dream, we sort of. well, no, he sort of kissed me. and i stopped him, but still. he kissed me.”  
hermione furrowed her eyebrows. “he kissed you?” she asked.   
“i- i don’t tell fred right?”  
“no!” she exclaimed. “look, you pushed him off right? and obviously you don’t have feeling for him after- everything. so no, don’t tell fred. just. be happy.”   
i nodded. i wanted to say i felt better, but i couldn’t honestly and fully say i didn’t have any feeling for loki.   
i tried so hard to push that out of my mind for the rest of the day. and it was easy because all i had to do was think of fred and the amazing night we had spent together last night.   
ron didn’t speak to me all through breakfast, even though i tried to apologize.  
“it just happened.” i tried to explain. “i really like him ron. i didn’t mean to hurt you.”  
“it’s not even that you snogged my brother.” he said on the way to our first class. “it’s that you didn’t say anything.”  
“all right. well would you like to hear about what an amazing kisser your brother is?” i asked a little irritated. “or maybe how it felt when he-“  
“oh my god please stop.” he begged. “please.”   
hermione laughed but harry looked uncomfortable.   
luckily by that time we’d already gotten to class.  
the next day, saturday. harry had scheduled the pitch from 12-3 pm so we could practice quidditch.   
every so often i’d look up at the stand to find hermione looking up occasionally from the book she was reading. i don’t know why but i actually expected to see fred and george sitting up there even though if they were at hogwarts, they’d be on the team. i remembered my promise to fred to go see him that afternoon to get the merchandise from the joke shop.   
even though quidditch practice was just as hard that day as it was on thursday, i managed to have fun. maybe it was just that half the team were my best friends anyway, or maybe it was that flying was pretty much the best feeling of freedom i’d ever experienced in my entire life but i sort of didn’t want practice to end.  
after my usual after shower practice, i met up with ron and hermione in the common room.  
“where harry?” i asked.  
“still in the dorm.” ron said. “he was looking at the marauders maps.”  
“why?”  
“well, he seems to be curious about what draco malfoy is up to.” ron replied. “i’m a little bit worried about this to be honest.”  
“not, draco again.”hermione shook her head. “rose. you need to stop enabling him.”  
i looked at her shocked. “ me? i honestly agree with harry.”  
she slapped my shoulder. “see that’s exactly what you don’t tell him.” she said.  
i shrugged. “not unless he brings it up. i’m not going to lie to him.”  
hermione looked annoyed but luckily she dropped it because at that exact moment harry bounded down the stairs.  
“he’s disappeared.” harry breathed  
“oh harry. that’s impossible.” hermione said dismissively.  
“no, i’m serious.” harry shoved the map in her face. “i was just watching his dot and suddenly, it paused for a moment and the disappeared.”  
“seriously?” i asked taking him seriously.   
harry looked at me. “really.” i took the map from him and tried to find dracos dot too but i couldn’t.  
“that’s so weird.” i muttered. “it’s impossible to apparate from inside hogwarts and all the secret tunnels, well you would have seen if he left through those anyway.” i was sort of muttering to myself. “harry, where did the dot disappear?”  
he pointed to a corridor,  
“let’s go.” i said.  
“what?” hermione asked in an exclamation. “no, ro.”  
but harry and i had already stood up.   
“let me get my cloak.” harry said heading back upstairs.  
“that’s exactly the opposite of what you’re supposed to do!” hermione said.  
“it’s not my fault he disappeared off the map, hermione!” i said apologetically.  
“no, listen. remember the time you went after sirius in our third year-“  
“and he ended up not being dangerous at all?” i reminded her.  
“that’s not the point. stop making decisions in a spur of the moment.”  
“ah but hermione, that’s exactly when you should make them” i said smartly. “there’s no point in overthinking. plus trust me, we will just see if there’s actually something to worry about, and if there’s nothing, then i promise i won’t encourage harry anymore.”  
she still looked like she didn’t want me to go but harry had come downstairs and i was already leaving through the portrait hole door with him.  
“one time, hermione.” i said.   
we followed the map down to the corridor that harry had seen draco in. there were lots of students studying in the corridors so it didn’t look that weird when harry and i found a spot along the wall to stand and talk.  
“what do you think we should expect to happen?” harry asked me.  
i looked around at all the students and said. “whatever malfoy is up to, i don’t think he’s going to do it now.” i said my tone falling. “i have no idea how he managed to disappear but,- “  
“hold on.” harry said interrupting me staring curiously at the wall. i looked where he was looking.   
“what?”   
“i’ve been here once.” he said quietly.   
“i mean, it’s part of the castle, i’m sure you have.”  
“no, let’s go back to the common room and get hermione and ron and i’ll tell you.”  
“um no, harry, i’m the one put here with you so you tell me now.”  
he pulled me out of the corridor and outside somewhere on the ground.   
“muffliato.” he muttered and i stared at him. was it really that serious that he had to cast the muffliato charm?   
“ok, harry.-“ i said a little scared about what he was going to tell me next.  
“dumbledores army.!” he exclaimed. right, i remembered that he set up a group last year to defy umbridge right under her nose. sirius had spent a lot of time grinning about how much his godson was like his best friend. i smiled slightly at the memory of sirius but quickly shook it away because harry was being very serious right now.   
“the room of requirement.” he continued. “that opens whenever someone needs it and from different parts of the castle. i’ve been in that entrance before actually, since we had to use different ones each time.”  
“woah, harry. what would draco be doing in the room of requirement?”  
“i don’t know.” his face fell. “but there’s so much to do, i mean, the room gives you whatever you’re in need of. now i just need to figure out what draco needs.”  
“that, makes too much sense not to be true.” i said slowly. “but there’s no way we’re going to figure out what he wants.”  
harry sighed. “well you could ask him.” he said but he sounded skeptical.   
i actually scoffed. “right because after that stunt on the train, draco definitely trusts me.”  
“fine, don’t straight up ask him. but you’re the only one who can even maybe get something out of him. i don’t know why but he doesn’t seem to hate you as much the rest of us.”  
i pursed my lips thinking about the three months in third year that draco and i had almost dated. we had danced around the subject so violently someone might think we were trying our for a dance team. but after the incident with buckbeak, it was completely out of the question. i couldn’t date someone who would allow an animal to be killed to get back at man whose only crime was being friends with harry. still, i thought sometimes that i was the only one who even sort of understood draco. he was just a kid after all. and all he needed was a friend. i wondered if he would let me be that for him.   
“harry. we probably shouldn’t mention this to ron and hermione.” i said. “their already worried about you thinking he’s up to something, and i believe you, i just think maybe we should wait to find out more about what he’s doing before we tell them.”  
harry nodded thoughtfully. “you know you’re right.” he said, and i exhaled. i really didn’t need another lecture from hermione about the both of us being obsessed with what draco was doing.   
“i’ll meet you guys back at the common room in a few hours.” i said before harry waved his wand and the muffliato spell lifted.   
“fred?” he asked with a smile.   
i nodded. (i can’t remember if i already told harry i was bringing in the product but i decide not to mention it anyway.)   
“didn’t you just see him last night?”  
“what there’s a limit now?”   
he laughed. “i shouldn’t tell ron about this either?”  
“i mean, he’s probably going to find out sooner or later.” i shrugged. “i hope he’s ok with this because i’m serious about fred. i really like him.” i decided to conveniently not mention that i may like loki too and i couldn’t exactly figure out what was happening in my brain.   
“see you later then.” harry waved and i went to a more secluded place on the ground before leaving for the joke shop.  
i ended up in the office as usual, but this time at least the shop was open even though it wasn’t bustling with people like it was over the summer. a lot of students who shopped there were already at hogwarts and it’s not like people were jumping to travel to diagon alley during these times. i walked out of the office but couldn’t find them anywhere, until i walked to the register.   
“hey george.” i said easily. “how’s it going?”  
“george?” he asked standing up. “how did you manage to mix us up.” he looked hurt, but i wasn’t falling for it.  
“right, like i’m falling for that.” i said easily.  
“no, seriously, i’m fred.” george said. “i can’t believe you could do this to me. i thought you liked me.”   
i squinted. was i wrong? i feel like mixing them up would be an amateur mistake plus my tongue had been inside fred weasleys mouth. i think i would know him. but what if i was wrong?  
“gods fred i’m so sorry.” i said quietly.  
“no i’m just kidding. i’m george.” he laughed and i slapped his arm. “i had you going for a moment there though.”  
“no, you didn’t.” i muttered.   
“did fred put you up to this?”  
“oh come on, we’re always switching.” he said. “he’s in the back, packing inventory.”  
“so is it ready or not?” i asked.  
george got up and walked to me, “let’s go see, shall we?” he asked and led the way to the back.  
fred was using his wand to pack some things from boxes and was so deep in concentration that when george and i walked in, it startled him.  
“hey rose!” he said but he had lost his concentration and some of the stuff he was levitating with his wand, clattered to the floor.   
i helped him pick them up.  
“i’m here for delivery.” i said.  
“just for delivery?” he smirked and came towards me trying to kiss me but i pushed him off.   
“oh yeah, she might be mad.” george said.  
“what did you do?”  
“well, she didn’t believe me but i might have tried to convince her i was you.”  
“did you kiss her?” fred asked.  
“no, of course not. but-“  
“i wouldn’t have kissed him.” i said. “i know you fred. i can tell the different between you two.”  
“sorry about him, but i had nothing to do with that prank.” fred said.  
“that’s true.” george added. “sorry.”  
“no, don’t apologize, it would have been funny. if you had done it to literally anyone else.”  
“george, if you would excuse us-“ fred said. “ i’m going to make out with my girlfriend now.”  
george raised an eyebrow but left the room without another word and i beamed as fred came over and wrapped a hand around my waist.  
“girlfriend?” i asked.   
“well i know we never really talked about it-“  
“no, i love it. boyfriend.” i said right back. “but you’re right, we should probably talk about it.”  
“what’s there to talk about?” he asked but he was already trying to kiss me, as much as i wanted to just kiss him back and spend the next couple of hours in his arm, i needed to tell him about loki.  
“loki,” i said.  
“we don’t need to talk about him right now.”  
“he’s coming down. on my 17th birthday.”  
fred froze.  
“yeah, i’m not going to asgard. at least not until after the war. but, he’ll just sort of, be here. i won’t bring him to us, of course.”  
“no, but. ro. won’t it get. complicated?”  
“i don’t have a choice fred.” i whispered. “it’s the only way i can stay down here. it’s the only way i can be here. but loki, he doesnt mean to me what you mean to me.” that was the truth. i was about to say that loki didn’t mean anything to me but i couldn’t say that and mean it completely. but fred, he meant so much more to me than just some random kiss in the dark in a dream.  
“and what do i mean to you?” he asked quietly.   
i pulled his face in closer to mine. “everything.”   
and he kissed me. god it was so much better than anything we had ever had before. but a small voice tugged in the back of my mind. was this as good as the one with loki?   
no, i pushed that thought back. far back. there was no way i was going down this rabbit hole again. i choose fred.   
“you mean everything to me too.” he nuzzled his head in my shoulder having to hunch a bit since he was 6 inches taller.   
“we can figure out later, when later comes.” he said. that was pretty fred like of him.   
“yeah. we can.” i intertwined my hand in his.  
“now are you going to give me the packages to deliver or am i going to have to try again tomorrow?”   
“any excuse to see you again.”  
“i’ll come back anyway.” i smiled.   
“but everything is ready.” he said and pointed at a large box filled to the brim with boxes of their various products.   
“wow.” i whispered looking at the amount of products.  
“yeah, sorry. large order.”  
“i mean i can handle it.” i said.  
“never doubted you could. do you want to stay for a while before you go?”  
“i would like nothing more than that.” i said. “hey, about ron. he’s not very happy.”  
“and i care about what ron thinks, why?” fred asked.  
“he’s my friend!” i exclaimed. “i care what he thinks. just. maybe you could, give him something he wants?”   
“you want me to give him something he wants so he’ll give us his blessing?”  
“well, it sounds weird when you put it like that!” i said. “it’s just that he’s very uncomfortable.”   
“fine.” fred grumbled. “he’s been after the box of fireworks since summer anyway. i guess you can take a box for him.”  
“thanks!” i said. “and it’s not for his blessing. it’s just so he feels better about us.”   
“mhm.”


	4. Chapter 4

i spent the evening in their joke shop. it was fun even though not many people came in. i went through a couple of boxes of their snacks and turned myself into half a lion, duck, and a couple of other animals that fred and george found highly amusing. mostly though, they told me stories about developing the products since i’d never actually seen them work on it before. well except over the summer before what was supposed to be my fifth year.   
“i should go.” i groaned at like 7pm. “don’t want to miss dinner.”  
“or, you could stay and eat dinner with me.” fred said. “let me cook for you.”  
“seriously? you have time to cook after all this?” i asked waving my hand around.  
“not normally, we just order out. but tonight. we have a special guest. let us just lock up.”  
he pointed his wand at the door from the inside and i heard a loud thud.   
“and you have anti intruder jinxes on the door?” i asked.  
“of course. we all have magic, anyone could get itn.”  
i gave him a half smile and he held out his hand.   
“george! we’re going home!” he yelled.  
“did you lock up?”  
“yeah.”  
“ok i’ll be there in a bit.” george called back. it was obvious he was in the back probably doing inventory.   
we apparated back to their apartment and i settled on a chair on the island while fred rummaged the cupboards for something to make.  
“so what’s me special tonight?” i asked drumming my fingers.  
“well you’re vegetarian, and i only know how to make like three things-“  
i laughed and got up. “i’ll help you. what do you have?”  
he pulled our boxes of pasta.   
“do you have sauce for this?” i asked shaking the box.  
“well, i did.” he said. “but the jar sort of fell.”  
i laughed. “well lucky for you, i’m a pasta expert.” i opened their fridge to pull out ingredients.   
“cook the pasta. i’ll cut the vegetables.” i said pulling out my just-for-show wand. he watched intently as i cut the vegetables in seconds.  
“they’re so. even.” he said running his hands over them in awe.  
“would you like me to restart?” i asked sarcastically.  
“no, i just didn’t even know it was possible to be this- symmetrical.”  
“dude, you have a twin.” i said.   
he laughed, and i started cooking the vegetables for the sauce. that’s about when george showed up.   
“oh that smells amazing.” he said walking up to the counter to stir the sauce.   
“thanks.” fred and i said together.   
“you invited her over for dinner and you’re making her cook for us?” george slapped his brother a little.   
“well it’s not as good as your mother makes.-“  
“hey i helped!” fred exclaimed.   
once the pasta was ready, i plated it.  
“voila.” i said. “but seriously, not as good as your mothers.”  
george laughed. “well, no, no ones as good as her.” but fred looked scared to say anything about my cooking.  
once we ate, it was like 8:40 pm and i really needed to go back to hogwarts. unfortunately, fred picked that moment to pull me to the couch.   
i rested my head on his shoulder. “this is so nice.” i whispered playing with his bright red hair.   
“i can’t believe this moment has to end.”  
“hm. all the magic in the world and i can’t freeze this moment.” i said sadly.   
i just listened to his heart beat for a few moments.   
“ok, well, it’s already late. i really need to go.” i said gently pulling myself off him.”  
“ugh really?” he groaned trying to pull me back in but even though i held his hand standing up, i didn’t let myself get pulled back in.   
“hold on. we forgot the merch.” fred said.   
“don’t worry, i’ll pick it up from the shop.”  
“breaking and entering? maybe you shouldn’t tell me these things.”  
“well it’s your shop, and it’s not really breaking in.” i smiled.   
“i’ll try to come tomorrow but harry’s scheduled quidditch practices at such an awkward time. plus, i have so much homework.”  
“oh right. ‘homework’ i forgot about that.”   
“now you’re making me jealous.”  
“hey good luck at quidditch practice.” he gave a blowing kiss and i smiled and went to the shop. making the box easy was invisible enough. i decided to pick up a box of the fireworks fred had said i could take for ron, and then i ended up in the girls dormitory. luckily, no one had gone to bed yet, so i placed the box on the bed and started taking the packages put one by one. the easiest way to do this was just making them invisible and have them fly to the respectful persons bed. and then for the other houses, i could wait until classes on monday when no one would be in the common rooms. or i could just, teleport them. that was probably easier.   
seconds later, all the packages had gone where they needed to be.  
the next day, i caught up with my friends at breakfast.   
“you were gone all day!” harry exclaimed. “what were you doing?”  
i shrugged. just hanging out with my boyfriend.” i said smiling and hermione gaped at me.   
“so you two are official then?” i smiled at her.  
“he called me his girlfriend and everything.”  
ron didn’t look happy but didn’t say anything. i was going to give him the box of fireworks on the way to quidditch practice because i knew hermione would not be happy with it.  
after breakfast which harry made sure we ate lightly, i walked down to the changing room with harry and ron and hermione said she would come to the stands a little later.  
“her i have something for you.” i said pulling out the firework package. “fred said i could take it and give it to you.”  
he took it but grumpily. “thanks.”  
i sighed. “ok ron, what’s the problem.”  
“there’s no problem.”  
“please. i know when you’re mad at someone. i’ve known you for five years. seriously, if this is about me dating fred you’re being childish.”  
“i’m not being childish, you’re being selfish!” he exclaimed and the three of us froze.   
“excuse me?” i out my hand on my hip while i was holding the broom stick with my other hand. “how am i being selfish?”   
“ron-“ harry warned.   
“you’re leaving, soon. and sure you say that loki’s coming down for a while but what happens after that?”  
i stared at him.  
“you’re going. to hurt my brother. so i’m not ok with that.”  
“that’s not fair.” i whispered. “and it’s none of your business. fred and i have talked about it-“  
“which means he’s an idiot. you’re one of my best friends, but this, isn’t ok.”  
i felt a lump grow in my throat. i was so mad at him but some small part of me knew that he was technically right. i didn’t want to hurt fred as much as ron didn’t want me to. but he chose now to become super sensitive and “good at feelings?” i slapped the box of fireworks out of his hands, stomped on it and walked away to the quidditch pitch.  
ron and harry didn’t follow me immediately.  
throughout practice, i was in a terrible mood. i couldn’t stand ron and whether purposely or subconsciously on accident, i kept hitting the bludgers towards him.  
“can i talk to you?” harry asked angrily setting down when one bludger hit ron square in the chest and i laughed.  
i set down and looked at him. “sorry for laughing.” i mumbled.  
“look, you’re mad at ron but you can’t take it out on him on the quidditch field! we’re a team. and you either need to get it together or get off the field today.”  
i stared at him and inhaled. “fine.” i said finally. “i will. not take it out on ron on the pitch.”   
“that’s all i want. thanks.” he said and took off again. after that, i played properly, it felt good to hit the bludgers and ron winced a couple of times but i didn’t aim them at him.  
after practice i didn’t catch up with the team on the field. instead i took off by myself to the girls shower.   
when the warm water finally hit me, so did everything else. i hated that ron had been the first to realize it, but he was right.   
i started crying again. i liked fred so much, but ron was right. i didn’t want to breakup with him, but i didn’t want to hurt him even more. it probably would just be better if i stopped going to see him for a while until he got the message.   
i skipped dinner and went back upstairs to bed. hermione found me a while later curled up in bed.  
“ok, what’s wrong?” she whispered next to me.   
“ron.”  
she sighed. “when is ever not him?” she grumbled.  
i sat up reluctantly. “no, the thing is though. he’s right.” i said. “dating fred, it’s just going to end up hurting both of us.”  
“no, don’t think that.” hermione said wrapping her arm around me. “seriously. you’re happy now. don’t think about it too much.”  
i laughed and sniffled. “that’s very not like you.” i said. “aren’t you the one who likes to plan ahead?”  
“i really do. but i’ve found that you can’t always think about everything all the time.”  
i didn’t know what to say. “i don’t /want/ to break up with him. but.”  
“then don’t.” she said easily. “it doesn’t matter if this doesn’t last. not everything has to last. you were with aliyah all summer, that didn’t last but you were happy when you were with her. not you’re happy when you’re with fred. besides, none of us know whats going to happen next. not really. in general, sure. but now especially.”  
i nodded and sniffed again. “i was just going to avoid seeing him until he realizes that us being together is probably a bad idea.” i said.   
“hey, it’s only a bad idea if you think it’s a bad idea. i don’t know how many more times i’m going to have to say this, but ron can be a bit thick headed. you know that. don’t listen to him.”  
i nodded and smiled. “thanks hermione.” i said feeling better. she was the only person that i knew who could instantly make me feel better. well, technically there was someone else, but the other one was dead.   
ron didn’t talk to me all day on monday and i didn’t talk to him either. i was really eager to talk to him again. i wondered if he was mad at me because of the bludger or because i was dating fred. either way, didn’t matter cause i was mad at him.   
in potions on tuesday. i took my usual seat next to draco. he was my potions partner for the year, but over the last week, he had barely spoken to me.   
“hey draco.” i said mixing together that days potion.   
“what?” he sneered, reading the next steps not looking up.   
“what’s your hogsmeade plan?” i asked randomly. that made him stop and look up.  
“why?”  
“well, no reason, exactly. i was just wondering.”  
“are you about to ask me to come with you?” he asked.  
i shrugged. “would that be such a bad thing?”   
“yeah, cause it would make you dumber than i thought.”  
“oh come draco i know how much you and harry love each other. i’ve been wanting to set you up since second year.”  
“that’s not funny.” he muttered going back to his book. “and don’t even bother asking because the answers no.”  
“i wasn’t going to ask you.” i said. “hey stop.” i grabbed his hand because he was about to mix a wrong ingredient.   
“what?!” he jumped at my touch and grabbed his arm back. that was the second time he’d had a reaction like that just to me. and then there was that time at the robe shop that harry had noticed.   
“let go of me.” he sneered pulling his arm back and i let go and put my hands up.   
“woah, sorry.” i said a little nervously. “you were just going to mix the wrong thing. it’s three wings of a shriveled bat, not domstrang skin.”   
draco didn’t stop sneering at me and didn’t try to contribute to the potion for the rest of the class. he did however, make fun of me at every turn.   
“look at you, trying so hard. none of this even means anything.”  
i ignored him. “and look over there the stupid mud blood.” he muttered to blaise and blaise laughed. he mimicked hermiones concentration face.   
“ok, make fun of me all you want but lay off my friends.” i growled.   
“oh look. someones getting feisty.” he said sarcastically and i stepped on his foot.   
“there’s something wrong with him.” i said on the verge of tears at the end of class. i was just trying to be nice but he was going out of his way to. be mean.  
“i mean we been knew that.” harry said. “but you said you were going to be nice to him.”  
“i /was/ nice to him.!” i said angrily. “he’s the one who keeps insulting us for no reason. i just wanted to work on the potions.”  
if all that was because i made the joke about him and harry- i know that boy had troubles but he didn’t need to keep taking them out on me. and even if was just me it would be fine, i hated that he kept calling hermione a mud blood.  
we were just walking down the hallway when we ran into luna. immediately i felt better, i really liked being around luna.  
“hey!” i exclaimed.  
“oh hi guys.” she said in her usual dreamy manner.   
i still wasn’t talking to ron because of his comment about me and fred. sometimes he looked like he regretted saying those things and wanted to apologize, but other times he looked like he was fine being mad at me longer for dating his brother. not that we were doing much dating. despite what hermione had told me, i still felt guilty about seeing fred again. i know i should live in the moment and be happy, but at the same time, ron’s nagging voice wouldn’t leave the back of my head. every time i across the realization he was right, i got angrier at him.   
“where are you going?” i asked her.  
“oh to the library.” she said. “i have to do some research on dipoles.”  
“are you sure you can find out about that in our library?” hermione asked. she would know, she’d spent enough time there.  
luna shrugged. “it’s not for homework or anything.”  
that was such a weird subject to be researching but honestly, she was into weirder things so i just let it go.   
“hey, so our first hogsmeade visit is in a couple of weeks.” i pointed out. “do you want to come with us?”  
she stared at me. “no ones ever invited me before.” she said. “i actually avoided hogsmeade before last year because i didn’t have anyone to go with.” i shifted uncomfortably and i could tell harry and hermione and ron did too.   
“well, you’re welcome to come with us.” hermione put in.   
“yeah, we’ll ask neville and ginny too!” i said excitedly.   
“well im pretty sure ginnys going with dean.” luna said. “but i can’t wait!”   
she sort of skipped away clutching her books.  
“well, quidditch practice.” harry said. “it’s thursday.”   
i dropped my stuff off at the common room first before grabbing my gear and heading off to the pitch.   
i was pretty distracted during practice. i don’t know what was wrong with me. i had never let my personal life get in the way of quidditch anymore.   
harry didn’t say anything to me about how i played, but i could tell he was disappointed. i think he was mostly just glad that i didn’t hit any bludgers at ron that day.   
i spent the next day evening by myself in the library because i didn’t want to see ron’s stupid face, and i didn’t want to ask hermione to come with me. honestly, i wanted to be alone.   
“hey. where’s you posse of losers?” a voice came from behind me interrupting my deep concentration on history of goblin made items.   
“what?” i turned around. “of course” i muttered since it was draco malfoy, and turned back to my back on him.  
“well?” he said.   
“go away. i’m not in the mood.”  
he walked around and stood in front of me.  
“wow, i was just trying to be nice but if you want to be like that.”  
i stared him. “how is calling my friends losers trying to be nice?”   
“ok i can see you’re in a great mood.” he said and was about to walk away before he turned around.  
i heard him take a sharp breathe like he was going to regret what he did next and sat down in front of me.  
i looked up from my book and stared at him.   
“look. if you’re here to continue what you did in potions-“ i warned.  
“no. actually. i came to. well. i want to. i mean-“ he stuttered.   
my face broke into sort of a smile even though i didn’t want it to.  
“ok.” i whispered nodding. “it’s ok.”  
really? i was just saying it’s ok? i mean, i didn’t have feelings for the guy, and he wasn’t my friend. not really. i just needed him to tell me what was going on with him so i could stop it.   
he nodded, turned bright red and got up and left. it didn’t matter, i sort of smiled after him shaking my head. that boy, seriously, i didn’t even know what to say.   
he was just, broken. and lonely. i felt bad that he wasn’t really my friend. despite the times we had, i knew deep down he didn’t really mean it. his parents were just mean people so of course it rubbed off on him. maybe, he was becoming my friend. well he could if he stopped insulting us every chance he got. maybe he realized that too.   
i didn’t leave the library until madam pince pushed me out. i took my time walking back up to the dormitory because i didn’t want to run into ron.   
ok* point of view change which is different but i have two that i want to try*  
back in the gryffindor dormitory-  
“you have to apologize to her ron!” hermione said. “she won’t even sit with us and we have months left!”  
“i- i want to.” ron said sheepishly. “seriously, but every time i even go near her, she turns red and walks away.”  
“ok i’ll get her here tomorrow night,” hermione said. “and i’ll get her to stay. just, make it a good apology ok? she needs to stop being mad.”  
ron nodded. “look i am sorry for what i said, i am. and i want to tell her that, but she looks worse than i’ve seen her. have you guys noticed that she’s been crying a lot lately?”  
hermione looked surprised that he had noticed this.   
“what?” he asked defensively. “i notice things!”  
hermione put her hands up. “i didn’t say anything. but yeah i have noticed that too. her bed is right next to mine.”  
“do-you think it’s because of what i said?” ron asked guiltily and harry patted him on the shoulder.   
“she hasn’t gone to see him since then.” hermione pointed out, “maybe go easy on her ok. we know better than anyone what she’s going through and there’s no way we can possibly know what she’s going through.”   
just then i walked through the portrait hole and hermione waved at me.  
i waved back half heartedly. “i’m going to bed” i mouthed and gestured at the staircase. she nodded and i noticed ron open his mouth but he didn’t say anything.  
i went down to breakfast that day but sat silently picking at my food until an owl delivered a note to me. on the top, was scribbled the name “fred weasley” i held the envelope and stared at it. i didn’t want to open it in front of ron especially.   
“i’ll meet you guys in transfiguration.” i said after breakfast as i went my separate way.  
“wait! where are you going?” hermione called. i shrugged. “anywhere but the most boring class in all of the history of magic.” i said.  
i was going to go on a walk, to open the letter by myself, but i could barely make it out of the dining hall before the letter started gnawing at me. and it didn’t help that as i was walking down the corridor, a wave of sander hit me because i knew my time here was limited. technically everyone only had seven years but this would be my last one. it would probably be my friends last ones too, if voldemort was back. but dumbledore was here which meant that harry could return next year just like he had now. i didn’t know if he’d want to though, because i remembered what draco had said on the train about having more important stuff to do next year than return. that must obviously mean voldemort had big plans, big plans that only harry could probably stop.   
i found a secluded spot in the hall and tore open the envelope gently.

dear ro,  
i’m not sure why you haven’t come by in a couple of weeks. i know you must be overwhelmed with work but it’s been hard not seeing you for so long.   
ro, i’m sorry if it’s something i said. i know i was a little abrupt about loki, but i really wasn’t trying to scare you off. please come see me. and if you can’t, at least reply to this letter.   
i just want to make sure you’re ok.  
love,  
fred.

i stared at the love above fred. i knew it didn’t mean anything, it was just how they always signed off their letters. then why was it increasing the pit in the bottom of my stomach?   
before i knew it i was in the same bathroom sliding down the side of the wall i had done a year ago. if i kept this up soon people would be calling me moaning myrtle. this was embarrassing even for my standards.   
i wiped my eyes and sniffled. yeah, there was no way i was going to cry. i was about to walk out the door when there was a soft thud and i turned around to find loki.  
wow; that was somehow even worse than if a student had walked in. i turned quickly scrunching my eyes tightly trying to make sure the light crying i had done hadn’t affected me before i turned to face him again.  
“what are you doing here?” i asked quietly.   
“i just um- wanted to make sure you were ok.” he rubbed the back of his neck and turned bright red.  
“how did you know i wasn’t?” i asked, “oh please don’t tell me you’ve been watching me!”  
“not all the time!” he said turning and even brighter shade of red. “i just, know you’re going through a hard time so i check in once in a while, and you just happened to be crying during this one.”  
“right, but a week for me is a day for you, so that’s like, an obsessive level of checking in on me.” i said not know how to feel.   
we were both silent. “what’s wrong?” he asked softly.   
“what’s wrong? seriously?” i scoffed. “please i can’t have this conversation again.” but i paused. he didn’t ask for this either. he was genuinely being kind to me by coming to see if i was ok. why was i jumping down his throat?  
“i’m sorry.” i said in a much less violent tone. “i just- have this friend. whom i really like. but i can’t, be with him because i dont have a life here. i can’t lead him on right now because i don’t, well, i just don’t know. how can i be happy now when i know i’m going to lose it all?” i finished another test forming which i let fall this time.   
loki stepped closer to me and lifted my face so i was gazing into his eyes. using his thumb he wiped away the tear and cupped my face.   
“i will do everything in my power so you don’t lose everything.” he said deeply. i inhaled sharply not wanting to cry again.   
“please don’t make promises you can’t keep.” i whispered.  
“i’m serious.” and he sounded serious. “rose. i never want you to have to want for anything, so. if what you want is to stay here until you grow old with your friends. i- i will try my best to accommodate that.”  
i closed my eyes not wanting to believe it.  
“you’re a prince.” i whispered. “you have duties-“  
“duties that i do daily yes but that’s only once a week for a couple of hours, training, battle field planing, and now, we are not even at war,-“  
“seriously?” i asked. “you would do that?”  
he nodded and put his forehead on mine.  
“i would do anything for you.”   
i sharply pulled away because this was getting to be too close to me kissing him and i couldn’t.   
“the friend-“ i said. “his names fred. and i- i’m sorry.”  
loki looked sort if disappointed but quickly fixed his face.   
“i understand.” but it didn’t sound like he understood. “i’m not going to stop checking up on you.”  
“please don’t.” i said but i grabbed his hand. it was so harsh but soft like i could tell he had been trained in sword fighting but like he took care of himself.   
“i don’t blame you.” i said quietly. “so if you’re doing all of this because you think you have to make it up to me or something. you don’t. i don’t blame you. and i think i’ll be happy on asgard, as long as i get to come visit my friends.”   
i had to tell myself that because realistically i knew that loki couldn’t leave asgard, even if it was a couple decades here, (20 years = about 40 months) he would have to leave asgard for more than three years and i couldn’t ask him to do that. this was no ones fault and i hated that loki was being so, nice to me. it almost made me feel guilty about liking fred. i mean, i felt guilty about liking fred for other reasons, but loki being there for me should not have been one of them. i stared as loki disappeared and i was left standing alone in the bathroom wildly confused about my feelings.   
*ok now another pov*  
at the weasleys wizard wheezes, loki shows up and takes fred by surprise.*  
“fred?” loki asks looking at a weasley twin.  
“no, i’m fred.” he steps out from behind the counter (wait i can’t remember if they’ve met yet so imma pretend they have). “loki?” he asks a little uncomfortably. “what are you, doing here?”  
george looks between them, shifts his eyes and walks away because he does not want to get involved.   
“i’m here because, well. rose is miserable.” loki says. even though he feels just as uncomfortable as fred, he’s a prince and is trained to show confidence in every situation.   
“rose?” fred asks now conceded and very interested in this conversation.  
“you talked to her?”  
“well, i sort of- keep an eye her.” loki says like he’s trying to justify himself. and fred raised an eyebrow.   
“she’s miserable?” he asks finally deciding to ignore the fact that the one man he’s jealous of most is keeping an eye on his girlfriend.   
“has she talked to you yet?” loki asks.  
“she hasn’t been to see me in a couple of weeks, i’ve been worried about her.” he says not mentioning the letter he wrote because it was none of loki’s business.  
“she won’t come see you.” loki says matter of factly.  
“yeah?” fred asks turning away a little annoyed that this man thinks he knows rose better than he does.  
“she thinks she’s not being fair to you. she thinks she’s stealing your time, because she has no future here.”  
“and whose fault is that?” fred asked quietly clenching his fist. loki knew fred must have blamed him but honestly, he blamed himself too. it was complicated why he had done it, no one would understand, no one could ever know, if rose knew, she would never forgive him. (that they met at the asgard dance in the doctor story before loki even saved rumplestiltskins life and that he had been the one to purposely make sure rumplestiltskin had been poisoned so he could save him. it’s complicated). loki decides to let it go. it is not the time to fight with the boy rose likes. even though he knows it’s not really a competition. he’s seen the way she looks at him. he knows he has her. he just can’t be obvious about it, and he knows she won’t either.   
“go see her.” loki said quietly. “she’ll want to see you. she needs to hear from you that it’s ok if she likes you.” fred turns to say something else but what it is, loki doesn’t hear it. it’s irrelevant anyway, he had said what he came to say. 

*back in hogwarts and my point of view*   
after that i started heading back to the library when hermione stopped me.   
“please come sit with me ro.” she said. and i opened my mouth like i was going to object. “seriously, we don’t have to sit with the boys. just sit with me. please.”   
i decided to sit with her reluctantly. if we really only had limited time left, well i didn’t want to waste it by myself, but at the same time. i didn’t want to see ron.   
i followed her to the common room knowing i only had a while before quidditch practice.   
i thought about the note sitting in between the pages of my potions book, and realized i couldn’t tell hermione about it. she had specifically told me to go see him and i didn’t listen to her. and now i couldn’t see fred. not after seeing loki. but should i tell her about loki?   
“hermione?” i whispered before i could change my mind. “can we pause for a second?”  
she stopped walking and turned to me. “yeah?”  
“when i skipped history, i um. ran into loki. well, no, he came down to check on me.”  
hermione raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt me.   
“well, he didn’t say anything new, it’s just, he came down to check on me. i didn’t even know he was doing that.”  
“he came down to check on you?” she whispered.  
“well this time. but he said he check on me from time to time without coming down. that’s. weird right?”  
“i-think it’s sort of sweet.” she shrugged and that took me by surprise. of all the things i expected i wasn’t expecting her to actually think something loki was found was sweet.  
“sweet? you don’t find it creepy?”  
“well it’s definitely creepy. but he just. i think he knows you’re having a tough time. and after the war. ro- i don’t know what to say to you about this. all the books i’ve read. and nothing’s prepared me for this.”  
“i don’t expect you to say anything.” i said honestly. “you’re my best friend hermione. i just want to be here with you. and harry, even ron even though i’m mad at him.”  
“yeah, about ron.”  
“you know even if he would just apologize it would be ok.” i continued interrupting her completely forgetting about loki for a second.   
hermione nodded. “just let him then.”  
i stared at her. “you’re taking his side?”  
“how is that taking his side?” she asked.  
“well i don’t want to give him the chance.” i said suddenly knowing exactly why i didn’t want to. “i want someone to stay mad at. every thing is just so unfair, sirius is dead, my fathers dead to me, and i’m going to have to leave you. i just need someone to be mad at.”   
“but maybe ron’s not the right person.” she said quietly. “he’s not. well, he is sorry. just give him the chance to tell you that. please. for the sake of our friendship.”   
i closed my eyes. why was she always right? about everything? it was so annoying.   
“not yet hermione.” i said. “he was really mean, i’m just, not over it yet.”  
“yes he was mean, but he didn’t mean it. he said it because he was - well i don’t know.” she sounded like she was about to say something before hesitating and saying she didn’t know because she didn’t want me to be mad at her too.  
“i’m going to the library.” i muttered and turned around to leave her staring after me.   
i only had an hour left before quidditch practice but my mind was anywhere but doing any kind of studying. i opened my potions book and pulled out the envelope with fred’s name scribbled on it. my fingers ran over his name, it was barely legible, his handwriting was just so bad. i pulled the piece of paper out of the book and read it over and over again. i didn’t know how i was going to go see him, not after i had avoided him for so long. how was i going to explain not wanting to be with him anymore when i didn’t not want to be with him anymore? none of my life made sense anymore. i mean, it had never really been smooth sailing, but this was a whole different kind of issue. i’d never had men problems before and i hated i was becoming this person.   
the thing that bothered me the most is that i wasn’t willing to listen to ron’s apology. i realized it was me who was being mean. fine. i packed up my stuff and walked down to the pitch early hoping ron would already be there with harry. he was.   
“oh hey, ro.” harry called as i entered the changing room and dropped my backpack in the corner.   
“hi harry.” i said unenthusiastically. “you have anything new planned for practice today?”  
“guess you’ll have to wait to find out.” he said. “well no, but the game against ravenclaw is next week so we’re just going to play this evening.”  
“no running then?” i asked gratefully because i was not in the mood to do that.  
“no. well. unless you want to?”  
“no, i’m good.”  
ron stood awkwardly in the corner but i didn’t know what to say to him.  
“well i’m going to go outside. make sure we have the pitch.” harry said awkwardly.   
i turned and started pulling out my clothes.   
“rose.” ron said. and i paused. “look, can i talk to you.”   
i nodded without looking at him.  
“i am, sorry. really sorry, about what i said the other day. you’re right, it’s none of my business and i, don’t even know what came over me.”  
this time i turned and looked at him. he actually looked like he was about to cry if i didn’t accept his apology.   
i nodded. “thanks ron.” i whispered. “the worst part was, you were right.”  
“no, i wasn’t.” he said solemnly. “i was just thinking about what would happen when you left him. i would have to hear about it and fred would be super annoying.” he smiled a bit. “but i wasn’t right. and i’m sorry.”  
i gave him a half smile and my eyes watered up. i decided that was the right time to hug him because of i had to keep eye contact i was going to full on cry and i had to stop crying.   
the hug was awkward but not nearly as awkward as any interaction between him and hermione.   
quidditch practice went smoothly, everyone played really well, well except me. i tried not be distracted but even with ron and i having made up, there were still a lot of things distracting me. harry seemed a little distracted too, but i knew that was probably because of draco.   
“ok, great practice!” he called landing. “all of you. so we only have one more practice before the match next weekend, so i except all of to do our best and usual.”   
there was a muttering of “thanks harry” as everyone headed to the changing room.   
harry stopped me. “can i talk to you?” he whispered after everyone had cleared out.  
i groaned because i knew what this was about.  
“listen, harry. if you want to replace me with jimmy-“   
“no i don’t. what? you played great, that’s not what this is about.” he sounded genuinely surprised that i was doubting myself. “oh ro please, ron already thinks he’s the worst player on the team, i don’t need you thinking that too. you’re a great player, and i know what you’re going through. no. i want to talk to you about draco.”  
“i didn’t get anything else out of him if that’s what you mean.” i said. “it’s not like i’m not trying. he’s just so closed off.”  
“i was thinking that we should try to get into the room of requirement-“  
“and do what?” i asked. “there are literally thousands of objects in there.”  
“yeah but by using the process of elimination. we could try to figure it out. or we follow him into the room once he’s disappeared off the map.”  
i raised an eyebrow. “you want to follow draco into the room of requirement? and you think that’ll work? he’ll just be tipped off on what we’re doing.”  
“actually, i was hoping /you/ could follow him.” harry said. “and if he catches you then you could just say that you were wondering what he was doing. you’re friends now right?”  
“i wouldn’t say friends.” i muttered. “he hates us. me a little less, but still.”  
“well the feelings mutual, but we need to try.”  
“fine.” i said. “anything to distract me from what’s happening.”  
“hey if you don’t want to-“ harry said as we started walking back to the changing room.  
“no, it’s ok. i’m just as curious as you are. plus. you’re right. i can get him to trust me. he apologized to me you know.” i paused. “well sort of, after he was mean in potions, he /wanted/ to apologize. but he never said those words exactly.”  
“and you forgave him?”  
i shrugged. “he’s not my friend.” i said. “i’m just trying to figure out what he’s up to. why do i care what he says about me?”  
“right.” harry said. “but just, keep him on your good side.”  
“yeah that’s the plan.”   
now that ron and i had made up, we spent dinner talking and laughing even though there was not much for to laugh about.   
in bed. i ran my fingers over the envelope over again. i didn’t know why i was doing that to myself. either i should go to see him, or i should tell him that i didn’t want to be with him anymore. what i was doing now wasn’t fair to anyone.   
i didn’t even realize when i fell asleep cause i wasn’t expecting to. when i woke up the next morning, the letter had apparently fallen of my bed because hermione was holding it sitting on her bed.   
“what is this?” she asked flipping the envelope so i could see fred’s name.   
“hey give that back!” i tried to snatch it back but she wasn’t having it.  
“fred wrote to you? let me guess, asking why you haven’t been to see him?”  
i nodded. “he wants me to go see him. but i can’t.”  
“but ron told you he was wrong.”  
“he thinks he’s wrong. but hermione-“  
“i would never say this to you because you’re the smartest person i know other than me. but you’re being ridiculous.” she said. “you need to figure out what you want and tell him because what you’re doing isn’t helping anyone right now.”  
i hung my head. “you’re right.” i said. “and i’m not this person. i don’t obsess over guys. i just feel like. everything is upside down. i’m the most powerful sorceress in the universe and i can’t bring it up to tell fred how i feel about him really.”  
i wanted to cry again but i didn’t, having magic was coming in handy to stop myself from crying.   
“hermione. can you tell me what to do?”  
“i already did, remember? “ she asked. “the first night you and ron got into a fight.”  
i nodded. “ok.” and took a deep breathe. “i guess i have to see him tomorrow.”  
and that day went impossibly fast. i was dreading seeing fred because i didn’t know what to say.


	5. Chapter 5

on saturday i tried to go see him i really did, but i couldn’t. i didn’t know what to say to him. for some reason my hands started shaking. why i had no idea. i didn’t even feel like that when i had quidditch.   
no, i couldn’t see him. this was a breakup. i would just have to hope he got the message.   
(i hate this so i’m going to skip to the quidditch match because the week after that is halloween)   
the morning of the quidditch match, i woke up feeling worse than ever. over the week the guilt of ignoring fred was eating away at me and i was pretty sure ron had written to him telling him about our fight or something because fred hadn’t written to me again.   
ron looked more nervous than i was. by the time i got down to breakfast in full gear, ron was already saying “oh harry, i don’t think i can do this. after this match i’m resigning. seriously.”  
“no you’re not.” harry said casually. “you’re a great player ron, you just have to believe in yourself.”  
he handed ron a cup of apple juice (because i refuse to let anyone in my dr drink pumpkin juice).   
“hold on ron don’t drink that!” hermione exclaimed. “harry! what did you put in it?”  
but harry was slipping a little vial of something into his pockets. i didn’t say anything but ron drowned the cup in one breathe.   
“you could be expelled for that!” hermione exclaimed in a breathy voice to harry. but he just smiled and shrugged.   
“only if someone finds out.” he said. “are you going to report me?”  
“i should.” hermione muttered crossing her arms but i didn’t think she would. the only time she had ever reported then was in third year when harry got the fire bolt and she thought it was from sirius. it had been but she thought it might have been cursed and i agreed with her. that was a matter of safety. this has nothing to do with that so i didn’t think she would say anything.   
“good luck guys!” luna said from behind us as we got up to walk to the field together.  
“aren’t you in ravenclaw?” ron asked.  
“well yes, but you guys are my friends too. plus we’re going to hogsmeade together next week. so i’m rooting for you.”  
i laughed a little. “thanks luna. we’ll do our best.”  
and our best we did. ravenclaw either wasn’t playing their best or we were just exceedingly amazing, the weather was amazing, and even i wasn’t unfocused. i wished harry had given me some of the lucky potion which was clearly what he had given ron, but turned out i didn’t even need it, ron’s luck was running off on all of us. for the first time in weeks, i didn’t think about any of my problems, i just concentrated on the match and keeping the bludgers away from my teammates. it was exhilarating. we when 190 to 20, in less than an hour, and then we made our back to the common room.   
the cheers filled the room and everyone praised us. especially ron. he’s the one who hadn’t let many goals go through. a couple of the boys lifted him over their head and i joined in cheering for him.   
hermione was smiling too but she looked a little annoyed.   
“you really shouldn’t have done that you know.” when harry came up to us. “but i’m glad you won.”  
“i have no idea what you’re talking about!” harry said.  
hermione raised an eyebrow. “it’s fine harry. i’m not going to tell anyone.”  
ron was just let down and he came over with a huge grin breathing hard.  
“i didn’t put it in.” harry said simply pulling out the vial which was still sealed shut. “ron only thought i did.”  
ron’s eyes widened. “you tricked me!?”  
“but that means you did it yourself!” harry said. “you only proved to yourself what i knew all along.”   
“but, the weather- and them letting our goals in.”  
“i don’t know.” harry shrugged. “but you saving the goal? that was all you.”  
ron’s grin came creeping back on his face. “see hermione?” he asked a little accusingly. “i can do things myself.”  
“i never said you couldn’t!” hermione gasped. “it was always you who doubted yourself.”  
but ron wasn’t listening. he had turned away back into the crowd where people were still patting him on the back.  
“he can be so clueless sometimes.” i said apologetically to hermione as if she didn’t know.  
then there was a louder cheer from the crowd and hermione and i looked towards the source of the sound. lavender brown had grabbed ron and was kissing him deeply. 

i closed my eyes because i knew how hermione felt about him, and just like i expected. she had turned around and started to walk out of the common room.   
for a second i didn’t know what to do before i started following her out the common room. harry followed me too. he seemed to think hermione would need both of us and ron was fine.   
when i caught up with hermione, she was sitting on a step in a hallway that was sort of facing outside.   
“hey.” i said gently sitting next to her. harry had finally gotten there and sat on her other side.   
she didn’t say anything. and i didn’t know what to say either.   
it’s not like she had ever told him she liked him, but of course it’s hard to see someone you like kiss someone else.   
“i’m so sorry.” i whispered. “he’s so clueless.”  
but hermione just shook her head. “i- it’s my fault.”  
“no it’s not.” harry said.   
“no, i should have told him. i-“  
“you’ve liked him for years. and he’s liked you back”.” i said rubbing her arm. he just. look, lavender is just an obstacle on his road to you.”  
she buried her head into harry’s shoulder and i moved closer to her and held her other arm.   
just then, there was a loud giggling that came from behind us and hermione pulled away from harry. we turned to find ron and lavender standing there holding hands and giggling.   
“oh sorry.” she said giggling trying to pull him away but he held up a hand to pause her.   
“hey i was wondering where the three of you went.” he said a little high on the happiness from winning the match.   
but hermione gave him a murderous look and i wasn’t too happy with him either.  
“sorry.” he muttered backing away at the looks on our faces,” but just as he was about to leave, hermione yelled “oppugno!” and many different birds in the courtyard were immediately siced on ron. he ran but the birds flew around his head attacking any bare flesh they could find until finally the spell wore off and they flew away.   
he gave hermione a scared and annoyed look and went off the follow lavender.   
“come on.” she said and lead us back to the common room. the party hadn’t fizzled out yet but hermione decided to go to bed and i decided to go with her.   
“i can talk to him.” harry said separately to me right before i was about to follow hermione up the stairs.   
“no don’t do that.” i said. “they’ll get together on their own time. i mean, there’s no way this is going to last, you know what lavenders like. besides, if you tell him he’ll feel awkward and then they might never get together.” i don’t know why but that made sense in my head. “forcing people together is never a good idea.”  
harry nodded. “you know i was kind of worried that if they do get together this early and then break up- well. it wouldn’t be good would it?”  
i shook my head. “exactly. besides, with the war- they’ll figure it out. remember when hermione went out with viktor krum and ron was super sulky about it?” i remembered hermione telling me that she went to the yule ball with the famous quidditch player and that they were still friends. and how ron’s face had fell when she was talking about him.  
“hermione told you ron was annoyed by it?” harry asked.  
“ron did actually.” i replied with a small laugh. “didn’t he want to ask her out but it was too late?”  
“i believe his exact words were ‘hermione, you’re a girl.’” harry said laughing and i gave him a horrified look.   
“no! he actually started it off like that?” i asked. “no wonder.”  
harry shook his head with a smile. “yeah. no wonder. i was actually about to ask ginny too you know.” he added quietly.   
“you still can.” i said.   
“she’s with dean. and besides. ron’s her brother. he’d never forgive me.”  
“there’s nothing wrong with you.” i said. “and don’t you think ron would prefer his sister to be with someone he knows really well?”  
harry looked thoughtful. “that’s a good point, but still- she’s with dean.”  
“oh come on harry.” i said punching him on the arm lightly. “that relationships going to last about as long as ron and lavender. dyou know i saw them fighting even today? it really looks like dean won’t stop helping her with everything. he’s intrusive apparently.” harry’s expression brightened at this.  
“thanks ro. and make sure hermione’s ok?”  
i smiled and nodded. “you know i will.”  
i walked up the stairs to the common room where hermione was pretending to be asleep. i didn’t disturb her because if she wanted to talk about it, she wouldn’t have feigned sleeping. i pulled her blanket up and gave her a light kiss on her forehead. she exhaled softly like she was about to cry. but still didn’t get up so i just got in my own bed hoping that lavender wouldn’t come in until she actually had fallen asleep.  
i didn’t know when she fell asleep but i did almost immediately. i didn’t know if it was exhaustion because of the quidditch match or emotional exhaustion but i was out. i didn’t even hear when hermione woke up the next morning until she shook me awake at like 11.   
“you missed breakfast.” she said, “but we can go down to lunch soon.”  
“wow how long did i sleep?” i asked checking the clock to see why my alarm go off.  
“long enough,” hermione muttered. “to leave me alone for breakfast.”  
“how did that go?”  
hermione shrugged. “fine.”  
“well did he say anything?”  
“i dont know. i didn’t talk to him.” she said.   
“so that’s your plan? just to not talk to him?”  
she gave a mirthless laugh. “because you don’t know anything about that!” she exclaimed.  
“yeah but i had a valid excuse-“ i said before stopping myself and wincing.   
“excuse me?”  
“no, i didn’t mean that.” i said quickly. “obviously you have a valid reason, it’s just well.”   
“what?” she asked angrily. and i stopped trying to defend ron.   
“nothing.”  
“that’s what i thought.” but her expression softened. “you have to be on my side here ro.”   
i nodded. “i’m sorry. i totally am.”   
the next week before hogsmeade weekend passed so boringly. hermione refused to speak to ron, getting up and leaving everytime he sat with us in the common room.  
“well it’s not my fault she’s mad that i’ve found someone to snog.” he said every time. “i mean, she snogged viktor and i didn’t say anything about it.”  
“you did.” harry reminded him. “so many times. you were so cranky during our fourth year because hermione was going out with krum.”  
“yeah well. she did anyway didn’t she.”   
ginny was with us during one of these conversations. “well you can’t really blame her though. remember when you jumped down my throat for being with dean.”  
“yeah i’m still not particularly happy with that relationship.” he muttered  
“what relationship would you be happy with?” i asked him.   
he didn’t reply.  
“i’ve kissed dean, hermione’s kissed viktor. even harry’s kissed cho.”  
“what do you mean “even harry?””  
“but that doesn’t give you the right to act like this.” i said. “seriously. you’re always all over each other in public. it’s disgusting.”  
“disgusting? ginnys the one who told me to get snogged and now i’m doing it and it’s disgusting?”  
“ok we’ve all snogged.” i said. “but you don’t see any of us doing it in public.”  
“well we saw you snogging aliyah over the summer.” ron said.   
“i didn’t over do it, did i?”  
“no,” ginny and harry said together. “believe me you two were very decent. one wouldn’t even be able to tell you two were together if they didn’t know.” ginny said patting my shoulder. “and seriously, ron. just cool it on the publicity.”  
“it’s not my fault.” he said. “lavender won’t lay off my.”   
that was it for me. i shook my head without saying anything and got up up to find hermione.   
luna and neville found us one day in the halls.   
“can’t wait for hogsmeade weekend!” luna said yet again and i thought she might have been over estimating the trip a bit.   
“yeah. it’ll be fun!” neville agreed.  
“going to hogsmeade with these losers then stiltskin?” a voice spat from behind me and all five of us turned around to see malfoy with his usual cronies.   
“well you’re half right there draco.” i said coolly. “we are going to hogsmeade but they’re the coolest people i’ve ever met.”  
“well then clearly we have different opinions of cool.” he sneered.   
“well then, i think you’re awesome.” i said smiling. “draco, don’t think so low of yourself. you’re really smart you know.” and he turned bright red. i managed to irritate him simply by being nice which was good because i was not trying to find new ways to insult him.   
“i don’t- whatever.” and he walked away. i was tempted to follow him but my friends were right here and he was surrounded by his too so i didn’t.  
“i can’t believe him.” neville said. “he does this every time.”  
“ignore him.” i muttered. “seriously, he’s just trying to get a rise.”   
“thats not an excuse.” ron said.   
“i never said it was.”   
the next day in potions when he took his usual seat next to him, i followed him with eyes until he sat down.   
“why do you always insist on bullying us?” i asked in a whisper leaning in so no one could hear.  
“if you recall correctly i never called you a loser.” he muttered back.   
“and it’s ok to say that to my friends?”   
“well, you’re friends are couple of blood traitors and mud bloods aren’t they.”  
i didn’t speak to him after that, not even for potion instructions. i didn’t know if he wanted to apologize or not but he didn’t that day anyway.   
finally, halloween rolled around. it had been a year since my halloween with sirius and remus. i watched harry closely to make sure he wasn’t showing signs of being sad because that was the anniversary of his parents death 17 years. honestly harry acted like he didn’t even remember. he was mostly excited to go to hogsmeade and then the feast.   
the five of us met up at the entrance to hogsmeade and then decided to go to the sweet shop first, we had so much fun and luna and looked over everything that the shop provided, i’d only been there a couple of times during my third year, and i had missed the place. i had to beg hermione to come with us because she did not want to come with ron. i told her she wouldn’t even have to talk to him, but that because luma and neville were coming with especially, we couldn’t just, separate. she finally agreed after i promised her that i would make sure she wouldn’t be alone with ron even for a moment.   
it was around lunchtime when we finally headed to rosmertas to eat. we had just found a table where the five of us could sit together and ordered when the door opened. i didn’t look up at the door as it opened every few minutes as people went in and out. but i felt a hand being placed on my shoulder which caused me to jump up and pull out my wand on instinct.   
“woah!” fred exclaimed. “sorry!”  
i lowered my wand and stared at him. “fred?”  
“i’m here too you know.” george muttered smiling. but i didn’t know what to say. i hadn’t seen him in weeks and know, well i didn’t know if he was mad at me or not.   
“yeah, george and i knew you’d be here and we just decided to come down and surprise you.” fred said.   
“here, sit with us.” harry said as he and the rest of them moved their chairs to make room for two more.  
“yeah absolutely. butter beers on us.” fred said before turning to me. “can we just talk for a moment?” i looked at hermione silently willing her to help me but she didn’t say anything.   
“um, yeah.” i made up my mind and followed fred outside to a secluded place.  
“i’m sorry i didn’t come visit.” i said quickly before he could even say anything.   
“hey, it’s ok.” fred said quickly interrupting me. “seriously. but i think you need to hear something from me. something that i absolutely mean when i say.”  
i tilted my head.   
“I’m not scared of getting my heart broken by you.” he said.   
“but i am.” i said. “there’s just been too much, and the reason aliyah and i broke up was because of loki. i just don’t want to go through that with you too.”  
fred nodded. “if you don’t want to do this because you’re scared of the end. then i understand. we can stop right now.”  
i nodded thoughtfully. “i haven’t been thinking of much else these last couple of weeks.” i said quietly. “fred, i don’t want to leave you. i mean the break up and leaving you literally. it’s something ron said to me that made me feel worse- but i’m in.”  
“hold on. ron?” he asked angrily.   
“no, it’s fine. we’re good now.-“  
“that little git.” he said. “i’m going to kill him.”  
i laughed. “yeah that’s what i wanted to do, but we’re good now seriously.” but fred had balled his fists. i quickly pulled him in and kissed him. “i missed you.” i said.   
he wrapped his hand around my waist and kissed me back. at least i diffused that situation.   
when i finally opened my eyes, i saw draco standing on the opposite side of the street alone, staring at me.   
“hey, i’ll meet you inside ok?” i said pulling out gently.   
fred looked like he wanted to ask me what i was planning to do but after opening his mouth and closing it a couple of times, he nodded.   
i waited until he was inside until i crossed the street to where draco was standing all alone.  
“do you have anything you want to say to me?” i asked crossly because he was staring at me from before i even noticed him.   
“i. you’re going out with a weasley now?” he asked.  
“it’s none of your business is it?” i asked annoyed.  
“no, but you can do better than him.”  
i sighed. “i don’t know what i expected.” i muttered before turning around to walk back to my friends. he grabbed my hands and i turned around but quickly pulled it out of his.  
“i’m sorry.” he said sincerely.   
“yeah? which part? calling my friends mud bloods and blood traitors or insulting my relationship with fred?”  
“both.” he said looking down.   
“you know draco. you can’t just keep insulting the people i love and then apologizing and expect me to be ok with it.” he didn’t look up.   
“i know.” he whispered. “i just can’t help it.”  
“well you need to, and real fast.” i said. “because i’m trying really hard to be nice to you, but i can’t justify myself if you keep being mean-“ and then he did something that i absolutely did not see coming. i was literally in the middle of berating him about being mean to my friends all the time when he grabbed me and pulled me and kissed me.   
it took me a second to even realize what was going on but when i did i quickly pushed him off.   
“what? are you doing?” i asked seriously bewildered at his behavior.  
“i’m not going to apologize if that’s what you want.” he said in a low voice stepping closer to me.  
i stepped back. “in what world do you think that’s appropriate?” i asked quietly. “seriously. you saw me with fred. and just now, i was just asking you to be nice to my friends. and then you kiss me?” i was flabbergasted. “what makes you think that’s ok.”   
that made draco look at least a little embarrassed.   
“fine. that was terrible timing. but ro. come on. i meant it when i said you can do better. and i’ve seen the way you look at me.”  
“because i want to be your /friend/.” i emphasized.   
“yeah, right.” he scoffed.   
“fine. say that this was ok. how do you think it’ll work?” i asked putting my hands on my hips. “seriously. you and my friends hate each other, and you’re mean to me at every turn.”  
“no one has to know. i know a place we can go.” draco said. “come on. we were this close in third year to doing this-“  
“before you tried to have buckbeak killed.” i reminded him.  
but he ignored that. “come on, break up with fred. be with me. we can be together secretly. it’ll be hot.”  
that was it for me. i couldn’t believe he was saying this and i couldn’t believe there was even 1% that actually thought that was hot.   
“ok, so i’ll talk to you again when you actually become draco malfoy.” i said stepping away. “for now, i’m just going to go.”  
draco sneered after me. “yeah, come back when you’ve thought over my offer.” he whispered to me before i walked away quickly.  
i found everyone sitting around, our orders had already been delivered and i grabbed my butter beer and clenched it between my two hands. it wasn’t that cold but i still shivered mostly because the thought that draco had kissed me minutes after fred had, disgusted me.   
“so, you’re here to take orders too?” i asked george and he nodded. “business isn’t booming right now in the store because of the whole, voldemort business, and it doesn’t help that our target audience is still in school.”  
i nodded. “well, we’ll catch up with you two later?” i asked but fred shook his head. “no, come with us. we can take orders with more than two people.”   
hermione raised an eyebrow and i remembered my promise to her that i wouldn’t leave her.   
“yeah, we can all go.” i suggested. “we’ll go to zonkos and you can talk to people there.”  
fred nodded but he looked a little disappointed. like he wanted us to go alone. but it was fine. it was more fun if we were all together, besides. it would give me less time to think about draco. i mean, not that i was going to think about draco. that wasn’t even in the question. there’s no way i was going out with draco even though a very small part of me did think it would be hot. what would dating draco in secret even look like? he would push me up against the walls a lot. especially in empty hallways. he would definitely trail his hands up my robe. and maybe even grab my hair while pulling me closer to him. it probably wouldn’t be as deep as it was with fred because fred went so much slower, but with draco it would be more.   
i found myself comparing kissing draco to kissing loki. neither of which should have even happened.   
i watched fred while he talked to students until the manager finally came and kicked us out for stealing their customers and then we were forced to talk to students in the streets. luna seemed to be enjoying that particularly. at one point i thought she was making up things that weren’t even real products. but people seemed to buy it. literally. i made a note to tell fred and george to ask luna for ideas. maybe even put her on the development team. i had a lot of fun with fred and when the day finally ended, it kind of sucked that i had to leave him.  
“you are coming to see me again?” fred asked before he kissed me.   
“yes.” i said. “how does next week sound?”  
“too far.” fred said with a dramatic sigh. “but i suppose it’s worth it.”  
i smiled before saying goodbye to him.  
“i’m so happy you two are together.” luna said and i smiled at her wondering why she cared.   
“hey luna, how would you feel if i told the twins that you could help them come up with idea fro products?” i asked.  
“seriously?” she asked,   
“well yeah, i heard you talk to all those people. you came up with things on the spot. i think you’d do great.”  
“yeah, i think i could give it ago. i’ll come up with ideas right away!” she said excitedly.   
hermione caught up to me. i was surprised she kept her curiosity in check this long.   
“yes, fred and i are together.” i said before she even asked. “listen, you were right. there’s no point in thinking about the future. with the war, none of really know what’s going to happen.”  
she nodded. “finally.”   
“right because you’re one to talk. you’ve been crushing on that boy since he offered to sacrifice himself during the chess match for the sorcerers stone and you still haven’t told him.”  
“that’s different.” she said defensively.   
“yeah? how?”  
“well; because he doesn’t know.”  
“oh hermione.” i shook my head but didn’t say anything. i couldn’t believe ron had come with us and not with lavender to be honest, but i think he managed to get out of it by telling her that he was going with neville and luna too.   
“ron.” i said. “how’d you manage to get out of going with lavender anyway?”  
“oh she had plans with her friends that she didn’t want to get out of.” he said.   
“and it had nothing to do with you telling fred to come down?”  
“no, i wish i had thought of that, believe me. but that wasn’t me.”   
i furrowed my eyebrows. i really thought it was him. “so fred came by himself?” i muttered more to myself. “how did he even know i wanted to see him.”   
“maybe he didn’t.” harry said. “he probably just wondered if you were ok.”   
“right.” i muttered. “i shouldn’t think too much into it.”  
“no.” harry agreed.  
i stopped harry for a moment and waited until the others were out of earshot.   
“hey so harry.” i said awkwardly. “remember our plan for me to be nice to malfoy until he gets to a point where he trusts me enough to tell me what he’s doing?”  
“yeah.” harry said. “i was there when we came up with it.”  
“first of all, now is not the time for sass.” i said. “also, that plan. might have backfired.”  
“backfired? how?” he asked.  
i didn’t know how to tell him what had happened. “well. he sort of. thinks i like him.”  
“that’s the point.” harry said.   
“no i mean. /like/ him.” i intertwined my fingers and dropped my voice to the point i couldn’t even hear myself. “harry. he /kissed/ me.”   
“what?”   
“yeah.”  
“no, i mean, what did you say i couldn’t hear you.”  
i sighed and repeated it a little louder. “he kissed me harry.”  
“what?!” same word completely different tone.   
“it was so gross.” i said. “but what am i supposed to do now?”  
“stop then.” he said. “no but you can’t.” we started walking again so we wouldn’t be late.   
“no, harry. i have to stop. i can’t.”  
“what does he want anyway?” harry asked.   
“he wants a secret relationship.” i whisperered.  
“i thought he was with pansy.”  
“me too honestly. how am i supposed to make him stop.”  
“maybe you don’t.” harry said thoughtfully.  
“no! harry! he could be a death eater!”  
“which is exactly why we need to figure out what he’s doing.” harry countered but there was no way i was going to listen to this.  
“you know i love you and i’d do a lot of things for you, but there is no way i’m letting dracos tongue into my mouth just to find out what he’s up to!”  
apparently our friends had slowed down because by the last word we had caught up to them.  
“not draco again?” ron asked.  
“no. what makes you think that?” harry asked.  
“what he’s up to?” ron said in quotes.  
“fine. but there has been a development.”  
i gave him a death glare. if he told them draco kissed me i was going to stupefy him on the spot.  
“he actually might like rose.” harry finished which wasn’t much better but at least he hadn’t mentioned the kiss.   
“like her?” ron asked. “oh no does this have to do with your plan to follow him again?”  
harry nodded but hermione said. “don’t be fooled, draco doesn’t like you. he isn’t capable of that.” but the conversation ended there because luna and neville were looking between us curiously.  
“what was that?” neville asked me.   
“draco, he’s sort of up to something. but we don’t know what.” i said and he nodded thoughtfully.   
“isn’t he always though?” he asked and i nodded.  
“yeah but this is different. notice how he and his friends haven’t even bullied us that much this year?”  
“yeah, i have.” neville said. “i thought that was just because of the events on at the ministry, they’re a little scared of us.”  
i actually scoffed. “come on neville. you’re smarter than that. they’re not scared.”  
i thought they would leave it alone when we got to the great hall for dinner but hermione was clear in her expression that she was not about to let the subject go.   
i made sure to sit facing the slytherin table and apparently draco had the same idea because he kept throwing me small sneering looks throughout dinner.  
i hoped hermione wouldn’t notice but she did and everytime she noticed me stari at him she slapped me and i looked away.   
the hogwarts halloween feast was amazing as usual but after my day at hogsmeade i wasn’t hungry at all.   
“stop staring at him!” hermione breathed at me.  
“i’m not staring at him because i like him.” i breathed back. “it’s more of an unbelievable stare. because i can’t believe him.”  
she didn’t rely because it was the end of dinner, when we got up and walked back to the dormitory, she said “you know he’s playing you right?”  
i shook my head. “maybe, but it doesn’t feel like it.”  
“what? are you seriously considering it?”  
“of course not, hermione. i’m in love with fred-“ i stopped. i hadn’t meant to say it but it’s not like it wasn’t true. we had spent five years together and he was always there. it wasn’t a stretch to fall in love with him.   
“you- love him?” ron asked from behind me. “oh that’s really not good.”   
“no it’s not.” i whispered. “but i am.”  
“so definitely no to draco then.” harry asked.  
“it was always definitely no to Draco.” i said. “but, why would he play me?”  
“because, he knows harry was on the train remember? listening to him? and he thinks you let him in. clearly he thinks you think he’s up to something.”  
“he’s right and he definitely is up to something.” harry interrupted.  
“right, and he knows harry will never be his friend. so he probably thinks he can get you on his side.”  
“you think he’s doing to me exactly what i’m trying to do to him?” i asked.  
“well, but he probably thinks that you’re being nice to him on purpose so he won’t give anything up.”  
“this is unnecessarily confusing.” i said shaking my head. “but weirdly i understand perfectly.”  
i took a deep breathe. “yeah so if he thinks i’m watching him, he’ll be on extra guard, so i should just back off for now right?”  
“no, that’s exactly what will make him more vulnerable.” harry said thoughtfully.  
“how is him being more on guard going to make him more vulnerable?” i asked.  
“because, he’s going to try to be so careful that he’ll let something slip.”  
“harry, i don’t think he’s that smart.” i said.   
just then, lavender came by and tapped ron on the shoulder. he got up and left with her and i sighed looking at hermione.  
“i’m fine.” she said. but she pointedly avoided looking at ron in the armchair and lavender on his lap and their arms and lips locked into each other.  
harry took a look at them but turned back to me. “i’m not saying do that-“  
“no harry.” i said firmly. “i’m never kissing that boy again.” then i winced.   
“hold on, again?!” hermione exclaimed.  
“well i didn’t kiss him. he kissed me and i pushed him off immediately.” i said.  
“well then i don’t think he’s playing you.” she said doing a full 180. i stared at her.  
“what changed now?”  
“well he kissed you where anyone could have seen him.”  
“yeah doesn’t that just affirm that he was playing me?”  
“no, i think he might actually like you. he wouldn’t have risked kissing you in public if he didn’t.”   
“that doesn’t mean i have to like him back.”  
“no, but draco? showing actual human emotions? that’s so weird.”  
i laughed. but harry didn’t.   
“can we get back to you loving fred?” hermione asked and i shrugged. “it’s not really that big of a deal. he’s amazing.”  
“have you told him?”  
“no.”  
“you should.” she said looking at ron longingly. “tonight.”  
i looked between her and ron. “do you want me to hex him?” i asked.  
she looked for a second like she was contemplating it but finally shook her head.   
“he’s at perfect liberty to kiss whomever he likes.” she said. “i really couldn’t care less.” but it didn’t sound like she couldn’t care less.   
i stood up. “great guess i’ll be right back then.”  
“we’re not done talking about this.” harry said. “even if you’re not with draco we still need a plan.”   
“yeah.” i said. “harry i agree but just, anything that doesn’t have to do with me and him being together ok?”   
and then disappeared on the spot to fred and george’s apartment.  
maybe i shouldn’t have shown up directly in the apartment. i probably should have knocked on the door but i didn’t think about. george, who was cooking something jumped violently while stirring something hot and the sauce splashed all of the kitchen.  
“oh my gosh i’m so sorry!” i said rushing over and wiping everything off his face and healing the burns in a second. i cleaned up the kitchen too.  
“blimey rose! what are you doing here? we just saw you.”  
“yeah, i know. i just have something i need to tell fred. i’ll just be a second.”  
“well stay for dinner then.” he said. “fred’s in his room probably in the shower. he’ll be out in a moment.”   
“oh as much as i would love to stay for dinner i don’t think i could eat another bite.” i said.  
“oh right. the halloween feast. ugh i miss that.” he said longingly.   
i heard the bathroom door in fred’s room open so i excused myself with george and opened his door without knocking. the steam was being let out of the bathroom as fred had just exited it. he had a towel wrapped around his waste and was rubbing his hair with another, smaller towel. he was more ripped than i had expected. he didn’t notice me for a second so i stood there thinking about what i was going to say.  
“blimey rose!” he had the exact same reaction as his twin. “what are you doing here?”   
i opened my mouth and closed it once.   
“i love you.” i said blatantly. “i was just walking back to the common room talking to hermione when i said it to her and i just thought i should tell you.” i turned red. “so um yeah. that’s all. you don’t have to say it back.” i turned to leave but he rushed over and grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the room.  
“i love you too.” he said softly. i out my hand on his chest which was still damp.  
“you do?” i asked suddenly feeling really guilty that draco had kissed me.  
“of course i do, why wouldn’t i?”  
“oh no,” i groaned. “fred i have to tell you something.”  
“yeah?” this time he sounded worried.  
“so remember this morning when you came to see me and i told you i’d meet you inside?” he nodded.   
“well it was because draco kept staring at me and i wanted to know what was wrong with him. and when i went over, well he kissed me.” fred stepped back. “only for a second” i said quickly. “i pulled back so quickly and told him there was something wrong with him.”  
“then why are you telling me?” he asked.  
why was i telling him? i hadn’t told him about when loki had kissed me. what was the difference? this one hadn’t even been real. oh no. i was only telling him about this because it wasn’t real. if it was like loki’s had been i wouldn’t have said anything.   
“there’s nothing. no reason- i just. i’m kind of scared that he might do it again.” i finished lamely.  
“you’re worried he might do it again.”  
“gods this is coming out all wrong.” i groaned. “i just mean, i have no feelings for draco, well no positive ones. you know what he’s like. i just don’t know why he would kiss me.”  
fred was silent for a second.   
“well as long as you have no feelings for him.” he said but it didn’t sound like this was over.  
“fred please.” i pleaded. “i’m sorry, i didn’t expect that.”  
“you shouldn’t have even gone over to him. why were you even going over to him?”  
“because. i wanted to see what he wanted.”  
“that sounds like you care-“  
“no fred it’s more complicated than that.”  
“well then tell me.”  
“i cant.” i whispered blinking back tears. i came to tell him about my feelings, how did it turn out like this?  
“you can’t tell me because there’s something going on between you and draco?”  
“no, fred. absolutely not. i promise. i have no feelings for him. please believe me when i tell you that,”  
“then why are you even talking to him?”  
“it’s complicated, i can’t- i can’t tell you.” i finished quietly. because of anyone found out that draco might have been a death eater, not only would draco be in danger, so would fred, and me and harry, ron and hermione. but especially fred because he wasn’t even at hogwarts anymore.  
“you can’t tell me.” fred repeated.   
“it’ll just put you in danger.”  
“something draco malfoys doing requires you to talk to him. and you can’t tell me because it would put me in danger.” fred summed up. “listen. rose. you came all the way down here to tell me you love me, but also that draco kissed you?”  
“i- well. it wasn’t a real kiss.”  
he stepped back some more and plopped down onto the bed.  
“i do love you.” he said. “and i believe you if you tell me that draco isn’t a threat. i mean obviously. i’m not worried about him. but if he does do it again-“  
“ill stop him.” i said quickly.   
“but i do think you have a lot to figure out.” he said quietly. and i sat down next to him. i thought i knew where this was going.  
“you knew that when you got involved with me.” i said quietly.   
“yeah, when i thought it was just loki-“  
“fred. there’s nothing going on between me and draco. i love /you/“  
“i know.” he said. “but you’re so far away. and we hardly get to see each other. i wouldn’t blame you if- there was someone else. even if it’s not draco.”  
“who else would there be?”  
“loki.” he said quietly.   
“no!” i exclaimed.  
“no, he came down. told me how miserable you were because you couldn’t figure out how to feel about being with me.”  
“loki. came down? and talked to you?” i asked surprised.  
“he’s in love with you rose.” fred said.  
“no he’s not.” i said. “he’s so arrogant, that’ll never work. besides doesn’t what i feel count? do you think just because he might or might now like me i automatically have to like him back?” i was starting to get annoyed because everyone was making decisions for me.  
fred nodded and stood up so i stood up too.  
“i’m doing this because i love you.” he said quietly and his voice broke.   
“no.” i said. “you don’t have to-“  
“i think that you don’t deserve this. i am your friend. i’ll always be your friend. but i think that’s what you need me to be right now.”  
“fred.” i said tearing up and holding his hand. but on some level, i knew he was right. i already had so much to deal with. i couldn’t deal with this too. and just because he said he was ok with getting hurt doesn’t mean i was ok with hurting him.   
“i love you rose. and i think i always will. but for now, i’ll settle for loving you as a friend.”  
“i came here to tell you i love you and we’re breaking up?” i laughed a little and wiped away my tears. “that seems fitting in my life.”  
“i’m so sorry.” he said.  
“me too. but-“ i didn’t know what else to say.  
“i’ll come back next week for the shipment of orders to hogwarts.” i said.   
this time, fred laughed but it was broken quickly. “i can’t believe you can think about that right now.”  
“i care about you. therefore i care about the things you care about.” i whispered. “but i think it’ll be best if i don’t see you next week? maybe i’ll get over being angry at you for breaking up with me after telling me you can handle it, but not by next week.”  
“rose. i’m so sorry. it’s not because i can’t handle it. it’s because i don’t want you to have to.”  
“you don’t get to decide that for me.”  
“but-“  
“and you shouldn’t have told me you were ok with this.” i said firmly. “but. thank you.” i didn’t want to leave him angry, even though i was. i walked out of the room leaving him to get dressed.  
“what’s wrong?” george asked conceded stepping our from behind the island in the kitchen.  
i shook my head. “fred just broke up with me.” i said.   
“no!” he exclaimed. “why?”  
“things are complicated.” i said. “he said he wanted to spare me from the complications.”  
“he’s an idiot.” george whispered. “i’ll talk to him.”  
i shook my head again. “no, he’s kind of right. i mean. that’s exactly why i didn’t come down for weeks and i wish he’d come to the conclusion then, but-“  
this is exactly what i wanted to avoid. it’s why i hadn’t even seen him in weeks. i couldn’t believe that exactly what i wanted to avoid was happening anyway.   
i stopped because i didn’t want to justify anything, not to myself and not to george.   
“i’m sorry rose.” he said quietly his voice dripping with sympathy.  
“i’m going to go, but i’ll be back next friday for the shipment of your stuff.” i said. “i um. would prefer if it were just you there though.”  
he nodded. “you know we have the same face.”  
i laughed lightly. “see you george.” i said and left before i could start crying.


	6. Chapter 6

i disappeared from the apartment back to hogwarts but i didn’t want to go back to the dormitory, not yet. i was sure my friends would still be awake and i couldn’t explain what happened. not when it was so raw. i hated fred. i /told/ him. i told him before he came to that conclusion himself after it was too late. was it only because i told him draco kissed me or was it more than that? loki had been down to see him? he hadn’t mentioned that to me, even though truthfully i guess i wouldn’t expect him to. all he did was meddle in and manipulate my life. why was i surprised then that he prompted fred to come see me. no wonder fred felt threatened. but still. i had told him that i had no feelings for loki and he didn’t believe me. probably for the best though.  
even now as i paced the corridors in hogwarts, the place i most felt at home, i felt completely alone. there was no one i could talk to. nothing i could say. the memories of that single kiss with loki kept popping up in my head. i hated myself for wanting to say it, even for wanting to think it. it was more than that i had feelings for loki, because i didn’t, not good ones anyway. maybe it was just the connection maybe. or maybe the amount of confusion i had over any feelings i had for him. but that one kiss with loki was worth a hundred with fred. the best way to hurt fred would be to tell him exactly that and i actually wanted to go back and tell him that he was right to be worried. but i didn’t. no matter what i felt about him right now, i still did love him, i couldn’t hurt him like that.   
it was dark outside, but it was always dark after five pm, especially in november. i had less than two months left before loki did come down, and i still hadn’t figured out how to tell dumbledore. or anything about how it would work. i suppose i could manipulate everyone’s memories to think he was always a student at hogwarts, but i really didn’t want to. i knew how it felt to be manipulated and i’d done it enough to the students of hogwarts, both for them to forget my outburst in fifth year, and that i was gone in fourth year, and the first couple weeks of that semester.   
what i wanted to do was cry, but i was doing too much of that lately, i was becoming someone i didn’t like. the most powerful sorceress in the universe and here i was crying like a schoolgirl who had her heart broken by a /boy/. but in the end, that’s what i was technically. a heartbroken school girl, all magic forgotten.   
i traced the wall with my fingers as i walked, my finger going up and down on the bumps.   
i was almost to an exit to look over the castle, when i ran into two boys whom i unfortunately knew very well.  
“what are you doing out here all alone?” crabbe, well at least i thought it was crabbe, asked. in 6 years, i had never bothered to learn the difference between him and goyle. i never thought that the information was pertinent. i knew who draco was because he made himself known.   
“what’s it to you?” i asked but my heart wasn’t in it. what could they possibly do to me that was worse than what was happening already?  
“it’s just. a pretty girl like you, roaming these corridors all alone, in the dark,” goyle sneered stepping up to me.  
“aw you think i’m pretty?” i asked in a mutter but tried to push past them. they used their arms as a barricade and pushed me back.  
“seriously, now is not the time to be messing with me.” i said angrily, seconds away from exposing my sorcery to them. even though i knew it was a bad idea to se it in the heat of the moment because it would be bad if the news reached voldemort, i was angry and annoyed.  
just as i was getting ready to push them out of my way and perhaps go even further. draco voice came from behind them, and his silhouette stepped out.   
“what are you two doing?” he asked pulling them away.  
“just having a bit of fun.” crabbe said.   
“how is this fun?” draco asked giving him a disgusted look.  
“she’s one of the four.” goyle justified. “we hate them remember?” he whispered but i heard him and rolled my eyes.   
“look hermione may have been the one to punch malfoy in our third year but consider yourself lucky that he was here to save you now from me.” i said menacingly. all the anger that i had was pouring out.  
“yeah right.” goyle muttered and that was it. draco was still holding his robe from he pulled him off me but let go when i clocked goyle right in the face. he staggered back but i didn’t stop. i punched him in the stomach and he cowered over, so i grabbed his robes and kneed him.  
i was ready to continue hitting him, it was like the night on the train months ago with sirius. but this time, it wasn’t because i felt powerless, although i might have been powerless to stop myself. i was angry. angry at fred. angry at my father, angry at loki. angry at sirius for dying and leaving me. angry because no one would understand what i was going through. all of my beater energy was coming out right now, and i just couldn’t stop. i was pulling my arm back to hit i’m again but someone grabbed it.  
“rose stop! stop!” draco malfoy held my arm agains my chest holding me.  
“let. go. of. me!” i said a pause punctuating each word. but he didn’t. from the way he looked, i wasn’t expecting him to be strong. but he was stronger than he looked. crabbe and goyle had run away with a lot of “she’s mental!” before draco let me go, well, he still had a hold of my arms.  
“you’re not going to punch me are you?” he asked.  
“not unless you don’t let me go.” i muttered breathing hard. and he let me go quickly.   
“what was that?”  
“ask your friends.” i said. “they started it.”  
i started walking away but draco followed me.  
“you’re not ok.” he observed.   
“yeah, i am.” i muttered trying to get him to leave me alone.   
“no.” he insisted firmly. “what happened.”   
i stopped walking and sighed. “nothing. draco, can you just leave me alone.”  
“not until you tell me what’s wrong.”  
“why do you care?”   
he didn’t answer. he paused thinking for a second.  
“see? that requires a thought.” i said resuming walking away. he stared after me for a second but then ran to catch up.   
“no. sorry. i didn’t need to think about it, i was just surprised you asked me.”  
“why are you always like this?” i asked quietly. “some days you’re a complete jerk, and then like now.-“ i sighed again. “fred broke up with me.” i said.  
draco looked like he was trying to look sympathetic.   
“i’m sorry.” he said.   
“no you’re not.” i said. “you kissed me when he was right across the street.”  
“that’s not why you broke up? is it?” he asked trying not to sound too curious.  
“wouldn’t you like to know.” i muttered.  
“it doesn’t matter.”   
“of course it does.” i said. “i told him. before that my life was complicated and he was all “it’s ok ro. we can make it work. i care about you.” and then /one/ thing happens and he decides that it’s too much for him to take.” i hadn’t meant to go on a rant. especially not to draco. it took so much to not mention loki on accident.   
“he’s an idiot.” draco said just as george had.  
“i’m the idiot.” i countered.   
“voldemort gave me a task to do.” draco said so quietly that i almost didn’t hear him.  
“what?” i asked quietly concerned, stopping to turn around and look at him. a year had formed in his eyes.   
“i can’t tell you.” he said.   
i continued staring at him, watching him. was this it? was he going to tell me exactly what i wanted to hear about what he was up to?   
“i think i already know.” i whispered not knowing why.   
“y-you do?” he looked a little scared.   
“well, no. not what you’re up to. but draco. you’ve flinched everytime ive touched you arm.” as if for example i reached out and grabbed his arm again and on cue he flinched and pulled it back. then looked like he regretted that action.   
“you have it. dont you?” i asked quietly making sure no one was around.   
he stared at me in fear.  
“you don’t have to say anything.” i said knowing he couldn’t confirm it.   
“he’ll- he’ll kill me. if he knows you found out.” he said terrified.  
“i can make you forget.” i stepped closer to him.   
“draco, if you want, i can make you forget that you told me. it’ll be like this never happened. it’ll be the only way he won’t find this memory.”  
“you can do that?” i figures if he was going to forget anyway, there was no harm in telling him right?  
“i have magic.”  
“i know. we’re wizards.”  
“no, i mean, i have more magic than that. i can make you forget about the memory.”  
“more magic?” he sounded confused.   
i smiled. but it was more of a watery smile even though i wasn’t crying.   
“so before i take your memory of this moment, is there anything you want to see?” i asked.  
“what do you mean?”  
“just. anywhere you’ve always dreamed of going. or anything you want.”  
“i want to see the future.” draco said quietly.   
“depends on whose future.” i said knowing perfectly well what he meant. “because of you want to see yours. well technically you can, but it won’t turn out like that. because you’ll try your best to change it.”  
“won’t i forget though?” he asked.  
“oh yeah.” i said. “ok. when do you want to go to?”  
draco thought for a second. “end of this year.”  
“december?”  
“no, end of this /school/ year.” he clarified.   
“hey, are you sure this is a good idea?” i asked, lightly. because i suddenly didn’t want to know. taking draco that close into the future would mean i would be there, and i didn’t want to know what was happening.  
the quick solution would be to just wipe his memory, before he could remember. just a few minutes. right up till the point after i told him fred and i had broken up. but after looking into his eyes for a second, i wanted to show him what he wanted. even if it was a disaster, well. he wouldn’t remember and maybe i’d have time to plan something to stop it. i couldn’t believe i hadn’t thought of it before. i think it was mostly just because i didn’t want to see the future since i knew it usually never worked out like that.   
“ok.” i nodded grabbing his hand. and we ended up in the exact same spot 8 months from that day. i didn’t know what day it was exactly. but i had a feeling that was the important day.   
“come on, let’s go find you.” i said grabbing his hand.  
“what if someone sees us?”  
“no one can see us.” i said making sure that we could only see each other.  
“i can’t believe this.” he muttered. “you have this much magic? no one knows?”  
i shook my head.  
“not even potter?”  
“no.” i lied pointlessly. “where do you think you’d be?”   
he thought for a second. “let’s go to the slytherin common room.”  
i followed him down to the dungeon. he said the password for the entrance and we walked through the doors. i had never been in their room. i was supposed to technically in second year, but hermione needed me to stay with her after accidentally using cat hair in the potion so i didn’t go with them.   
there was as much green in here as there was red in ours, and the snake crest hung ever few feet on the walls. i waited downstairs while draco went to go check the dorms to see if he was there. he came back down the stairs shaking his head and breathing hard.   
“there’s only one place else i can think of that i could have gone.” he said breathing hard and shaking.  
“we don’t have to do this you know.” i said softly. “we can just go back now.”   
but draco had already left the common room. i sighed and followed him. he ran up the stairs to the seventh floor when there was a loud bang coming from beneath us.   
and then a scream. draco started running towards the noise and i followed him.   
it was dark but i could still pretty much tell what was happening. hermione, ron, ginny, neville and luna were fighting four fully grown people. where was i? where was loki?   
“who are they?” i asked after noticing dracos expression. he looked sick and terrified but also triumphant. “draco, what did you do?” the sickening feeling was starting to creep into me too. what had draco done? these people looked like death eaters. i recognized them vaguely from the ministry a few months ago.   
“are they. death eaters?” i asked trying to stay calm.   
but draco didn’t answer. “i did this.” he muttered. “i did this. how could i do this?”  
“what exactly did you do?” i asked staring at the scene.   
“i fixed the vanishing cabinet. in the room of requirement.” he muttered and suddenly it all fit together. why he was going into the room of requirement,that’s why voldemort had made him a death eater. he was the only one who could get those people into the castle. but how did he even know there was one in hogwarts? but then it clicked. in our second year. fred and george had stuffed blaise zabini into a cabinet in the room of requirement where he had disappeared for a few hours. draco much have put it together.   
“we have to stop them.” he said. “you have to stop them.”  
“i can’t.” i whispered. “i can’t interfere.but i’m here, i’m sure. and loki is too.”  
“who?”  
“nothing.” i muttered.   
“there’s nothing i can do to stop this?” draco asked.  
i shook my head.” you can’t interfere.”  
“not now. i mean. before.” his voice shook.   
“i-“ i wasn’t sure. “i’d have to ask.”   
“ask?”  
“there’s a man, i’ve heard of. i said hesitantly. “i’ve never met him, but i’ve heard stories. if anyone would know. he would. he’s a time traveler. and all he does is help i’ve heard.   
“come on we need to go back.” i grabbed his hand but before i could go back to our own time. i saw myself running down. “oh thank god.” i thought to myself. at least i was still there, helping.   
within a minute, all the death eaters had started to run away. in a split seconds decision, i decided to follow them. now me, not future me. she stood by her friends to make sure they were all ok.  
“where are you going?” draco asked.   
“to see if there’s a way to fix /your/ mess.” said before taking off.   
i followed them all the way to the bell tower, the bell tower where harry stood. he was under his invisibility cloak, but i could see him, because i was looking for anything out of the ordinary.   
“severus.” a muttering came from above and i looked up. draco was holding a wand out to dumbledore, snape stood in front of him and bellatrix lestrange stood behind him.   
“do it draco.” she said menacingly.   
“severus please.” dumbledore muttered again.   
and that’s when it happened, so quickly i didn’t even have time to gasp.   
“avada kedavra” snape waved his wand, and dumbledore was falling. falling to hit the ground. dead before the impact could kill him.   
i stood horrorstruck but i couldn’t even scream. i watched as harry pulled off his invisibility clock, he was obviously under the immobulus jinx that had broke. when dumbledore died. i watched as harry ran after snape, but i didn’t bother following them.   
there was nothing i could do. i dragged myself down to the corridor where i had left then draco. too many things had happened that night.   
“your mission. it’s to kill dumbledore?” i asked menacingly pushing him up against the wall in a choke hold when i found him.  
he started crying. like full on broke down. “please. he made me. he’ll kill me. he’ll kill my whole family.” i loosened my grip on him a bit.   
“he’s making you kill dumbledore?” i repeated.   
“did i- do it?” he asked horrified.   
“no.” i said plainly. i wasn’t about to repeat what i had just seen. i was too busy downstairs helping my friends that i couldn’t save dumbledore. what if i went back to my own time and asked snape why he did it? but that was obvious wasn’t it? he was a death eater once. harry told me that after he saw the memory in fourth year. dumbledore had vouched for him, but no one actually knew why he had switched.   
i didn’t know what i was feeling. dumbledore was dead and even though draco hadn’t done it directly. it had been his fault. i knew i couldn’t tell harry about it because he’d consult draco directly and of course that would put him in danger.   
i was shaking,   
“what do we do?” dracos voice suddenly brought me back to the moment.  
“i don’t know.” i said truthfully. “hold on.” i closed my eyes and used my magic to try to figure out where the doctor was. it wasn’t simple exactly, but if i knew a persons name or face. i could find them. problem was. i neither knew the doctors name nor face. but i could send a message across the universe that i was sure he’d run into eventually. i sent out the date, november 2nd 2016 and the time 9pm, using the words come to hogwarts grounds and hoped he would get the message.   
“come on.” i said violently pulling him away “let’s hope the doctor got my message.”  
i took one last look at the seen. the death eaters had gone but i could see myself walking towards the great hall with my friends. i couldn’t see loki anywhere, but at that moment, that was the least of my concerns.   
“the doctor?” draco asked but his voice broke.  
“shut up.” i muttered. i did not want to hear his voice. i knew he didn’t have a choice but that didn’t make it any more ok in my mind.   
i dragged us both back to our time, to the same spot. “stay here.” i said and i turned to leave, but realized that was probably a bad idea. i didn’t know what draco would do especially with the knowledge of the future. “no, on second thought, come with me.” before he could say anything i grabbed his arm and pulled him out with me. he would not stop crying.  
“pull it together.” i scolded.  
“how can i?” he hiccuped. “i’ve seen what i am going to do.”  
“and i’m going to try my best to stop it.” i said.  
“if you stop it. i die.”   
“i’m not going to let that happen either.” i muttered. i looked around but there was no sign of anyone.   
“do you have the time?” i asked.  
he looked down after wiping his eyes. “9:28”  
he should be here any moment. hopefully he had gotten the message. i had heard that he was powerful even though he didn’t have magic. he was a time traveler, hopefully he had more to offer than i had in this situation. i had two minutes to piece together what i had seen.   
“so, you fix the vanishing cabinet, and let in death eaters.” i muttered. “then, dumbledore is murdered on the clock tower. but. it’s 9 at night. what’s harry doing up there?” that was the only part that i was confused by. what was harry doing up there? and dumbledore had immobilized him and was /asking/ for snape? he looked like he was weak. stumbling even. i had never seen dumbledore like that. what if. they had planned that? harry had lessons with dumbledore. but what had weakened him? would i have to wait until that night to find out?   
a whooshing sound came out of nowhere and my hair was blown completely out of place. a blue box with the words “police box” had materialized in the middle of the field.   
“police box?” draco muttered. “thought you said he was a doctor. and how is this supposed to help anyway?”  
i ignored him and ran towards the box. a tall lanky man wearing suspenders and a bow tie stepped out.   
“hello.” he said looking at me and then around. “it’s 9:30 pm. november 2nd hogwarts? i assume you sent me the message?”  
i nodded staring at him in awe.   
he watched me for a second too and i completely forgot why i had even asked him here.   
“hi.” i said. “i’m rose.”  
“i knew a rose.” he said stepping out of the box. “no relation to rose tyler?”  
i looked at him curiously. “you know, /last/ names indicate relation.” i said before shaking my head. “i’m sorry to call you here so abruptly doctor. but i’ve heard about you. a lot. and i, well. we,” i pointed at draco who looked like he was going to throw up. “need your help.”  
the doctor nodded morosely. “rose. i- yes. what is it?”  
“well, i was wondering, if i could change the future.” i said vaguely.  
“everyone can change the future.” he said. i closed my eyes.   
“no, what i mean is. i sort of, went to his future and. something bad happens. and well, i can stop it now through then. but then something entirely different will happen.”  
“and did you see what happens after this, bad thing happens?” he asked quietly studying me.  
i looked away because i did not like the way he was looking at me. “not exactly.” i muttered.   
“rose. i’m don’t know you yet. and i’ve never heard of hogwarts before now. but i read up on the place before coming. it’s a school of witchcraft and wizardry isn’t it? which means you’re a witch? how did you even manage to see the future?”  
“i’m not a witch. exactly.” i said unsure of whether or not i should tell him.   
“no? then what are you?”  
“i don’t even know you yet. i don’t trust you.” i said honestly.  
“no of course not. not with who your father is.”  
“wait, you know?”  
“come on. i get a message halfway across the universe from someone and you think i’m just going to show up at that specified time without prior research?”  
“well-“ i didn’t know how to answer that. “hold on. have you been watching me?”  
“not watching exactly.” he said sheepishly. “i just popped in on you from time to time, to make sure you weren’t dangerous. but i never even knew your name until now.”  
“did you happen to pop in on me two years ago?” i asked my stomach dropping.  
“two years? no, a couple of times when you were a kid and then a couple of days ago. to make sure you didn’t grow up dangerous.”  
“well. i am dangerous. just not to you.” i said.   
“oh i don’t doubt it.” he said. “anyway, to your problem at hand. rose. can you tell me the problem?”  
“draco does something that leads to something else, and i can stop it now.” i said. “can i stop it now?”  
“how?”  
“i don’t know.” i said honestly.   
“i wouldn’t.” he said. “this timeline, your timeline. it’s very complicated. i know what’s happening in this world. the war. with voldemort. things are very vertical. i’m afraid that if you change something, it may disrupt everything.”  
“so you’re telling me i just have to erase dracos memory and spend the next 8 months pretending nothing happened?”  
“well. i can take your memories too.” he said quietly.   
“you can?”  
“well, yes, just of the night until now.”  
“but then i won’t remember meeting you?”  
“no.” he said. “but i think it might be for the best.”  
“but-“ but i thought about it for a second. there was no way i could have sat through the next eight months without doing anything. especially when i knew what it was going to end in. how could i sit in snapes classroom? how could i not tell harry without getting draco killed? suddenly the thought that fred had broken up with me just hours ago seemed so small, so insignificant i almost laughed that i had wanted to cry about that.   
“yeah.” i said finally. “yeah, take my memory and his too. but mine only after draco told me he was a death eater and his right before.”  
the doctor nodded. and went into his police box to bring something out.  
“you’re making the right choice.” he said, as i pulled draco to me.   
“he’s doing it?” draco asked.   
“i want to forget too.” i said quietly. “draco. he said i can’t stop you. things have to play out like they do. and.” i took a shaky breathe. “i can’t have this memory and not try to stop you. so i’m giving it up too.”   
i felt evil. like i was letting dumbledore die. but this wasn’t my fault, i hadn’t killed him. and the doctor, though i didn’t know him, was right. he did have experience with time travel, and there was something about his eyes that i trusted.   
“i’m sure you’re not ready, but-“ he pointed the small device and buzzed it. suddenly, my whole world was spinning, and i was standing exactly where the doctor left us, but this time it was just me and draco.

“you and fred broke up?” draco asked again, because that’s where we had left off.   
“i don’t think we’re allowed to be out here.” i said walking back into the castle. “we’re going to get detention if we’re caught.”  
“since when do you care about detention?” draco asked.   
“i care!” i said indignantly. “how did we even walk this far?” i didn’t know if draco noticed but i felt like i had a hole in the whole evening.   
“we walked.” he said like it was obvious. i was still a little hesitant to accept that i could have walked all the way here seconds ago without vivid memory of it, but i couldn’t figure out why i wouldn’t have walked down here so i just let it go.   
“we were talking about you and fred.” he reminded me. i stopped walking. “actually, /you/ were talking about me and fred. /i/ am trying to get back to my common room so i don’t get detention, especially with you.”  
“have you thought any more about what i said to you hogsmeade?” he asked.   
i scoffed. he didn’t remember but i knew that he was a death eater. i knew he had taken the oath to be loyal to voldemort and that made me sick. even though i had a feeling it wasn’t his fault. his whole family was fucked up. he probably didn’t even have a choice. but sirius’s family had been a mess too and as much as regulus might have been a death eater at first, sirius never became one. he ran away from him before he could be influenced by them. but he had made amazing friends at hogwarts. who did draco have besides two other death eater friends?  
“no. i haven’t thought about it.” i said. “like you said. fred /just/ broke up with me.”   
“which is exactly why you can now run around in secret with me without feeling any guilt.” draco said.   
we had just got back to the corridors.   
“i will see you in potions tomorrow.” and i walked away.   
back in the common room, everyone had gone to bed. i figured they thought i’d be staying the night so they hadn’t bothered to stay up and wait for me.   
i sat on the big red armchair a little away from the flames that were dying out. in some ways, i felt like those flames. i too was dying out. i didn’t know what else to do. draco being a death eater wasn’t exactly news. harry had figured as much. but if i confirmed it to harry. it would just get him to confront draco and draco didn’t know i knew. plus, i knew that voldemort could see into harry’s head which meant that wiping dracos memory would have been useless if he could have just gotten it from harry. i didn’t care much anymore that fred had broken up with me. i kind of felt relieved that he had gotten himself out of my mess.   
i didn’t know what was going to happen in two months, but i knew it couldn’t be good.   
i didn’t even realize when i fell asleep curled up on that armchair.   
i was woken up the next morning by the steady footsteps of Gryffindors coming down the stairs. i wiped my face and took the hair out of my eyes before quickly running to the bathroom to brush my teeth before hermione could come down.   
the bathroom was almost empty as only a couple of girls were awake. as soon as i washed my face and brushed my teeth, i went back up to the dorms to get my books and change into my robe. that’s when hermione woke up.   
“hey!” she whispered yawning. “rose?”   
i nodded at her and looked at the sleeping girls before whispering. “meet me downstairs.” she nodded but curled up under the blanket again for a second. i didn’t blame her. november in london was freezing. plus we didn’t have class for another hour, but we did have to get down to the great hall for breakfast.  
hermione came down the stairs all dressed up, i was sitting on the same armchair i had fallen asleep on, reading up on a runes chart that i had neglected until that morning.   
“so what happened?” hermione asked excitedly. “i was hoping to ask you last night but i figured you might have stayed after 9:30.”  
i smiled and got up. “actually.” i said without feeling bad about what happened. “fred and i, sort of. broke up.”   
hermione reacted just like i expected. he smile fell and she her eyebrows furrowed. “what? what do you mean you broke up?! i thought you went to tell him you loved him!”  
“i did tell him.” i shrugged.   
“then?”  
“he said he loved me too.”  
hermione looked confused. “then what’s the problem?”  
“the problem. is loki.” i said. “looming over my life like a shadow that’s blocking me out from the sun on a freezing day.”   
“loki?” she asked even more confused. “but fred knows about him.”  
“yeah, apparently. he’s the one that went down to tell fred to meet me at hogsmeade. and well, fred seems to think that i have feelings for him. or that things are too complicated. or something. which is what i told him before we even started dating and he assured me it was completely ok.”   
hermione didn’t know what to say so i continued. “it’s ok hermione. really. i’m actually. kind of glad fred got out of my mess now, when he can. i don’t know. i just think we have bigger problems to deal with.”  
“well yes. we do. but. that doesn’t make it ok.”  
“well, no. it doesn’t. but i am. i didn’t fall in love with aliyah, and i shouldn’t have let myself fall in love with him. but it’s not his fault, ok it is. he should have realized that he didn’t want to make my life more complicated sooner, but.” i shrugged again. “anyway. let’s not tell ron and harry just yet. i kind of haven’t even fully realized it myself.”  
hermione looked like she wanted to cry for me.   
“oh hermione.” i said sighing. “i wish this didn’t have to happen too. i’ve never met anyone like fred. well. george, but even between them, i’ve never met anyone like fred. i shouldn’t have gotten involved with him. it was my fault.”  
“actually this time it’s his.” she said quietly. “you did tell him. many times. this ones on fred.” yeah of course she’d say that. i didn’t tell her that i told him that draco kissed me. i also hadn’t told her that when loki kissed me, i had felt something i’d never even felt with fred.   
when harry and ron came downstairs i nudged her so she would take that pitying look off her face.   
“hey you’re already up!” ron pointed out. “ro, how did last night go?”  
“oh it went!” i said plastering my face with a fake smile.  
“what does that mean?” harry asked.   
“oh just that she had a time.” hermione said.   
“boy i sure did.” i said using the gen z tactic to be super cryptic about how it went.   
“ooook.” ron said. “well. i’m, able to get that.” he said deploying the same tactic we were using. “well should we walk down to the great hall and you can tell us about it?”  
“actually. i’d rather not.” i said. “not yet.”ron nodded but harry looked at me curiously. just then, ginny came down the stairs and ran up to us.   
“listen, harry, our next match is in a couple of weeks, you want to get together to discuss strategy?”  
half the team was standing right there so we all nodded. but dean came down the stairs and she waved to us to go join him. harry stared at her longingly which hermione noticed too. i felt bad for him. when ginny had a crush on him, he didn’t seem to notice her, now when he had a crush on her. she was with dean.   
i watched harry closely as we walked down to the great hall together. he was silent at first. like he was imagining something to with punching dean in the face. but by the time we sat down, he was perfectly normal. hermione, like she had the last few days, sat the furthest away from ron she could. she hadn’t spoken to him in days, and i wasn’t going to get involved in that. ron had to come to his senses on his own.   
i had almost forgotten that draco had confirmed he was a death eater. it wasn’t like i could have done anything with the information anyway. plus i don’t know what he was up to except that he was spending time in the room of requirement.   
“what do we do about our draco problem?” i asked harry casually. he was sitting next to me one one side and hermione was on the other so she heard me.  
“first of all. we don’t have a draco problem.” she said hostilely.   
“no, we actually might.” i said as close to saying he was a death eater without actually saying that he was a death eater.   
“what do you mean?”  
“i just. ran into him last night.” i said. “well technically his friends ran into me. and uh. i’m pretty sure he was coming out of the room of requirement again. at 9 at night.”  
“what were you doing back here at 9?” ron asked.   
oops. “i- meant. alright fine. i was back here at night. i was actually back in the common room by 10, but you had already went to bed. “ i said truthfully.  
ron looked like he wanted to ask more but harry was more concentrated on malfoy and luckily ron just turned back to the food.  
“fine you ran into crabbe and goyle. what happened?” i looked over at the slytherin table. malfoy had just walked in with crabbe and goyle who had a very black eye and a broken nose that i figured he would have gotten fixed. maybe he was going to go after breakfast.  
“that.” i said gesturing at goyles face.   
“you did that to him?” ron asked in awe. “damn that’s almost as cool as when hermione punched draco in the face.” hermione looked please at that compliment but the look quickly fell off her face as she realized it was ron who had said it, and ron faltered remembering she wasn’t speaking to him.   
“that is cool.” harry said but hermione looked worried.   
“you don’t think he’ll report you, do you?”  
“then he’ll have to explain why i punched him.” i said shrugging. “and i would like to see him do that.”   
“did you see what malfoy was doing?” harry asked.  
“inside the room? no. but he was acting pretty shifty when he came out. harry. maybe you should just try to get to the room by asking it.”  
“well that won’t work” hermione said with an air of superiority.  
“why not?” harry asked leaning past me. “malfoy was able to get in last year when we were doing da.”  
“yeah, well, he knew exactly what we were doing in there remember? henrietta blabbed? this time though, you have no idea what he’s doing so you won’t be able to get through the door. not to him anyway.” but it didn’t look like harry was listening.   
“no? well i’m going to try anyway.” he said. hermione sighed like she was annoyed but i nudged her lightly to let it go and she did. she was right, i didn’t think about that, i didn’t even know how it worked really since i had missed the da lessons last year. i had never used the room of requirement before.   
our first class, charms was fun that day, but i couldn’t really pay much attention. how do you just over the fact that a student at your school is a death eater? my mind kept wandering to what draco could have possibly been doing. and there was a small nagging feeling that i was missing something, something obvious and right in front of me. no matter what draco said. we hadn’t walked down to the courtyard last night.   
draco didn’t bring up anything during potions which i was glad for. i knew he wouldn’t. not with both his friends and mine sitting right there. but i felt like that boy was losing his mind.  
we worked on our potion in silence mostly, only talking when we needed to point out something the other was doing wrong. as usual, harry had the best potion in the class and slughorn praised him above all else.   
“how are you doing that?” i asked him finally. i meant to ask before but i had so much on my mind i just sort of forgot.   
“oh he didn’t tell you?” hermione butted in. i looked at her.   
“tell me what?”  
“his book.” she said. “it’s been notated in by someone called.”  
“the half blood prince.” harry finished. “and hermione, don’t start again. please.”  
“start what?” i asked wondering how i could have possibly missed this. was i really that preoccupied with my own life?  
“she’s been complaining about using this book for weeks.” harry said.  
“how did, when did you manage to tell him off?”  
“well, you spent a lot of time in the library, didn’t you?” hermione asked sheepishly. “i sort of, forgot it for the last few days honestly.”  
“hold on. harry, can i see the book?” i asked.  
“yeah, in the common room. why?” he asked.  
“well, nothing. i just. want to know what information he has.” i said. but in reality. i wanted to see if the prince had written anything about the room of requirement. he too, like the marauders had probably been a student at hogwarts, which meant maybe he had information about some thing. maybe he even knew a thing or two about dark arts and how to stop them.   
when classes ended, and we got back to the common room, ron left us to go sit with lavender and hermione’s face was expressionless. harry, oblivious, pulled out the potions book and handed it to me. it was super tattered and all inked up.   
“how did i miss this?” i muttered taking the book from him.  
“well you’ve been caught up in your own stuff haven’t you?” hermione tried to justify but i shook my head.   
“no, you’re my best friends. i should know what’s going on in your lives. anything else you want to tell me harry.”  
he turned his head for a glimpse at ginny who was sharing a chair with dean, for just a second. it was almost undetectable but we saw it.   
“no.” he said.  
i looked at him, and then at ginny and dean. and back at him again. “right.” i said. “well, whenever you want to admit that you have a crush on ginny-“  
harry turned bright red. “no. i don’t-“ he spluttered. “how did you even know? no.”   
“come on harry.” hermione said. “it’s ok. it’s not that unbelievable.”   
“yeah. she’s pretty great.” i said.   
“yeah, well. i dont. can we just-“ he muttered. i smiled and looked back at the book running my fingers over the cover before cracking the book open.   
“this book is the property of the half blood prince.” i muttered reading the first page. “wonder why he left it. if it’s this informative.”  
“maybe he didn’t need it anymore.” harry shrugged.   
“or maybe he’s dead.” i muttered.  
“that’s a happy thought.” hermione said.  
“yeah well. can you think another reason?” i asked.   
neither of them said anything.   
i turned the pages and the first few were just tweaks to the potions that had already been written.   
there were a couple of spells written on the margins further into the book.   
“muffliato?” i asked looking up.  
“yeah, it makes it impossible to hear the person who cast it.” harry said. “we tried it- i tried it.” he said at the look cast by hermione.   
“that’s useful.” i continued reading.   
“what are you even looking for?” hermione asked. i shrugged.  
“anything to do with dark magic and how to stop it.” i said. “or maybe secrets about hogwarts that this prince might have discovered in their time here.”  
hermione didn’t look happy that i was going through the book, and that i was basically approving of harry using this unknown princes book. but i had no choice. how else was i going to stop draco?   
after a while of reading mostly the margins. i handed the book back to harry.  
“find anything?” he asked.  
“no,” i said. “but harry. i wouldn’t use sectumsempra. that spell. it sounds so familiar to me, but i can’t exactly place it.” he stared at me so i continued. “well, with where i grew up, if something sounds familiar, just. it’s probably not good.” i finished.   
finally harry nodded. “fine.” he said but he didn’t sound convinced.   
“i wish i had found something though. something about the room of requirement. i feel like he might be trying to find something. i mean, there are so many things that place can be used for, but if he’s going in alone. that’s what i would use it for. hiding something. and we all know about the diary from five years ago. what if. well. what if voldemort hid something there fifty years ago and now wants draco to find it because he can’t get into the school?”  
harry and hermione stared at me. “actually.” hermione said quietly. “that makes a lot of sense.” this was the first time she’d even acknowledged that draco was up to something.   
“wow.” harry said probably that hermione was actually agreeing with us for once. “so, do you think i’d be able to find it if i tried asking for a room to hide something in?”  
i shrugged. “probably. but how would you possibly know what he’s looking for?”  
the conversation weaned off draco after that. ron came over so hermione got up and left.   
“how am i supposed to finish this essay for snape if lavender won’t stop snogging me?” he asked quietly.   
“that doesn’t sound like my problem.” i said indignantly because hermione was my best friend and i wasn’t going to help him if she didn’t want to.  
“not you too ro?” he asked but i shook my head.   
“sorry, this information highway is closed.” i said getting up to join hermione.  
“hold on.” harry called. “you never told us what happened between you and fred and why you came back so early.”  
i had already stood up so i turned to face them. “we broke up.” i said simply and walked away while they stared at me.  
over the next couple of days, harry and ron kept trying to get me to tell them what had happened, but i refused to talk about it. i just fell silent every time they brought up fred.   
finally, right before quidditch practice, harry and ron cornered me in the changing room before everyone had even come in.  
“ok, you can’t keep avoiding this.” ron said. “what happened between you two?”  
i really didn’t want to go over this again. “fred realized what i’d been telling him. and what you called a long time ago.” i said to ron. “my life’s complicated and he didn’t want to be a part of that.”  
“so, that’s it?” harry asked and i shrugged.   
“well, he’s right and i’m not going to force him just to end up hurting him.” i said firmly. “look guys, the match against hufflepuff is this saturday. we need to concentrate on quidditch. besides i’m fine, really. fred was right and i’m actually glad he got himself out of my mess.”  
ron and harry didn’t say anything about fred after that. but that thursday was the first time i’d practiced as a beater since fred broke up with me and i found out draco was a death eater. i had a lot of pent up stuff i needed to get out so i basically did my best that evening. we were on the pitch for three hours, and ron didn’t let in any goals, even though ginny and katie were playing really well.   
“that was probably our best practice yet!” harry called once we had gathered around on the pitch. everyone looked really pleased as we all walked back to the changing room.   
i found my way back to the gryffindor bathroom to take a shower because i refused to in the changing rooms.   
after dinner, which was surprisingly good that night, probably because i was extra hungry after quidditch practice. ron had left us to go sit with lavender and parvati, to which hermione didn’t even say a word. she pretended not to even notice when lavender came over to pull him away.  
“are you going to ignore him forever?” harry asked exasperated the next day over our homework after dinner. ron was again sitting with lavender and they were sniffing again.   
“i’m not “ignoring” him.” hermione said. “i just don’t want to acknowledge he exists.”  
“that’s the same thing.” harry muttered and hermione through him a glaring look so he dropped it.   
“when’s your next lesson with dumbledore?” hermione asked after a while, “it’s been a while hasn’t it?”  
“well, a couple of weeks yes, but i don’t know. i haven’t gotten a message yet”  
“oh yeah. harry. i’m coming with you, to your next lesson.” i said deciding on the spot.   
“what why?”   
“well, not for the actual lesson. just to you know. talk to dumbledore. tell him that lokis coming.” i finished awkwardly. we’d never actually talked about it and i figured that there was only 6 weeks left before my birthday, i should really hurry up and tell dumbledore.   
harry and hermione exchanged a look.   
“what?” i asked.   
“well, it’s just. we were thinking.” hermione said. and she looked at harry for help but he looked scared. “loki. do you think. he means it when he says he’ll stay down here?”  
i stared at her because for the first time, i genuinely had no idea what she meant.   
“what?” i asked not hostile. just wondering.   
“well. it’s just. he’s the prince of asgard isn’t he? and he’ll just come down? what if he needs to go back for anything? even for a day? he’ll pull you with him won’t he? and then we’ll lose you here for a week, won’t we?”  
i didn’t know what to say. but nodded slowly. “i didn’t really think about that.” i said. “you know, i don’t even know what he does as a prince of asgard.”  
i laughed a little bit no one else thought it was funny. my laughter fell away at their expressions. “well. i don’t actually know. i guess i have to go.” i said quietly. “he said he would try to stay as much as he can.”   
“and you believe him?” harry asked.  
“don’t have much of a choice, do i?” i asked in a whisper. and luckily they dropped the topic after that.   
the next day, was the day before the gryffindor match against hufflepuff(?) and our entire team was jumpy on nerves. “don’t worry. you’re all playing amazingly.” harry said over and over again and he sounded pretty confident. it was just hufflepuff but they had a knew captain this year too and harry was sure they’d have a different strategy.   
And the match started. When madam hooch threw the quaffle into the air, both team broke ranks. We started flying just as we had during practice. Luckily, Ginny was the first one to grab the quaffle. A boy named Casmian Jedrek from slytherin was commentating the match.   
“Ginny weasley from Gryffindor has the quaffle,” Casmian said as I watched out for any bludgers that might be targeting my teammates. It wasn't long before amayah and I started zooming around hitting bludgers away from people. It was my second match, and I felt like I was doing considerably better than I had in my last one even though we had won.   
“And a bludger targets Harry Potter as he looks for the snitch.” Casmians said and I zoomed over and hit the bludger out of the way. My responsibility was the teammates closest to me, and Harry just happened to be closer to me that Amayah. “Do you see it?” I called but Harry shook his head. “Not yet, concentrate on the bludgers. I'll find it.”I nodded zooming over to a bludger that the hufflepuff beater had beaten towards me and sent it flying towards their keeper.   
“Ginny Weasley makes a goal, ten points to Gryffindor!”   
The match carried on like that, with Ginny and Katie making substantially more goals than the Hufflepuff chasers. I noticed out of the corner of my eye when Harry had finally seen the snitch. The Hufflepuff seeker, a boy Ethan Humberstone, hadn’t seen it yet, so i was pretty confident that Harry would catch it before him.   
The match finally ended about twenty minutes after it began, with harry catching the snitch and the score being 240- 50. All the Gryffindors in bleachers erupted in cheering as we touched down on the ground, harry holding the snitch up high.   
“gryffindor wins!” casmian said but he wasn’t as particularly excited as he should have been. i didn’t care though. harry was right. we had played the best we had since practice started and i felt euphoric.   
the celebrations went late into the night with ron, ginny and harry disappearing for a bit and showing up with food just like fred and george used to. the team all hugged each other one by one, and i gave harry a particularly hard squeeze because it was thanks to him that we had won.   
“you’re an amazing captain,” i told him as i pulled out and he beamed.   
even though i was tired that night from the game, i still found myself too excited to sleep. the adrenaline had apparently not worn out yet and i even my usual depressing thoughts wasn’t enough to bring me down. we still had to play against slytherin but so far we had won against ravenclaw and hufflepuff which meant that even if we didn’t win against slytherin, we would go to the finals. still, with draco being the seeker on the slytherin team, i knew harry would do his best to beat them. he would never be able to live it down if he lost to draco malfoy. and neither would i. draco had been ignoring me since the night fred and broke up, and he hadn’t brought anything up after that. i was never going to be with him anyway but i felt bad to say it to his face so i was glad that he didn’t bring it up again.   
i didn’t sleep until two or three am.   
the next day, Sunday morning, i got up, exhausted since i’d almost not slept at all the last night. it was barely 7 am and no one else had woken up yet. i thought about going to joke shop just like i had promised but i didn’t even know if it would be open yet. i yawned sitting up. might as well get dressed. so i did. i waited until about 9 in the common room doing homework, there were only a few fifth year students there when i went down, no doubt cramming for their owl exams.  
“what are you doing?” i asked one girl who looked like she was on the verge of tears.   
“i’m just not getting this history of magic stuff.” she said. “seriously, how could one subject be so unbelievably boring and difficult to understand?”  
“you know these exams aren’t for months, right?” i asked but i still sat down next to her.   
“well, yeah. but still. all of my year’s studying.”   
i didn’t want to tell her that i never actually took the owl exams. i wasn’t even there to watch my friends study for them. and even though history of magic was my worst subject, i still helped her study. i used some of the tricks i had come up with in my third year and some that i was using that year too.   
by the time it was 9 am, all of my friends had woken up and hers had too to i got up and left after she thanked me.   
“hey, you’re up early.” hermione said walking down the stairs.   
“couldn’t sleep.” i said. “just one of those nights you know?” she looked at me sympathetically but nodded and then walked down to the great hall. ron and harry caught up with us a few minutes later. as there was no post on sunday’s, the usual rustling of the owls didn’t rush past us. but there was a 1st year who came up to us and handed harry a parchment.   
“ah, dumbledore finally set a date for our next lesson.” he said reading out from the paper. “tuesday. 6pm.”  
i leaned over his shoulder to read it. and as hermione was sitting to far, she didn’t even try.   
“perfect.” she said. “wonder what he’ll show you this time.”  
“yeah. well. probably another memory.” harry said.   
he had only had three lessons so far and i was on asgard for two of them. he had filled me in on what dumbledore was showing him but i couldn’t figure out why and neither could hermione. but obviously, it would become clear as the lessons went on.   
on tuesday. i told harry to leave at 5:30 because i wanted to talk to dumbledore but i didn’t want it to impede on their lesson. i spent all day sunday and monday wondering what exactly i was going to say. i didn’t even ask him if loki could come down. and how was i going to explain it to the other students. i had sort of an idea for that. introduce him as an exchange student, but tell the truth about where he is from. i didn’t know if anyone would buy it though, less so the exchange student part but more the prince of asgard part. would anyone even believe it? did it really matter?   
at 5:30 on tuesday i met harry outside the common room and we walked down to dumbledores office together. harry said the password and we both stepped onto the staircase together and went up.   
“are you sure about this?” harry asked before he knocked on the door.   
“no.” i said. “but i have to let him know, don’t i?”  
the door opened ominously and i had a sinking feeling like i wasn’t welcome when i stepped in.   
“perhaps i should wait outside?” harry asked me in a whisper.   
“no, it’s fine. come in.” i said matching his tone.  
“ah rose.” dumbledore looked up at me but there wasn’t real surprise in his face. “i was wondering when you would come to see me.”  
“so you know i’d come? i was the one who was surprised.   
“well. yes. it really was quite obvious wasn’t it?”  
i stared at him. “obvious?” i repeated.   
“loki. he’s coming down here isn’t he? on your seventeenth birthday?”   
i was really quite shocked about how he could have known this. (i think i told him that my life was connected to loki’s) “well. i never actually expected to leave your friends during this time.” he said wisely.   
“but, then you knew that he could come down?”   
“not exactly, but i do know about deep magic. and if your lives were simply connected. it has nothing to do with asgard does it.”  
“so, then you’re. ok?” i asked quietly.   
“it doesn’t seem as if any of us have a choice do we?” he asked with a small smile.  
“but where’s he going to stay?”  
“i can add a sixth bed to the boys dorm. i don’t think harry or ron have a problem with and i suspect when the other boys find out who he is, i doubt they’ll have a problem with either.”   
“i was thinking. maybe we could say he’s an exchange student from asgard?” i asked shifting. the whole thing sounded so stupid, but dumbledore nodded. “this is as they say, your party.” he said.   
“thanks sir.” i said turning around. “and, i’m sorry. about this whole thing.”  
“it’s not anyone’s fault.” dumbledore said. and i gave harry a small squeeze before leaving.  
“he figured you’d be saying that?” hermione asking me after i told her what happened. ron wasn’t sitting with us but i figured harry would fill him in.   
“yeah, dumbledore knew.” i repeated. “and he said, loki could stay in the boys dormitory. and you know, come to classes with me.”  
“like a normal student.” she said.   
“like a normal student.” i repeated even though it was so weird to say it. i hoped loki would be ok with that too. i didn’t know what he would say to having to sit through classes every single day for a whole semester at least.   
harry came back and ron came to sit with us. “another memory.” he said as we all settled in to listen to him tell us about another shop he visited. (ok i’m not going to lie i tried finding the memory in the book but it’s just so much work. plus apparently katie does get cursed during the october visit? i knew i messed up somewhere because ron and lavender got together after the first match. anyways, i guess this is canon now. whatever).  
“but still no idea why dumbledores showing you these mate?” ron asked.   
harry shook his head. “it’s so weird. it’s like. he’s building up to something, but i can’t figure out what it is.”  
“well maybe you’re not supposed to.” i said. “if dumbledore wanted everything to make sense, it would have already. believe me. i don’t know how he knew about loki, but that’s just proof that he knows what he’s doing. we just have to trust him.”  
“yeah.” hermione agreed. lavender kept staring over at us so ron got up and left. the saturday after next, we had our next trip to hogsmeade. it had only been four weeks but as it would be our last one before the christmas holidays, we were all excited to full out pockets with gifts to give to each other as well as ourselves.   
on friday, it was harry hermione and i as usual because ron had went off to find lavender.   
we were just reading intently when i had a thought. “harry. can i see your potions book again?” i asked him.   
“why?” he asked but he pulled it out and handed it to me. i didn’t answer right away, but i flipped through the book without answering. i was looking for something, something that sirius and snape had been fighting about last year. the memory made me a little sad because i was thinking of sirius again, but there it was, the work occlumency written on the side of a less filled page. “the art of closing off your mind. imagine a wall.”   
i smiled and looked up at him. “i would have thought dumbledore would continue teaching you occlumency.” i said.  
“occlumency?” harry repeated. “i don’t know why he hasn’t.”  
“well. what if, i taught you?” i asked handing the book back to him.  
“do you even know occlumency?” hermione asked. i shrugged.   
“no, but if snape can do it. how hard can it be?” i was suddenly very excited.   
“are you sure that’s a good idea?” harry asked.   
“look harry, it’s important for you to close your mind. and i feel like i’d be a better teacher than snape. at least i won’t constantly yell at you.”   
harry nodded slowly. “all right. yeah.”  
“great!” i exclaimed standing up and holding out a hand to help him get up.  
“what, now?” he asked and i nodded. “come on. i think i have a strategy too.” i pulled harry up and we walked outside. it was only just after dinner time but of course, it was dark.   
“maybe we should wait until tomorrow?” harry asked but i shook my head.   
“why wait until tomorrow?”   
“so. i’m going to try something, and you try blocking me out.”  
“oh rose. i’m rubbish at this.” harry said. “i proved so with snape last year.”  
“you’re not rubbish!” i said encouragingly. “you just didn’t do so well because of snape. ok now. close your eyes and imagine a wall being built around your memories. or perhaps it’ll help if i say it snapes voice? control your emotions. discipline your mind.” i mimicked snapes nasally voice and harry laughed.   
“no, don’t do that.”  
“fine.”   
he closed his eyes and scrunched them, i could tell he was concentrating on blocking everything out. so i tried everything his memory. it was far too easy to penetrate his mind. immediately i could see his first memory, he was 6 maybe seven years old and his cousin had just gotten a new bike which harry was watching longingly. it occurred to me that harry probably didn’t even know how to ride one. i didn’t watch any further, and exited.   
“sorry.” he said dejectedly.   
“no. ok, maybe you need an example.”  
“what does that mean?” he asked.   
“i mean. i’ll show you. i’m going to think of a memory, and i’ll take you into it, then build a wall around it and maybe it’ll help you visualize?” i was sure so it was a question, but harry did look a little encouraged at that. “wow, that would be a lot more helpful that having snape just yell at me to close my mind off.” he said and i nodded smiling.  
“told you i could be more useful than him.”   
i thought of a memory that i could show harry. perhaps one with sirius so he could see him again, but not one without him.   
“do you, want one with sirius?” i asked. “are you ok to see him again?”   
harry thought for a second but nodded.   
“ok.” i closed my eyes and thought back to a day last year during christmas break where all of us had spent the whole day together. mr. weasley had come home by that point so every one was in a festive mood. sirius was pretty happy too, one of the happier days he’d had considering he was stuck in his horror house. once the memory was clear in my mind, i took harry into it. it was a weird experience since we weren’t using a penseive. it was sort of like an out of body experience for me, even though it was exactly the opposite. i wondered what it was like for harry. he and i watched as sirius went around the house singing and now harry smiled.   
“i’m going to visualize the wall now.” i said softly feeling bad since he was watching sirius for the first time in months.   
“just one more minute.” harry whispered and that made me feel worse, but i figured it would take me minute to figure out how to do it anyway. first, the sounds disappeared from around us, and sirius’s loud singing could no longer be heard, then slowly, our surrounding blurred, morphing more and more into a red brick wall. soon, harry and i were just standing on a wispy black surface surrounded by thick red walls. i smiled at him proud of my accomplishment. “do you want to try now?”  
i pulled us both out of the memory.  
“think of something that you don’t mind me seeing.” i said. “maybe one of your da meetings from last year. i’ve always wanted to know what went on in one of those.”  
harry nodded and after a moment nodded indicating for me to go into his memory. this time, he didn’t come with me since he was the one who had to visualize closing it down. and i didn’t know how to take him into his own memory.   
suddenly, i was standing in a bright room, the room of requirement. there were about 30 students standing around with their wands drawn, they were all trying very hard to conjure something. “the day we did the patronus charm.” a voice reverberated around the room and i looked around. “concentrate on blocking me out harry.” i said.   
“right. sorry.” but i kind of didn’t want to go. soon, everyone’s wands sent out a gushing wisp of something white. each one produced a different animal and it was wonderful to see. i had never actually attempted the patronus charm, and now i never would be able to because it was wand magic. i would never know what my patronus was. i shook that thought away as the volume fell away slowly and the figures became blurred just like it had in my own memory. soon, it was just me standing there surrounded by brick walls on all four sides. i left the memory, and joined harry back in the courtyard smiling brightly.   
“you did it!” i exclaimed pulling him into a hug.   
“i did didn’t i?” he asked in disbelief. the his face brightened. “brilliant!”  
“of course that’s just the beginning.” i said not wanting to rain on his parade but also being realistic. “you were controlling this memory weren’t you? voldemort’s not going to ask you which memory he wants to see, and if you want to see into his.-“ i paused. “but for now. that was brilliant.”   
i didn’t see any point in forcing harry to go again that night, he had to practice yet but if dumbledore didn’t even seem that concerned about it-   
we walked back to the common room where hermione had her face buried in a book and ron had his face buried in lavenders hair.   
“so did you do it?” she asked looking up?   
“he did brilliantly.” i said smiling. and hermione smiled too.   
“so it was snapes fault?”   
“yeah.” i agreed. “it usually is isn’t it?”  
the next weekend. harry, hermione and i headed to hogsmeade together since lavender wasn’t going to let ron go again.   
still, i think ron wanted to meet up with harry and me or something because we ran into them around 3 pm at the three broomsticks for lunch.   
“did you plan this with ron before?” i whispered to harry who was looking a little scared at the expression on hermione’s face.   
“i just wanted to hang out with ron.” he said sheepishly. “don’t tell hermione.” i rolled my eyes at him but i thought hermione was going to figure it out herself. she was too smart for that.   
harry started walking out the pub with ron and lavender, and hermione, parvati and i walked a little bit behind them. we were halfway down the street when we ran into katie and angelina. angelina was standing over katie’s limp body, a package had fallen next to them.   
“what?” ron asked.  
but angelina was screaming. my ears started ringing. i wasn’t sure exactly what was happening but my brain wanted to run over and make sure she was ok but my instincts told me i shouldn’t go near her. apparently harry had thought the same thing because when hermione started running towards them, he grabbed her and said “no!”   
that’s when katie was pulled into the air by an invisible force. she was thrown backwards and forwards like she was being dragged by something. i felt sick, but i didn’t know what to do.   
“go get a professor!” i think it was harry. and i came to my senses sort of. ron and i started running back to the pub and into hagrid. literally.  
“oi what are you lot doing here then?” he asked happily.   
“hagrid!” ron exclaimed. “come quick, katies been. cursed or something.” i breathed hard but i couldn’t actually focus on anything that was happening. i don’t know why, this hasn’t happened to me before. why couldn’t i focus? it was like i was somewhere else when i followed hagrid and ron back to katie. the only reason i could even determine where i was going was because of hagrids figure.   
“what’s happened?” he asked looking around and Angelina standing crying over katie who had been released to fall to the ground, limp and stiff.   
“did she touch that?” hagrid asked looking at the necklace but wasting no time before picking her up. angelina nodded but she looked more trembly than i felt.   
“don’t touch it.” hagrid grumbled. “i’ll send snape once i her her to the hospital wing.”   
i stood frozen to the spot and hermione, lavender, parvati and angelina didn’t seem much better.   
“what just happened?” ron muttered to harry.   
“we. need to stay here until snape gets here. right? to make sure no one else touches it?” hermione asked, her voice was shaky and soft. harry nodded still staring at the necklace. he looked like he was afraid that if he took his eyes off it, he might lose track of it. i kind of understood how he felt. i didn’t want to move either. katie bell, she had been thrown up into the air just after touching a necklace? how was that possible. i had seen different magic, but there was only one place where i’d seen magic like this. only one place where that necklace could have possibly come from. my father.  
that thought made me want to throw up even more.   
i think it was a few minutes later that snape showed up, examined the necklace for a few seconds, then used the levitation spell to pick it up.   
“follow me back to the castle.” he said simply and the seven of us started after him. since we were all in gryffindor, he lead us to mcgonagalls office.   
“what happened?” she asked looking grave. we all looked at angelina since she was there.   
“katie. went to the bathroom at madam rosmertas pub.” she said quietly, the took a deep breathe. “when she came out, she had the package. wouldn’t say who gave it to her. actually. she looked a bit- off.”   
“off how” professor mcgonagall asked.  
“i dunno, she just. looked spicy and wouldn’t talk to me properly.” angelina said. she seriously looked like she was going to cry or be sick, maybe both. mcgonagall seemed to be able to tell so she excused her. “alright, you may go ms johnson.” she said softly.   
then she looked at us. “and you just happened upon them?” she asked but she didn’t sound like she was accusing us of anything.  
“we were just walking.” harry said. i wondered if i should tell mcgonagall about my fear of it being my father. but what could she have done? i was the only one who could deal with my father and i really didn’t want to. but if he had sent the necklace to someone at hogwarts, then i may have to deal with him. i shuddered at the thought and mcgonagall looked at me.   
“are you ok ms. stiltskin?” she asked.   
“not particularly.” i said. “but considering the circumstances.” she nodded.   
“alright, you may go.” she said and we were all about to walk out. lavender and parvati who were gripping each other like their lives depended on it had already left the room but harry stood rooted to the spot so hermione, ron and i didn’t move either.   
“draco did it.” harry whispered.  
“did you see him do it?” mcgonagall asked shocked.  
“no.”  
“well do you have proof?” she asked.  
“no.”   
“well that is a very serious accusation mr. potter!” she exclaimed. “you’d better have hard proof backing it up before you go around spreading lies like that.”  
“but it isn’t a lie.” harry said. “professor. it’s just-“  
“what?” snape snarled. “a feeling you have? that better not be what you were about to say. potter.” he spit. “because if we all made determinations based on “feelings.” well we’d be living in a completely different place wouldn’t we?”  
harry fell silent. i wanted him to shut up. snape was right, he didn’t have any proof it was draco and i had another idea of who could have done it.   
“how blessed must it be to to be the chosen one.” snape continued even though none of us said anything. “to be able to know things. to see things. to have the third eye.”   
still harry didn’t say anything. “go,” snape said examining the necklace again after turning his attention from us.  
and harry hurried out of the room. we followed him.  
“i don’t know he did it, but it was him.” harry said firmly. i didn’t say anything until we were out of earshot of other students. none of us were in the mood to go back to hogsmeade but we didn’t want to go inside either. the whole thing was so ominous.   
“i don’t know if it was draco who gave her the necklace.” i said quietly once we were all seated next to the lake.   
“who else could it have been?” harry asked.  
“no, what i mean was. maybe it was draco who gave katie the necklace. but harry. where do you think /draco/ for such a cursed i next from?”  
he stared at me.   
“you don’t think.” hermione started. then dropped her voice to a whisper. “you don’t think it was /your father/ do you?”  
but i nodded reluctantly.   
“honestly, yes. i’ve only ever seen magic like that in his arsenal of weapons. only, if it was him. i don’t know what i’m going to do.” i put my head in my hands. “as if i don’t have enough to deal with.”  
“if it is your father, we’ll help you deal with him.” ron said confidently and i tried to give him a smile but it wouldn’t come.   
“thanks ron, but it’s more complicated that you think. he’s. powerful. the only reason he hasn’t killed me het is because he raised me and i don’t know if even that’s going to be enough in a while. not once he realizes that i well. have the amount of power i have.”   
none of us said anything for a while.   
“maybe it wasn’t your father.” hermione said hopefully. “it could have been from borgin and burke’s. i was in the shop. remember? i’m pretty sure i saw that same necklace.” her voice picked up and i thought back to the day in diagon alley too.   
“you know what. you’re right hermione!” i said in overwhelming relief. “i saw that necklace too.”  
“which is exactly what confirms that it was malfoy.” harry said, throwing a stone into the lake. i took a shaky breathe and looked at him.  
“snapes right though.” hermione said and i gave her a pained expression. “that’s a serious accusation and you /don’t/ have any proof harry!” her voice got louder because harry looked like he was about to open his mouth to argue.  
“no he’s right.” i said deciding that it was finally the right time to tell my friends what he told me. if he actually had cursed katie, then he was up to something bigger than finding something in the room of requirement. they all stopped and looked at me.   
“about which part? /you/ saw draco give katie the necklace?” hermione asked.   
“no.” i shook my head and a tear fell out. i looked at harry. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you before.” i said tearfully. “ i was just trying to protect you. and him. but now that you can put up walls around certain memories.”  
“tell me what. rose?” harry asked firmly.  
“the night, that fred broke up with me. i came back to the castle and ran into crabbe and goyle?”  
“yeah we know this. draco stopped them.” harry said.  
“yeah, but in a moment of, vulnerability. he,” i took a shaky breathe. “showed me his dark mark.” i finished so quietly that i thought none of them had heard me.  
“what?” hermione yelled jumping up.   
“what?” harry repeated. “why didn’t you tell me before?”  
“like i said. i was protecting you. no. i was protecting him ok? because if voldemort ever found out he had told me, he would have draco killed. and i know we hate him, but not that much.”  
“that’s your excuse for lying to me?” harry asked angrily. “you chose him over me?”  
“no!” i exclaimed. “i would never do that. you’re my best friend. it’s just. i thought i was right about him finding something in the room of requirement, but now. i have no idea.” i was quiet and hoped harry wouldn’t he’ll at me anymore. i had done it for the right reason and i would do it again. maybe i shouldn’t have even said anything now, but this was more serious than i thought.   
“harry?” i asked finally. “what are you thinking?”  
“about how it’s more urgent than ever that we get into the room of requirement to find out what he’s up to.”  
“did he. tell you he had the mark or did you see it?” hermione asked suddenly.   
“what?” i asked her in disbelief.  
“did you see it or did he just tell you?”  
“do you think i’m stupid hermione?” i asked. this time it was my turn to be angry at her.   
“what no! absolutely not. it’s just that if you didn’t see it. we can’t be sure can we?”   
i took a deep breath. “why do you think he would tell me something like that if it wasn’t true?” i asked irritated. “what could he /possibly/ have to gain from that?”  
“i don’t know. maybe he was trying to gain your sympathy?”  
“well it didn’t work did it. i hate him now more than ever.”  
“but that was right after he kissed you at hogsmeade on halloween.” she tried to justify.   
“hermione i really don’t think he would have said something that serious if it wasn’t true.” this time, ron who had been quiet through this whole thing spoke. i didn’t know if it was because he wanted to simply take my side, or if he truly believed it. either way i was grateful to him.  
“so, now we’re thinking that voldemort inducted a 16 year old into his army. and that 16 year old is trying to kill someone at school.” hermione summed up.  
harry didn’t react. “do we really think he’s trying to kill someone?” i asked quietly. “maybe this was an accident.”  
but the only person whom draco could have wanted to kill, been ordered to kill by voldemort was harry and that thought didn’t make me feel better.  
“but that means we’re saying he’s trying to kill. me.” harry had apparently come to the same conclusion. “then why would he try to go through katie?”  
“handing it to you directly would probably be too risky.” i said.   
“yeah, it sounded like she was confounded.” hermione said thoughtfully.   
“if dracos going around confunding students.-“ i let the sentence trail off. “guys, i don’t like where this conversation is going.”  
“yeah?” harry muttered. “imagine how i feel.”   
“harry. i promise i won’t let anything happen to you.” i said quietly. “seriously, i spent a whole year thinking you were dead. thinking about what i could do to save you. i have a few ideas and believe me, if i let /draco/ hurt you-“  
i stopped again. there was no way i was going to let draco hurt harry, but the thing was. it didn’t really seem like he was trying. katie was on the quidditch team with us sure. but why would harry randomly take a necklace from her? and why would he put it on even if he did?   
i wanted to talk to draco about it, but i knew he wouldnt tell me out right.  
“listen to me harry.” i said very seriously. “you /cannot/ confront draco about this ok?”   
harry gave a mirthless laugh. “yeah i’ll just ignore the fact that he’s trying to /kill me/“  
“oh come on don’t be dramatic. you know he won’t actually succeed. he’s a child. but if you confront him now, you don’t know what he could do. plus we still don’t even know what he wants from the room of requirement since he got the necklace from borgin and burke’s.”  
harry looked away but i walked over to come into eye contact with him again. “seriously. please promise me. i’ll figure out what he’s doing and you keep trying to get into the room of requirement but don’t face him directly.”  
“i’m not scared of him.”  
“no, it’s not a matter of being scared.” i said and turned to hermione or ron for help to explain what i was trying to say. “it’s more a matter of putting both of you in danger. harry. please.” i pleaded again.   
after a few moments, he nodded.   
“fine. i won’t confront draco. not yet.”   
i sighed in sort of relief but i knew that just because he was saying this now didn’t mean he could keep his mouth shut for months more. i was glad i told him but i also regretted it and the thought of wiping his memory of this crossed my mind though it was just for a fleeting second. i’d never done that to my friends and i didn’t want to start now. i needed them to trust me as much as i trusted them and i didn’t want to be true to the name of rumplestiltskins daughter, manipulating people into doing and thinking only what i wanted them to.   
“what are we going to do now?” hermione asked crying a bit.  
“pretend everything’s normal.” i said quietly. “i’ll deal with this. we just keep acting like everything’s ok.”  
“are you sure you can deal with this?” ron asked.   
i wanted to smile at him, again. but it just wouldn’t come. “this is /malfoy/ were talking about. i fought an army remember?”  
and that seemed to cheer them up.   
obviously, no one forgot the dark news that draco was a death eater, but luckily, no one brought it up again.   
i thought harry wasn’t going to be able to let it go, and i was right. the very next day, when harry joined me and hermione on the floor near the fireplace after class, he asked “do you have a plan yet?”  
i stared at him taking a second to register what he was even talking about.   
“about draco?” he asked sitting down.  
my eyes widened as i looked around.   
“shh!” i exclaimed in alarm ushering him to sit down quicker.   
“i don’t /need/ a “plan.”” i said in a whisper. “what i need, is more time to figure out what he’s up to.”  
“it’s been weeks since we started trying that.” harry countered.  
“whatever he’s up to, it’s clearly not going well.”  
“he almost killed katie!” harry exclaimed and i winced.   
“i know harry, but if he’s being controlled by voldemort, or if voldemort is even watching him from inside his head, there’s nothing i can just “do.” is there?” i asked pleadingly. “please trust that i can handle it. no matter what happens.”  
harry did not look happy but at least he let it go.  
i kind of felt bad though because i had no idea what i was going to do. but i knew i us to figure it out quickly. harry’s life depended on it.   
in the second week of december, our finals began and it was the first ones i had taken for three years but it wasn’t hard. i studied with hermione keeping a watch out for anything draco might be doing but i couldn’t see anything suspicious. hermione, harry, ginny and i for an invitation to a christmas party that slughorn was hosting. we were all supposed to bring someone and although the rumor of this party had been going on for weeks, i didn’t believe it until i actually got the invitation.  
a week after that, days before finals ended, draco ran into me. i was sure he has done it on purpose.   
“got an invitation to the slug club party have you?” he asked sneeringly.   
“yeah i have.” i said but i didn’t say anything else.  
as i walked back to the common room, i was hit by a sudden and giant thought and i was sure i knew why draco was trying to get close to me. honestly, i was surprised i hadn’t put it together before when we realized draco was probably trying to kill harry.   
“he’s after me, to get to you.” i said to harry. “i can’t believe i didn’t see it before.”  
“and he thinks that’ll work?”  
“he gets with me. i invite him on something with us, and he positions your drink.”   
“i doubt he’d poison my drink.” harry said.   
“wouldn’t put it past him.” hermione muttered. “but unfortunately that makes perfect sense. what are you going to do?”  
i shrugged. “we’re leaving next week, so he’ll be safe over the holidays, after loki will be here and i doubt draco will try after he meets loki.”  
“you think loki will scare him off?”  
“i should be enough to scare him off if he knew about my magic.” i said. “but since i can’t expose myself. yeah i think loki will be enough.”  
“hey do you two have a date yet?” harry asked with a sudden 180 turn. i stared at him. “for what?”  
“slughorns party. i think we’re supposed to bring someone. well it would be embarrassing if we were the only ones who didn’t anyway.”   
“oh well. i’ve sort of asked someone.” hermione said looking uncomfortable.   
“who!” i asked.  
“cant say. not yet.” she said.  
“oh come on this is what you did during the yule ball.” harry said imploring her to tell him.   
“didn’t you end up going with viktor krum?” i put in.  
“yeah. she did.” harry remembered. “she looked gorgeous too in that dress.”  
hermione blushed. “thanks harry.”   
“i didn’t ask anyone.” i said suddenly. i didn’t know if i wanted to. anyone i asked, it would seem too intimate and i just was not interested in anyone or even the prospect of a relationship.   
i looked around. “i’ll ask parvati.” i said. “she’s nice and we’ll go as friends. harry you went with her to the yule ball right. she’s cool?”  
“yeah, but she’d never go out with me again.” harry said with a small laugh. “we spent the whole ball sitting around. she must hate me after that.”   
i got up and walked over to her ignoring ron and lavender sitting feet away.   
“hey you want to go to slughorns party with me on friday?” i asked. “as friends, obviously.”  
her face lit up. “oh yeah sure!” she said. but her face fell. “oh but i haven’t got a dress.”  
“oh don’t worry about that, i can get you one. i’m wearing red so, would you be ok with gold? we can go as gryffindor stereotypes.” she nodded looking excited and i went to sit back down feeling a sense of accomplishment. at least that was one thing down.   
unfortunately, that didn’t last became a couple of days later, wednesday before the party, she found me in the common room and said “hey ro. i’m really sorry but i can’t come with you.” my face fell. “sorry, it’s not about you. it’s just, even though we’re only going as friends, if my parents find out-“  
i nodded. “it’s totally fine.” i said. “i understand.”  
“are you. i mean. ok with people thinking something?” she asked quietly looking around.   
“what do you mean?” i asked even though i knew what she meant.   
“with people thinking you like girls.”  
“but i do like girls too.” i said with a small smile. i didn’t really care that people knew i was bi, i never really tried to hide it, i just didn’t know any girls at hogwarts that i was attracted to except ginny and she was straight and in love with harry so i didn’t want to get in between that.  
“oh.” she turned bright red. “i didn’t mean-“  
“no, it’s fine.” i said with a small wave of my hand. “do you still want to dress though? i already have it.” it wasn’t exactly hard to steal a dress from a muggle mall. i just hoped she liked it,  
“oh. um. sure.” she said. “and rose. i’m really sorry. it’s not you. i promise.”  
“it’s fine.” i said. “really. i’ll just go by myself it’s not that big of a deal.”   
as if that was the most of my problems. i was just counting on the fact that break was a couple days away and i only had one final left. draco hadn’t succeeded with whatever he was doing this far and i hoped he wouldn’t. at least in the next two days.   
friday morning arrived and it was the last day of finals. i sat down to take the herbology exam which for the first time was on paper rather than a hands on exam.   
around two pm, the final finally ended and i headed up to the common room with the rest of the gryffindors. most people would be packing to leave the next day. but harry, hermione, ginny and i amongst others were getting ready to go to slughorns party.  
“ginny was wearing a grass green grass to contrast her fiery red hair and hermione was wearing a pink dress. i pulled out my red one with ruffles and gold flecks on it.   
“seriously who are you going with?” ginny and i asked hermione again.  
“oh well, i suppose i can tell you now. it’s harry that i didn’t want to tell.” she said turning red. “cormac.”  
“mclaggen?!” ginny and i exclaimed at the same time.   
“yes.” hermione confirmed. “i- i don’t know what i was thinking.”  
“yeah neither do we.” ginny said for both of us. “Honestly, you couldn’t have found anyone worse?”   
“i thought it would annoy ron the most.”   
“ron’s not even going to be there.” i said obviously.   
“but he’ll found out.”   
“great plan hermione.” i said and she didn’t reply. ginny was going with dean so the three of us met up with him and harry at the entrance on the common room and stepped out together. cormac caught up to us outside.   
“hello hermione.” he said nodding at the rest of us.   
“who are you taking?” i whispered to harry.   
“luna.” he said back and i smiled. i knew he could never like luna the way he liked ginny and i was sure ginny knew that too. she was the least threatening person he could have taken, other than maybe me and hermione.   
when we got to the hallway where the party was, luna was already standing there looking dreamy staring at the entrance.  
“oh hello harry.” she said as we walked up. “i was just admiring the girties in the mistletoe above the room. i looked up to see what she was talking about but i could not see anything. that’s when i noticed that she was wearing glasses. she took them off a second later and put them into a pocket in her springy dress that i didn’t even see. i stared at her.   
“oh, these are to spot wrackspurts and nargles.” she said lightly. “but they’re good for seeing other things as well.” ginny and i smiled at her but by that time cormac had already pulled hermione in to the party.  
“well guess we should join?” i asked harry after he watched ginny and dean walk into the room.  
“don’t suppose there’s anyway we could just. not go?” harry muttered.   
“yeah just leave.” i asked wanting to not go in either.   
“come on harry.” luna said gently. and harry took her hand and walked in. i sighed and followed them.  
slughorn immediately came up and greeted us even though he didn’t recognize luna at first.   
“welcome to the party!” he said a little too boisterously and i realized he was probably more than a little tipsy.   
“hello. thanks for inviting us professor.” i said lightly.   
“yes.” harry agreed.   
“enjoy yourself and have food. oh and harry my dear boy, you and i must take a picture together. you next ms.stiltskin.” he pointed just as i thought i was going to get out of it. he draped his hand over harry’s shoulder and smiled randomly and out of nowhere a photographer popped ail and flashed a huge light in their face. i figured with all the magic we had, they could have figured out a way to make the flash less bright.   
still i consigned to the fact that i wasn’t getting out of it when slughorn let harry out of grip and came over to me.   
“smile!” he said and i gave a pained sort of smile before he let me go too and went to find his next victim.   
i sighed looking around for someone interesting. i didn’t think anyone else had come to the party by themselves until i noticed a big looking hufflepuff dude by himself in the corner. i walked over to him not knowing exactly what i wanted.   
“hey.” i said. and he nodded at me. “you didn’t by any chance come to this thing by yourself, did you?” i asked.  
“yeah, i just got the invite after he found out i was related to the famous seeker from romania’s team.” the boy said. “didn’t have enough time to invite someone.”  
“seriously? all semester and he didn’t know?” i asked skeptically.  
“well i might have been keeping it quiet on purpose.” he said. “i’ve heard how boring these are. “i’m charles by the way.”  
“rose.” i said taking the hand he was holding out.  
“well, i know.” he said.  
“yeah? why because of my father?”  
“no, well. we all know who the four of you are.” he said turning red.   
“perks of being harry’s friend huh.” i said trying to sound jovial so he wouldnt be so embarrassed.  
“yeah i guess. wait, whose your father?-“  
“doesn’t matter.” i said quickly. “listen, do you want to go make out in the hallway for a hot and then never speak to each other again and pretend we never see each other in the halls?” i asked quickly.  
he looked thoughtful for a moment and then finally. “ok yeah. sure.” he said and i took his hand as he lead me to the hallway. before we could leave thought i ran into harry and hermione whispering in the corner. “one second.” i gestures to charles and went to see what they were up to.  
“what’s wrong?” i asked startling hermione.   
“oh. she’s trying to avoid her date.” harry said. “did you know she was coming with cormac mclaggen?” (ok pretend he didn’t meet us in the common room because i apparently messed up)   
i nodded. “yeah. but i didn’t expect it to go any better.” i said raising an eyebrow.   
“not you too.” she said groaning.   
“sorry hermione. it’s not my fault you brought an under grown troll.” i said.   
“i thought.”  
“it would annoy ron the most.” we know.” harry said because she had apparently told him the same thing too.   
“what are you doing ro?” he turned to me.   
“oh i’m about to go make out with a hufflepuff i met two minutes ago.” i said casually.   
“have fun with that.” he said and hermione stared at me.   
“what?” i asked defensively. “i’m bored and he’s sort of cute.” i looked over at him and he waved so i waved back. “well i’m going to go.” i said. “good luck with mclaggen hermione.” and she threw me a dirty look.   
i followed him to a corner outside the room and pushed him against the wall. it was fun. for a while i forgot what was happening at the moment. i knew i was going to go get this boys name in the next week but in that moment it was nice. i spent a whole over him and then we turned and he pushed me against the wall and kissed me. his hands trailed over the top of my dress and i didn’t stop him at first.   
just then there was a loud thump outside the wall and two voices sounded like the were coming from the opposite side.   
“hold on.” i whispered stopping him from kissing me and looking around. it was draco and snape. i was sure harry would be there too.   
“hey, this is over. but it was fun. thanks.” i said as i pushed past him back into the party and he stared after me. i found luna.   
“can i borrow your glasses.” i asked remembering that she said that we could see other things that i hoped was in harry’s head.   
she nodded and pulled them out and i put them on running outside. just like i hoped, i found harry under his invisibility cloak which he had apparently brought with him. i cast the muffliato charm before joining him under the covers because i knew it would make him jump and i didn’t want draco and snape to hear anything suspicious.   
“what the?!-“ just as i expected, harry did jump. and then clamped a hand over his mouth. “rose!” he sehispered.   
“no it’s fine they can’t hear us i cast the muffliato spell.” i said waving a hand dismissively.   
“what’s going on?”  
he pointed at them but didn’t say anything so i listened intently too.   
“i made the unbreakable vow to your mother draco.” snape said quietly.   
“i didn’t ask you too. i don’t need your help.” draco said seriously. “it’s none of your business /professor/“ he spit, and is never heard him speak to snape like that, snape whom he had admired for so many years. “you’re just trying to take all of the glory for yourself.” and he pushed himself out of snapes grip and started walking quickly away. snape stared after him.  
“what happened?” i asked harry not emerging from under the cloak.  
“filch caught draco sneaking around the party.” harry breathed. “and when he got thrown out, snape followed him so i followed them.”  
“the unbreakable vow?” i repeated. “i wonder what they could have been talking about.”   
“well it’s obvious isn’t it?” harry asked. “they were talking about what dracos up to.”  
we didn’t have a chance to talk too much over the next couple of days and the next private moment we got was on the train.   
hermione didn’t sit with us. she went off to find ginny.   
“the unbreakable vow?” ron asked just as i had. “snapes made the unbreakable vow to help draco with-what?”  
“probably with finding whatever’s hidden in hogwarts.”  
“and kill me.” harry added.  
“no, harry.” i said firmly. “as much as i hate snape. dumbledore trusts hims so he’s not going to try to kill you. maybe he’s trying to stop draco?”  
“yeah that seems about as likely as draco succeeding in his attempt to kill harry.” ron said.   
“guys this is a ridiculous conversation. and i agree with harry about everything.” i said. “snapes /not/ trying to kill harry.” i got up and left to find hermione. this conversation was just going round and round and none of us had agreed on one point. i found hermione sitting with ginny, dean, neville and luna and when she saw me she ushered me in.   
i spent the rest of the ride with them.   
as we got off the train i asked her, “are you sure you won’t come to the burrow?” i asked. “it’s not just ron who’ll be there. ginny? oh and fred and george will be there and bill! maybe even charlie. and harry and i will be there. and . loki. he’s coming on my seventeenth birthday.” i finished. i was so excited to see everyone again i actually almost forgot that fred and i were together not that long ago.   
“no. i can’t i promised mum and dad i’d go skiing with them.” hermione said.   
“skiing?” i asked. “what is that?”  
“it’s a muggle sport.” she said. you put on these sticks and go down down a hill covered in snow.  
“sounds fun.” i said sarcastically.  
“but we’ll be back before january 1st so come introduce loki to me.” she said. “i don’t want the first time i meet him to be on the hogwarts express.  
i nodded smiling. “of course hermione.” i said like it was obvious that i would do that.


	7. Chapter 7

everyday until january 1st ticked away so slowly, but so fast at the same time. i desperately hoped loki would be fine with staying down here because i was not about to leave my friends. especially when we suspected that draco might have been trying to kill harry. and no matter what i said to harry about dumbledore trusting snape, i definitely didn’t have good feelings about that transaction.   
new year’s eve, we all stayed up to celebrate until midnight but my stomach churned. i wasn’t sure i would have been able to sleep even if i wanted to. we he show up right at midnight or would he show up later the next day?  
1, i don’t even know why i was nervous 9, it’s not like i didn’t like him. 8, i liked him a lot. i could definitely imagine spending time with him. 7, then why wouldn’t this feeing stop? 6, my breathing slowed down and i couldn’t catch my breathe. 5, i was thinking about excusing myself to go to the bathroom, 4. 3. 2, i knew why i was nervous. i figured out why i was so nervous, 1, i didn’t trust him.  
it was because i thought he would take me back to asgard. what if he had changed his mind? but it was too late. there was a bright flash of light outside, a flash of colorful light that i knew to be the transportation beam between here and asgard. i ran outside leaving everyone inside and found loki standing there with multiple suitcases on his black armor.   
“hi.” i whispered.   
“hello.” he said back.  
my heart was beating very fast and even though i saw the suitcases, i still didn’t believe it.   
“do you need help with those?” i asked. and he shook his head.   
“i have magic too.” he said and i smiled nervously.   
“well, this is the burrow. and well, everyones inside.”  
“and everyone is?”  
“my family.” i said. opening the door. they were all gathered around the entrance waiting expectantly but when i opened the door they pretended to not have been staring.   
“loki, this is arthur and molly weasley, bill, charlie, ron, ginny and harry.” i said pointing everyone out. they all waved a bit but i could tell harry and ron wanted to a curtsy or something but they didn’t because i threw them a glaring look.   
“bill works for gringotts, charlie is a dragon trainer. fred and george whom you’ve met apparently will only be by in the morning, and ron and harry are in my year.” i became more confident as I spoke. if loki wanted to leave, he would have said something by now right? but i knew he could want to leave at any moment after this too.   
“it’s nice to meet all of you. rose’s family.” he said giving a bright smile.   
mrs weasley was the first to step up. “it’s so nice to meet you too.” she said. “we have a room set up for you right upstairs. would you like to show him?” she looked at me and i nodded.  
“i know you have magic but let me help you anyway.” i said carrying his luggage into fred and george’s room.   
“pick a bed i guess.”   
“they’re your family huh?” he asked a little skeptically looking around like the room wasn’t something he was used to sleeping him which he probably wasnt. “kind of a small house isn’t it?”   
i made a face but i quickly wiped it off because i didn’t want to do anything that would make him want to leave. i knew that i couldn’t act like that forever though, eventually i would have to believe that he wouldn’t force me to go to asgard. at least not yet. but i just wasn’t there yet.   
“this is my home too you know.” i whispered. “you can’t say things like that.”  
“sorry.” but he didn’t sound sorry.   
he was looking around really disgustedly and i was getting sick of it.   
“what?” i asked finally.  
“nothing, its just.-“  
“oh my god.” i interrupted my voice breaking. “you want to leave don’t you?”  
“no!” he said quickly. “well, yes, but i made you a promise and i intend to keep that.”  
my breathing evened out a little.   
“then what is it?”  
“it’s just, a bit mangier than i expected.” he said.   
“good night loki.” i said shaking my head and leaving. i didn’t want to hear what else he had to say about my home.   
we had four days left and i was desperately hoping he wouldn’t say something like that to anyone else.   
the next morning, he was actually up before me and when i went down to the kitchen, he was sitting on the table drinking a cup of coffee.   
“loki was just telling me about his life on asgard.” mrs weasley said wiping down the counter.   
“yeah?” i asked walking over to help her. “he’s never even told me anything.”  
“perhaps you’ve never asked.” loki said. i gave him a look.   
at least he was trying to be friends with my family? i barely slept last night because i was worried about how he would act with everyone.   
i suddenly remembered my promise to hermione.   
“you don’t have to do anything for today.” i told mrs weasley. “seriously, i’m just happy to be here.” i didn’t mean for that be a slight at loki but i did notice a change in his expression.   
“well, at least a cake.” she said looking around. “and remus and tonks are coming by, and so are fred and george for a few hours at least.”   
“fred and george are coming?” i asked trying not to let my voice change.  
i knew fred and loki had met, but i wasn’t sure if i wanted to be there in the middle of them. especially with so much history between me and both of them separately.   
what if i just took him to hermione’s house and didn’t come back the rest of the day? would that be rude? yeah, that would be rude.   
“hey, hermione wants to meet you.”’i said to loki gesturing for him to get up.   
“oh, bring her if she wants to come.” mrs weasley said kindly. “i do miss her.”  
i nodded at her but i knew hermione wasn’t going to. mrs weasley didnt know about the fight that she and ron were in. i didn’t even think she knew about ron and lavender.   
once loki stood up i grabbed his hand and we ended up on hermione’s door step.   
“her parents are muggles.” i said and then at the puzzled look on his face “non magic folk. but they do know about magic obviously. but maybe i shouldn’t introduce you as a prince of asgard?”  
i knocked on the door at the feeing was all too familiar, expect last time, i was with aliyah.   
mr granger opened the door and recognized me. “rose, right?” he beamed and i nodded. “come in. hermione’s right upstairs. one of her friends are over.”  
friends? i didn’t know she had friends outside of hogwarts. i guess she did live here for eleven years though and went to elementary school. i walked up the stairs that he had pointed after saying hi to mrs. granger as well, and tentatively knocked on hermione’s door. she opened it and just as her father, beamed at me but also threw herself onto me for a hug.   
“happy birthday rose!” she exclaimed holding me out and looking behind me obviously for loki. he was standing awkwardly behind me.  
“this is loki.” i said, and looked past her to the girl sitting on her bed.   
“hey, come here.” hermione gestured and the girl smiled and stood up to come to us. i smiled at her back and waved.   
“this is Kas.” she said. “weve been friends since, kindergarten.”  
“until hermione left me to go to boarding school.” kas rolled her eyes but reached out to shake my hand and then loki’s.   
“i presume you two go to her school?”  
i looked at hermione for confirmation but just as i expected, she gave a slight nod and so did i.   
“well, actually, loki’s just starting this semester.” i said to explain why he had to be introduced. “he’s a, foreign exchange student.”   
Kas nodded.   
“odd that a foreign exchange student starts in the middle of the year isn’t it?” she asked.   
“well, it’s the only time we had.” i said. “he had to learn english you see.” i was inventing wildly.   
“well it was nice to meet you.” kas said. “but i should get going. it’s new years and my parents are forcing me to go to a work party.”   
we waved goodbye to her and hermione invited us into her room.   
“should i bow to him?” she whispered to me and i gave her a look and shook my head slightly.   
“just act normal.” i said quietly.   
“how am i supposed to “act normal?”” she asked. “he’s a prince.”  
“not here he’s not.” i said shrugging. how weird would it be if they all acted like this all year? it would make everything very exhausting, that was for sure.   
“hey, mrs weasley asked me to invite you for the party this evening.” i said, “i can bring you back home as soon as it’s over, you won’t even have to talk to ron.”  
i looked at loki who was raising an eyebrow. 

He wouldn't know what was happening. “Oh, Hermione isnt speaking to Ron because he’s dating another girl.” i said, “even though these two never actually talked about or anything.”  
“Hey!’ hermione said nudging me, “thats not /why/.”   
“Yes it is.” i said simply. “Anyway, come on, hermione, itll be fun. All the weasleys are there and tonks and lupin are coming.  
“Fine,” she said resigned. “For your birthday. I’ll see you at hogwarts after tonight.”  
“Thats all I want,” I said smiling giving her a hug. “So you should tell your parents and we can go?” i asked, and she nodded and left to go downstairs.   
“She really likes Ron?” Loki asked And I nodded,  
“Why?” i asked.  
“Nothing, it just seems like she could do better.”  
“You don't know either one of them.” i said defensively because he was doing this thing again where he just made assumptions. “Hermione's really smart and kind, loyal and ron, hes loyal as well, but-” as i tried to explain it though, I couldn't really come up with a proper explanation as to why Hermione should like Ron. Ever since I could remember, they had constantly fought, which wouldn't make for a good relationship. Then, I remembered that Ron had always been there. “Ron stands up for her.” i said, “i mean, so does harry, but thats more in a brotherly way. Ron takes care of her, not that she needs it but-”  
“All right. I get it.” Loki interrupted me which made me kind of angry but I didn't say anything. It was almost like he was saying “ i' don't really need to learn about these people because I am not planning on staying.”   
i sighed and waited for hermione to come back so i could get us to the burrow.   
everyone was up and downstairs by the time we got back. it was lunchtime and everyone greeted hermione except ron who stood back looking upset that he could talk to hermione.   
loki sat next to me weasley who interestedly asked him about everything that he had seen on asgard and loki answered everyone patiently, meanwhile, mrs weasley was doting over hermione wondering why she hadn’t come sooner and i heard hermione use the lame excuse that she had gone skiing with her parents on mrs weasley as well.   
after lunch we all went sleepily into the living room to sit around and wait for evening so we could pull out the cake. harry had gone almost two full weeks without bringing up draco and i knew he wouldn’t them either because he knew the older weasleys would shut it down right away. bill and loki started a deep conversation and somehow i figured that loki and charlie would have the most to talk about, but it turned out that bill was a lot like him too. they had similar taste in music and fashion which i had noticed before anyway. they were almost wearing the same thing except bill had an earring in his right ear and loki didn’t. i wondered if i could convince him to get one.   
at 6pm, lupin and tonks showed up sporting a large present box. lupin handed it to me and said “this is from both me and sirius. he wanted you to have it when you turned seventeen.” i took the box blinking back tears, wondering what it could be.   
i didn’t want to open it in front of everyone so put it in mine and ginnys room deciding to open it after everyone had gone to bed.   
a while later there was a knock at the door and mrs weasley ushered in fred and george. i was nervous to see fred again, even though id just send him on christmas. loki wasn’t there that day.   
i pulled loki aside and whispered “please don’t say anything to fred.”  
“and what do you think i was going to say?” he asked.  
“i don’t know. but i know you went to see him before halloween, and well, he’s not exactly your biggest fan, so just. dont say anything-“  
“about you.” he finished and i winced. yeah that’s what i meant, but i didn’t need to hear it.   
“yeah.” i confirmed.  
“fine. i won’t. on one condition.” he leaned closer and whispered. “did you two break up because of me?” it was a question but it didn’t really sound like one. it sounded like he knew the answer already and even though i didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of telling him what he wanted to hear, a shudder passed through me.   
“yes.” i said lightly, with a small shake of my head.   
he pulled away and smiled cockily.  
i could tell fred was staring at us and i didn’t want to hurt him so i pulled away from loki and went to join hermione who was talking to charlie and ginny.   
i watched loki go up to lupin and tonks and start having a conversation with them. even though i knew hermione or ginny were saying something, i couldn’t fully concentrate. i kept staring at loki, looking away only when he looked at me. i don’t know why.   
mrs weasley finally brought out the cake after dinner at 8pm, and as much as i didn’t want everyone to, they sang happy birthday as i cut into it, everyone except loki who stood in the corner watching. i blew out the candle with only one wish, that loki would want to stay for as long as i did.   
just before leaving, fred and george caught up to me.   
“hey. i never got to say. happy birthday!” george said and i thanked him with a hug. he then disapperated whole fred stuck around for another minute. he put his hands in his pocket awkwardly.   
“happy birthday ro.” he said quietly.  
i smiled slightly. “thanks.”   
“loki.” he brought up. “he showed up here at midnight?” fred confirmed and i nodded. “i’m glad he makes you happy.” he said and i stared at him.   
“fred-“  
“no it’s ok,” he said. “i saw the way you looked at him all evening.”  
i furrowed my eyebrows. “i didn’t look at him-“  
“it’s the same way i look you.” he said quietly. and i closed my eyes sighing.   
“you broke up with me.”  
“because i didn’t want you to be miserable.”  
“yeah. you made that decision. not me. “ i said quietly not wanting to bring it up again, but it was true.   
“i just. want you to be happy.”  
“i was happy with you.” i said. “but we don’t have to do this again. i know why we broke up, and we have to stay that way.”  
fred nodded. “but i have something for you.” he said pulling something out. “it’s from our shop.”  
“if it’s another ‘share’ from your company, i don’t want it.” i said.   
“no, it’s not. it’s a gift.” he pushed the small box into my hands and dissaperated without another word. i stared at the spot he had disappeared and then down at the box. now i had two presents to open. i smiled and put it up in the room next to the box remus had given me and then remembered my promise to drop hermione back home so i went to find her.   
“hey, you ready to go?” i asked and she nodded grabbing my hand.   
in her room, she stopped me before i could leave. “what did fred say?” she asked. apparently she had noticed that we were talking a moment ago.   
“he said he wanted me to be happy.” i said. and she nodded. “and he thinks being happy for you is with loki?” she asked quietly.   
“how did you know he said that?” i asked in awe.  
“come on we both know he broke up with you because he thought you and loki had something.” she said.  
“how could you possibly know that?”  
“well i didn’t.” she said with a sly smile. “not until this evening.” i raised an eyebrow. “well, you couldn’t stop staring at loki could you? when we were talking?”  
her grin widened and i nudged her shoulder. but just as i was about to leave, a burning question ate at me. “do you- i mean. was he staring at me too?” i asked quietly.   
“he couldn’t stop looking at you either.” she said quietly. “i’ll see you in a couple of days, ok?”  
and she smiled at me before i left for the burrow.   
it wasn’t even that late, but harry and ron had consigned to their rooms as so had loki apparently because he wasn’t in the living room either. ginny and i decided to go upstairs too even though we weren’t going to sleep yet.   
when ginny noticed the longing on my face as i stared at the package sirius and remus had left for me, she excused herself to join her brother and harry. i told her she didn’t have to, but my heart wasn’t in getting her to stay so she did leave.   
i opened the box and there was a large leather book in. i picked it up and ran my fingers over the top feeing the thickness of the leather.   
i was almost scared to open it. what could have been it that i couldn’t have seen before my seventeenth birthday? but a few minutes of staring at it, my curiosity couldn’t be held at bag anymore. i just opened the cover and on the first page it said “to rose. from sirius. for the day you officially become a legal wizard.” i took a deep breathe and turned the first page. taped on to it was the picture that i wore in my locker that he had given me a year ago. then one where we were smiling, even though sirius had only been in reluctantly. even though i looked at that picture everyday, seeing it bigger still made me want to cry.   
i turned the page again and it was the first letter i had ever written him. in third year after i had found out about him, it was making sure he was ok because i knew he was basically living in the shrieking shack. i had left it with the food that i had been leaving him every week that year. he had kept it? i didn’t expect him to. where did he even keep the letter? he was living as a fugitive.   
by that time i was crying, the tears fully poured down my face. i wiped it away quickly because i didn’t want the tears to hit the paper.   
the next page, was a handwritten note but it wasn’t my handwriting. it was sirius’s. 

ro,  
i hope i am there reading this with you, but if for some reason i am not, there is so much i want to tell you. if i am there breathing over your shoulder, now is the time to tell me to take a step back and give you space to breathe. i know i must be feeling nervous as you read this, but that doesn’t mean that i should be crowding you.   
turn the page now. so i can start being even more embarrassing.  
i don’t know where i am now. i don’t know where /we/ are now. but i hope that we’re still friends. i don’t want to hope that we’re still together because that would mean that you’re stuck in this house with me. but that’s what i’m trying to say. this house, is so big. so empty. so filled with loneliness and darkness. rose. if it was not for you, i don’t think i could have survived this year. seriously. even as i write this, i   
feel awful that i am even a little happy that you’re here with me but don’t misunderstand, it’s not because i /want/ you here. it’s because i /need/ you here. your light, the way you fill the house, even when we’re alone. it means everything to me. and.   
-the next page.

rose. i can’t say this to you. i won’t say this to you because it’s not fair to you. because if you hear me say this, i’m afraid you’ll never leave me and all i want is for you to be happy, all i want is for you to get your magic back. all i want is for you to have a future. and this house, it’s no future. so i won’t tell you that i need you, that you remind me so desperately of lily potter and her kindness. because that would be selfish of me. so i’m going to leave the rest of this book empty so that you can fill it up. so that you can fill it with memories of your friends. take lots of pictures. spend lots of time together, and be happy.   
and if i am there with you, then i can tell you that i believe in you. i know you’ll get your magic back. and i promised you that i would never leave you, never go anywhere, never run away, without you. so there is something i need to tell you. just, turn around. but if you choose to leave me. if you choose a different path for yourself that doesn’t involve this mangy old house. just know, i love you. you are like a daughter to me. i became a father the moment lily and james died, to harry yes. but i never expected to be a father to anyone else. thank you for giving it to me again. keep this book. not for whats already in it, but for what you’re going to put in it.

the note ended after three pages and i couldn’t stop crying. i kept reading “i love you” over and over again. those had been his last words to me. “i promised you that i would never leave you.” i whispered out loud. “then why did you sirius?”   
“sirius?” loki was at the door. i hadn’t even noticed that he had opened it.   
“sirius.” i repeated moving over and hoping loki would join me on the bed. he looked awkward for a moment but he stepped in and closed the door behind him.   
“are you ok?” he asked draping his arm over my shoulder. i let the book sit in my lap, closed and buried my face in his shoulder.   
“sirius was like a father to me.” i said. “i know you never met him, but i spent my fifth year with him, in his house. and he left me this for my seventeenth birthday.”   
loki didn’t try to take to book or ask me what was in it.   
he just held me until i was ready to stop.  
“sorry.” i muttered wiping away my tears.  
“no. dont be sorry.” he said gently lifting my face up. “but there’s so much more we need to learn about each other ro.” he said with a slight smile.   
i nodded. “and we’ll have the rest of our lives to do it.” i whispered standing up and he took the cue and stood up too to leave the room.   
after a few moments, i pulled out the box fred gave me. i wondered what was in it but i wasn’t sure if i wanted to open it or not. i’d had enough emotional time for one night.   
luckily i didn’t have to make that choice because that’s when ginny joined me in the room.   
“hey.” she said walking in not asking me about the gift. “you ok?” she probably noticed my puffy red eyes.  
“i’m fine.” i said. “the gift sirius gave me. it was a leather bound book, sort of like a scrapbook. but there’s nothing in it hey except a picture of us. he made a note saying he wants me to fill it up with all my future memories.” i gave her a smile small. “future memories. that’s an oxymoron isn’t it?”  
ginny gave a small laugh. “we’ll have enough.” she said. “you’re staying for a while anyway. and ro. loki, he’s nice. well nicer than i expected for a prince. i honestly thought he’d be stuck up.”  
“me too.” i said. “but i begged him not to embarrass me in front of you guys so i think he took me seriously.”  
“i just hope he gets along with everyone at school as well as he was getting along with bill.” ginny said.  
“you noticed that too!” i exclaimed. “seriously, they looked so good together maybe loki should forget me and just start dating bill.”  
“ah and anyone would be better than phlegm.” ginny said.  
right, i had forgotten that that was ginnys loving name for fleur. of course i’d never met her before because i wasn’t there in fourth year and she hadn’t come around yet. bill said she was still in france as they were waiting for her to get a job before she came out here for good. i thought that was ridiculous as it would probably be easier to get a job once you were here. i didn’t voice my concerns though.   
we both laughed. “wait then, you like loki?” she asked suddenly. and i realized what i had said., and turned bright red.   
“well, i don’t want to be obvious about it. but i think so. if he keeps being decent.” i said. “but the second he starts acting like what we think a prince of asgard should act like. that’s it.”   
Ginny smiled, “yeah, who would want someone who acts like a prince?” she asked sarcastically, but I nodded like she was serious,   
“No, really, can you imagine if he started acting all uptight, and cocky? No, i would hate that. Its why I like fred so much, because he’s so chill and fun to be around. My mind suddenly went back to his gift. “Speaking of fred,” i said standing up to pick up the small box he had given me. “Here’s his gift to me.”  
“Open it.” ginny prompted. “Unless you’d rather be alone for this too?”   
I shook my head, after opening Sirius’s gift on my own, I kind of wished she had been there, I didn't want to be alone when opening Fred’s gift too.   
I undid the ribbon on top of the box and opened it, and a small man flew out of the box and wizzed all over the room. After a moment, I realized he was writing something. “Happy Birthday!” the small man wrote in the air, and once he was done, he collapsed. I picked him up to put him back in the box when I noticed there was a letter too.  
“That was cool.” Ginny said watching the letters disappear from the air. “Do you think he can do it again?” i picked up the man to examine him, but his eyes were closed like he had been deactivated.   
“I don't think so.” I said a little disappointed. But I pulled out the note.  
Remember this man? He was the prototype you made the first day we kissed. George and I managed to make him do things rather than just zoom around the room, but it was thanks to you that we even got this far with him. Actually, it is thanks to you that a lot has happened. I mean, even apart from the money, it was you who showed me a whole different way to love. I never expected to fall in love with you, it just happened. I don't regret a single moment of us, no matter what happened in the end. Just know, that I want you to be as happy as you made me in that time.  
-Fred Weasley (and George for the gift, but not this note).


End file.
